All the men in my life are miffed with me. I think I need vacation from them (vent)

[SuZir]

Well at least all the men who matter. I'm getting silent treatment from husband and both of my sons. And even my dog is not happy with me. And I haven't had good time anyway lately (sleeping issues, anxiety, whatever) so I'm quite ready to book myself a flight somewhere far away for few days. Or at take a car and forget my phone home (not that they are talking to me right now, but I'm sure they are back at whining to me in no time.)

husband was driving through difficult child's city for business and stopped by. difficult child told him something he and his girlfriend are planning about and what husband is not too happy about (neither am I, but it still is very typical young adult stuff, I will be back to that maybe later if they proceed with the matter.) husband just had to go to 'forbidden area' while trying to talk some sense to difficult child and asked about how difficult child thinks this plan will work out when he and girlfriend split. difficult child threw a temper tantrum and his 'poor ickle me' routine how we never have any faith in him and never support him. That of course is total bovine feces if there is any. But they had a nasty row over it and husband is still very miffed with difficult child. When he came home he was mulling over and over what an insolent whelp difficult child is. I did listen to him, I did validate his feelings, I did agree with him that difficult child really was being an insolent whelp. I did all that several times. But as i said I haven't been feeling too well lately and I was feeling grumpy. So after about fifth time I did snap and asked husband that if he got him worked up this badly over our insolent whelp being an insolent whelp, if he plans to get worked up next over the fact that difficult child has blue eyes or that he eats a lot. I mean what did he expect? That because our insolent whelp has had a good month and because he at times shows some signs of maturation that he would just stop being an insolent whelp just like that?

So now husband is miffed with both me and my insolent whelp. My insolent whelp is miffed with me because I never have any faith in him. And just hour ago I also manage to get easy child miffed with me.

easy child is done with compulsory education and started first part of his voluntary school last week (well how voluntary it really is, is a different matter. but there is no law that makes it compulsory for him to attend school any more.) easy child has decided to give a try for making it to pro sports and is taking one extra year in High School to accommodate that. Still he needs to do a bit more independent study than average highschooler. Apparently easy child imagined I would give him free rains on his education like we did with difficult child in this point. Not gonna happen. Different kid, different rules. difficult child has always learned best when you give him free rains over the material. He is very good at grasping the big picture from a bulk of material and working his way to details. He also learns best reading independently and not at all as well by listening. easy child is much more traditional learner. Listening in class, taking notes, doing his homework, learning step by step and piece by piece to put together the big picture works very well for him. (And there is also the fact that while easy child is a very smart kid, he is not gifted in a way difficult child is. That I didn't say to him.) So he is going to go to his classes (even if difficult child never went most of his), he is going to do his homework in time and study every week for the classes he is missing bulk of class time of. easy child had a short sport camp this weekend and he just came home and I made it clear he is not going anywhere this evening before he has caught up all the homework and reading from his first week.

So now also easy child is miffed with me because 'I always favour the difficult child and never let him do the things I let difficult child do.'

And my dog hurt his paw and is in restricted activity till the stitches are taken off. And he is miffed with me too.

So I'm about ready to find some nice spa or short trip for next weekend just for me. Or maybe I just go to our summer cottage with berry and mushroom baskets with me and forbid anyone else coming even near the place...

 

[witzend]

Well, I don't know where your summer cottage is, but it sounds nice. I'd check in for a week of rest and self-reflection. You don't have to do it in a huff, you can just call it "me time".

 

[SuZir]

Well, I don't know where your summer cottage is, but it sounds nice. I'd check in for a week of rest and self-reflection. You don't have to do it in a huff, you can just call it "me time".

That could be a plan. In fact our cottage is near enough for me to commute work from there. I could just leave three of tha males miffed with me at home and say I need some alone time. As odd as it sounds the fourth miffed one (difficult child) grates me least just now. It certainly helps when person giving you silent treatment is over three hours away and only calls you about twice a week even when not giving a silent treatment. With him I can just forget he is miffed and wait till he has calmed down/needs something from me/wants to tell me something. And if something happens I need to know about, someone else will call anyway. So he is not getting to my nerves at all. But I'm currently sharing a room with one sulking teen and husband is making his unhappiness known from the next room (he is very good at being very loudly silent.) And the dog is not giving a silent treatment, he is whining and carrying me toys. Them I could do without for few days (though not before Wednesday, husband will be away Tuesday night and I don't want to leave easy child home alone for a night.)

 

[Hound dog]

Aw that stinks.

Take the miffed lil doggie baby with you and go on a retreat. At least he wont stay miffed for long.

As for husband.......been there done that and I would've said/done the same thing....actually I did multiple times. Same with the easy child and the you "favor" crud. easy child realizes now that is not the case, but maturity had to sink in first.

I wish I had a cabin. No one is miffed at me, I'd just like to escape from the real world for a while LOL

 

[ThreeShadows]

I've never heard the word "ickle" before, what does it mean?

 

[Hound dog]

Ickle means "little". I *think* it's a slang thing.

 

[SuZir]

Thanks Hound. Ickle is slang for little and has an ironic tilt in it. It's more used in British English than US, I think. English is not my first or second language and I was taught British English first so I often do use British words and spelling and don't even notice. Sorry if it makes (with my blatant grammar and other errors) my texts difficult to understand.

 

[pasajes4]

Time away from our loved ones is a time well spent. You can regroup, do what you please with your time,and go back into the frey with more energy.

 

[TerryJ2]

Hey, you've still got tonight and Monday night.
Holiday Inns are clean and consistent. And they usually have pools. Pick one about 3 hrs away (in the opposite direction from difficult child), just far enough to say it's a true vacation.
Go for it!

 

[SuZir]

I did decide I need that break and am soon heading to our cottage for few days. I do have to go to work (didn't feel like taking days off over this, I have use for those later) but commute is not that bad. I will take my berry and mushroom buckets, my not-hurt dog (the whiny one can stay home, he would be even more whiny in the cottage when he still wouldn't be allowed to run free), few good books and my laptop. And I asked husband and easy child only call if it is important.

husband is still grumpy with me and talking little. easy child as expected went quickly from silent treatment to some whining, but he in fact is already back to normal. He did adapt to the rules fairly quickly even if he thinks it is unfair that difficult child was given a freedom to take care of his school how he saw fit in this point and he isn't. I do plan to give the same freedom also to him, but not quite yet. I do think that when he has that, he will let himself too far back in his work, get overwhelmed and do badly in his courses. Luckily our kids school work in High School is split to small pieces (five periods a year, six courses a period, a lot of courses called Trigonometry 2 etc., so bad grade from one course doesn't matter a lot, when you have 10 more in same subject) and they can even retake exams. So it is perfect time for him to learn time management by trying and failing without any long term ill effects. But first I want him to learn that he is able to do well also in this level. We don't have ability groups in school before High School and many not so academically inclined have chosen vocational path in this point and rigour for those choosing academics centric High School tends to rise quickly. So letting easy child fail his first few periods could send a message that he is not up to this at all. I'm absolutely sure that is not true and I want to show him that he can do well first, only then I will let him learn that he has to manage his time well to do so.


I have to say that I just love, love, love his sunny disposition. Even now, being sixteen and a typical smelly teen boy he is generally very cheery and in good mood. Never sulks long and is very good at adapting and adjusting. I often have to remind myself what a lucky gal I am, that I have such a great kid! As it says in my sig, A Joy! But still, some me-time will be good for me. And I have to think something considering my easy child. I may be back later to ask advice on that.