I went to my second Al-Anon meeting tonight and daughter came along (sort of had to due to carpool arrangements). Near the end of the meeting daughter opened up about how she sees our family situation and how it feels to her. She's very realistic, much more detached than I am. Her maturity blew me away. I came away determined to take the next step in my life for her sake ... to advance beyond my perpetual state of upset/grief/tears/anger/sadness in order to be HER mom, and MY self. I know it all in theory but still get consumed, just submerged in difficult child's dramas and behaviors. For example, I realized tonight that I forgot to send flowers and a get-well gift to a woman I know who had neck surgery in late September - I called her, but I planned to send some nice things and then, as always, a big difficult child drama erupted and I thought of nothing else and clean forgot about sending things to let this friend know I was thinking of her. I wasn't!! But I wanted to, and I should have been!! So my goal from tonight is to not only know about detachment but to live it - before my life, and everything I ought to/want to/need to do in it, slips away. Honestly. I can't believe I just forgot about this friend. And then I think about the time lost, over the years, to my other kids. It makes me feel sick.