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Alcoholic Adult Son Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 760540" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>JC</p><p>So many of us here can identify with your post. Some of us like myself, daily work on trying to figure out where our life begins and where our childrens lives start. They seem to have melded into one and we take on the emotional and psychological heaviness, illness, sadness and emptiness of our children. Were our parents able to remove our pain, hurt, sadness and emptiness? No, so how come we think we are obliged to to that for them? I've been trying to work on that for years. Where did my "illness" and thought process begin to get me to feeling that I'm responsible for their housing, food, happiness in life, jobs etc? </p><p></p><p>I too agree that Al anon would be a great start for you. Many of us cried quite often when we first began attending meetings. For a lot of us it's the first time we verbally share out loud with others our troubles. I think it's cathartic and will help you the more you attend. You may not even say a word for several meetings and that's ok. There is no pressure to share until, if or when you're ready.</p><p></p><p>Try to focus on yourself a little bit each day giving yourself more and more time. Whether it's reading, praying, a pedicure or a walk. These are gentle loving things we can do for our physical and mental well-being. Your son basically has monopolized your every thought (I've been there and understand...no judgment). That's exhausting and not loving to yourself. Somehow, we think we have to be martyrs when it comes to our children and sacrifice all that we have - money and sanity. I don't think that's our purpose and the struggle for us is to pull our mind set away from that and become healthier.</p><p></p><p>I heard once that we think obstacles block our pathway but in fact obstacles are our pathway. Meaning amidst all this craziness we live we have to find our way. We cannot go around our obstacles, jump over them, slide by them or bust through them. We have to make our minds strong and healthy enough so we can walk towards the obstacles, day by day, step by step until we are on the other side.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting it will help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 760540, member: 23405"] JC So many of us here can identify with your post. Some of us like myself, daily work on trying to figure out where our life begins and where our childrens lives start. They seem to have melded into one and we take on the emotional and psychological heaviness, illness, sadness and emptiness of our children. Were our parents able to remove our pain, hurt, sadness and emptiness? No, so how come we think we are obliged to to that for them? I've been trying to work on that for years. Where did my "illness" and thought process begin to get me to feeling that I'm responsible for their housing, food, happiness in life, jobs etc? I too agree that Al anon would be a great start for you. Many of us cried quite often when we first began attending meetings. For a lot of us it's the first time we verbally share out loud with others our troubles. I think it's cathartic and will help you the more you attend. You may not even say a word for several meetings and that's ok. There is no pressure to share until, if or when you're ready. Try to focus on yourself a little bit each day giving yourself more and more time. Whether it's reading, praying, a pedicure or a walk. These are gentle loving things we can do for our physical and mental well-being. Your son basically has monopolized your every thought (I've been there and understand...no judgment). That's exhausting and not loving to yourself. Somehow, we think we have to be martyrs when it comes to our children and sacrifice all that we have - money and sanity. I don't think that's our purpose and the struggle for us is to pull our mind set away from that and become healthier. I heard once that we think obstacles block our pathway but in fact obstacles are our pathway. Meaning amidst all this craziness we live we have to find our way. We cannot go around our obstacles, jump over them, slide by them or bust through them. We have to make our minds strong and healthy enough so we can walk towards the obstacles, day by day, step by step until we are on the other side. Keep posting it will help. [/QUOTE]
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