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All good things come to an end....
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 677255" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I am sorry Copa for all of this. It is difficult to live our lives this way, trying to be lovingly detached, trying to stay strong.</p><p>We chug on, building ourselves up, living our lives, dealing with our own issues, health, bills, relationships.</p><p></p><p>What a completely different reality we live in, from that of people with children who have launched, and go on to live productive lives.</p><p></p><p>It is hard when our d cs come back into the picture, for me harder than when they are not. When they are out there, there is always that thought in the back of my mind, as to how they are doing, the hope that they have found a way.</p><p></p><p>Then, boom, back again.</p><p></p><p>With my easy children, the phone rings, and I am happy to hear from them. Happy, when they come to visit.</p><p></p><p>When my d cs reappear, that feeling of "what now?" Glad to know they are surviving, but then the feeling of dread, they are still using, the energy it takes to keep my guard up, the extremes necessary to protect ones heart, and home.</p><p>The timing of it all, seems so impeccable, right when I am feeling a bit stronger, able to deflect the worries and heartache.<em> Boom. Contact.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>For although we lovingly detach, there are still the years of loving and care, the good memories that keep them in our hearts. We love them.</em></p><p></p><p>It is a cruel game. <em>A test. </em>"Lets see how you will handle this one." The universe says.</p><p></p><p> I think this is a good idea, Copa. It is not right to create this kind of control over another. I am glad you see this for what it is. You have worked hard all of these months at setting boundaries.</p><p></p><p> Amen, I feel the same way. Sad, and scared. You are right, it does not matter, we have no control over this, what our d cs do how they view us in their lives. We only have control over ourselves, our response and reactions.</p><p> I do not want to live the rest of my life this way, either. </p><p>I wish my two, would just see the light, get it together. </p><p></p><p> It is hard. I never thought my two would come to this, much less bring grandchildren into it. I am sad for all of us who go through this. Not just the parents, the d cs, too. They are lost in their thinking.</p><p> I do not think they can even begin to grasp, how difficult this is for us. </p><p> This is a good stipulation. I hope that your son will do this.</p><p>It is a line drawn, that will help him, and help you protect yourself.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong Copa, my heart goes out to you.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 677255, member: 19522"] I am sorry Copa for all of this. It is difficult to live our lives this way, trying to be lovingly detached, trying to stay strong. We chug on, building ourselves up, living our lives, dealing with our own issues, health, bills, relationships. What a completely different reality we live in, from that of people with children who have launched, and go on to live productive lives. It is hard when our d cs come back into the picture, for me harder than when they are not. When they are out there, there is always that thought in the back of my mind, as to how they are doing, the hope that they have found a way. Then, boom, back again. With my easy children, the phone rings, and I am happy to hear from them. Happy, when they come to visit. When my d cs reappear, that feeling of "what now?" Glad to know they are surviving, but then the feeling of dread, they are still using, the energy it takes to keep my guard up, the extremes necessary to protect ones heart, and home. The timing of it all, seems so impeccable, right when I am feeling a bit stronger, able to deflect the worries and heartache.[I] Boom. Contact. For although we lovingly detach, there are still the years of loving and care, the good memories that keep them in our hearts. We love them.[/I] It is a cruel game. [I]A test. [/I]"Lets see how you will handle this one." The universe says. I think this is a good idea, Copa. It is not right to create this kind of control over another. I am glad you see this for what it is. You have worked hard all of these months at setting boundaries. Amen, I feel the same way. Sad, and scared. You are right, it does not matter, we have no control over this, what our d cs do how they view us in their lives. We only have control over ourselves, our response and reactions. I do not want to live the rest of my life this way, either. I wish my two, would just see the light, get it together. It is hard. I never thought my two would come to this, much less bring grandchildren into it. I am sad for all of us who go through this. Not just the parents, the d cs, too. They are lost in their thinking. I do not think they can even begin to grasp, how difficult this is for us. This is a good stipulation. I hope that your son will do this. It is a line drawn, that will help him, and help you protect yourself. Stay strong Copa, my heart goes out to you. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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