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Alcoholic Adult Son Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 760527" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>J, I've been taking a short break here, don't know why I checked in tonight, but I did and couldn't pass your post by. Good, I just saw a notification that Copa responded to you. She has much wisdom to share.</p><p></p><p>I can relate to your first paragraph almost word for word, except the George Clooney description.</p><p></p><p>Emotionally right now I'm very disconnected from recent circumstances. But I have been where you are, many times, and hope you can find a way to take back to some of your sanity, take a breath and ground yourself a bit. I go outside, stand in my bare feet in any kind of weather, just to feel nature. Whatever it takes for you, please try to compartmentalize you son's troubles aside from yourself, lower your blood pressure and get your feet under you. You know by now, whatever you do for you will not effect his outcome.</p><p></p><p>On a more practical side I think al anon is a great idea, hopefully there are in person meetings near you. My son is menially ill, previously dual diagnosis meaning both mentally ill and a substance abuser. Over the years he's been in rehabs and even though I didn't speak a word in al anon meetings, hearing others speaking in those meetings was very helpful for me. Yes, there's a good chance you will cry and not say a word, that's okay, they get it.</p><p></p><p>Another suggestion would be for you to look into the local crises intervention resources near him so you are prepared. You should be able to find them through the hospital near him, you can call them anytime to discuss your son, to get an idea of what they can do for him. From what you have described he is a danger to himself which would put him into at least a 3 day Baker Act hold in the hospital if they intervene this time and it can become more time with future interventions, as has happened with my son, currently up to two weeks. It won't be a solution but could move towards one. If they feel he needs rehab they will work towards that for him, possibly without his approval, which may or may not work depending on if clearing his head while there helps him.</p><p></p><p>My son is typically very nasty with me also, but I've found others can influence him into doing what is right for him whereas I cannot. Over the last few years, from hospitalizations, my son now has housing provided to him from a local mental health organization, he has a case worker, and they can get him to do minimal to take care of himself but I can get him to do nothing. At your son's age, which is my son's age, we are supposed to fill the role of cheerleader, a listening ear, and some guidance only when they ask for it. We cannot run their lives for them, even though we know they seem incapable, and maybe are not capable of running their own lives. We have been given clear evidence we cannot do what we are willing to do at this point in their lives, they won't allow it, and frankly even if they would it would not be a solution.</p><p></p><p>Hoping for some peace for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 760527, member: 22840"] J, I've been taking a short break here, don't know why I checked in tonight, but I did and couldn't pass your post by. Good, I just saw a notification that Copa responded to you. She has much wisdom to share. I can relate to your first paragraph almost word for word, except the George Clooney description. Emotionally right now I'm very disconnected from recent circumstances. But I have been where you are, many times, and hope you can find a way to take back to some of your sanity, take a breath and ground yourself a bit. I go outside, stand in my bare feet in any kind of weather, just to feel nature. Whatever it takes for you, please try to compartmentalize you son's troubles aside from yourself, lower your blood pressure and get your feet under you. You know by now, whatever you do for you will not effect his outcome. On a more practical side I think al anon is a great idea, hopefully there are in person meetings near you. My son is menially ill, previously dual diagnosis meaning both mentally ill and a substance abuser. Over the years he's been in rehabs and even though I didn't speak a word in al anon meetings, hearing others speaking in those meetings was very helpful for me. Yes, there's a good chance you will cry and not say a word, that's okay, they get it. Another suggestion would be for you to look into the local crises intervention resources near him so you are prepared. You should be able to find them through the hospital near him, you can call them anytime to discuss your son, to get an idea of what they can do for him. From what you have described he is a danger to himself which would put him into at least a 3 day Baker Act hold in the hospital if they intervene this time and it can become more time with future interventions, as has happened with my son, currently up to two weeks. It won't be a solution but could move towards one. If they feel he needs rehab they will work towards that for him, possibly without his approval, which may or may not work depending on if clearing his head while there helps him. My son is typically very nasty with me also, but I've found others can influence him into doing what is right for him whereas I cannot. Over the last few years, from hospitalizations, my son now has housing provided to him from a local mental health organization, he has a case worker, and they can get him to do minimal to take care of himself but I can get him to do nothing. At your son's age, which is my son's age, we are supposed to fill the role of cheerleader, a listening ear, and some guidance only when they ask for it. We cannot run their lives for them, even though we know they seem incapable, and maybe are not capable of running their own lives. We have been given clear evidence we cannot do what we are willing to do at this point in their lives, they won't allow it, and frankly even if they would it would not be a solution. Hoping for some peace for you. [/QUOTE]
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