Aiy yai yai~The Nod

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Jan 8, 2008.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    difficult child has this thing she does with her head when she's lying. It's funny because I always noticed it and bristle a bit because it's a thing her biodad does as well. I always wondered how she could pick up a trait like that considering the minimal contact she's had with him over the years. But she does and now that I've finally made the connection between the little short nod of her head with the lies I discover shortly thereafter - and always related to a question that I've asked that causes that little short nod...well, it's difficult to ignore. :grrr:

    difficult child has no money & no job. Yet, she seems to always have money for coffee, cigarettes and gas. When I ask her where she's getting the money for these things she either completely avoids giving me an answer (as she did this morning) or she tells me that her boyfriend (unemployed monkeyboy) gave her money (that he borrowed from his dad) or her bff gave her gas money for driving him to and from work. I know that this is true part of the time. But time is running thin now - Christmas is over and she's spent all her gift cards. She doesn't have a job and claims to have applied everywhere but that no one is hiring....meanwhile I see Help Wanted signs in all the windows. I must be imaging things again.... :hammer:

    If she's on the computer madly typing away :geek: and I round the bend, she will quickly turn my way to look at me and give me 'the nod'. "Hmmmm", I wonder to myself, "She must be up to no good, talking to someone bad, writing or posting something bad". And I know I'm right, because the 'the nod' is never off. She ONLY gives me 'the nod' when she's up to no good, lying, or trying to hide something.

    Then I started thinking back to all the times that my exh did this to me...well, I can't remember ALL the times he gave me the nod, but I do recall quite a few. It's maddening, you know, to discover a sure fire way of KNOWING that someone is lying to you, yet not being able to prove it.

    This difficult child of mine was up and dressed and out of the house before me this morning. I leave my house typically around 8 for work, and difficult child was up and dressed, with a coffee by 7:45AM. I was excited at first because I thought, "Wow, she's up to go job hunting. She's taking this seriously now!" but when I said Good Morning to difficult child, she turned to me and, you guessed it, she gave me 'the nod', so I asked her, "difficult child, what are you up to this morning?" and she told me she was meeting one of her old girlfriends for breakfast. "With what money?" I asked. She ignored the question, pretended to choke and then left the kitchen. I resisted the urge to bring the nod to her attention.

    Do your difficult children/pcs have a certain movement or anything that is an indicator to you that they are lying? I can't believe it took me so darned long to make this connection.
     
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Bring the nod to her attention? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!! :nonono: No, no, no, no, no, no, no,! That's your handy dandy sneak-scope! You just don't give that up!! LOL

    Keep that secret with you to your GRAVE woman! You may not know what she's up to, but now you've always got an idea that there is SOMETHING going on. It will prove to be very very useful. My difficult child doesn't have one specific indicator but he has his habits. Generally we can tell when he's lying but there are times that we have no clue.
     
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Oh no, Jo...don't spill.

    It did not take me long to figure out that my DEX (the biggest, loser-est difficult child of them all) may THINK he is smooth when he lies, but he does one thing every single time. If you ask him "so where have you been?" his answer starts with "where have I been?"

    I never told him. To this day, when he does that, I stifle a laugh.
     
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Whatever you do, don't tell her! This is a total "tell" I wouldn't mind sitting down to play poker with her. If she ever had any money to lose, that is. :rofl:
     
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    :rofl: seriously!

    easy child is a good liar I've learned. difficult child - not so much. I've found out so much stuff this past week that went on with easy child while she was still in HS that I never knew. She was/is a GOOD liar! difficult child is so nervous when she's lying I always know. And, there isn't anything they can lie about that I haven't done. Ahem, see that post about admitting out difficult child-ness - haha.
     
  6. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I haven't anything physical, but I can usually tell Oldest is lying based on her explanation of events. The more elaborate the story, the bigger chance it is a lie. As for "catching" them in a lie .. it doesn't matter with my Oldest ... she will deny, deny, deny. Never, ever will she admit to a lie, even when caught "red-handed." It's VERY frustrating.
     
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    difficult child smiles when she lies. Every time.
     
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE



    Jo, I was an idiot. I basically taught Rob how to lie when he was a young boy..."I know you're lying because you're not looking at me!" "I know you're lying because ......" :hammer:

    I completely agree that you don't want to give away your secret radar to her nod.

    Suz
     
  9. mary9461

    mary9461 trying to hang on

    Don't give it up. My difficult child's voice goes up when he is lying, but I would always tell him "I know you are lying because your mouth is moving". He doesn't know I picked up on the voice change thing. :rofl:

    Marybeth
     
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I always said that about difficult child (not to her face)!! :rofl:

    When H asks me "Where's difficult child" I now answer, "I don't know. She could be anywhere; she gave me 'the nod'" :rofl:
     
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