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Parent Emeritus
ALL THIS - IT's at the least half my faul..I cannot see it any other way-I have tried
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 472899"><p>I'm so sorry you are hurting. I agree with Nancy's post. Even if there is some truth to what you say, not all adult children who had indulgent (or overindulgent) parents grow up to be difficult children. There are probably other things going on as well. It's okay that you have realized that you may have had some SMALL role in SOME of this. The most important thing is that you realize that you can not enable your adult child. This doesn't help him one bit and more than likely is very damaging. He is 28 years old and it is time that he realizes (and he should have done this on his own, really) that he has to be a responsible and respectful human being. No way in the world should you accept otherwise. You set a good example when you don't. Do not live in the past. What is done is done. Move forward and hold your head up high as you do. If possible and appropriate and if you have the opporunity, you might gently and briefly tell him that you wish you had did things differently teaching him more responsibility when he was younger. But that you love him and know in your heart that he is going to be fine. You are doing what needs to be done for both of your sakes. Then, with as little emotion as possible, move forward and let the past go. If this pain gets the best of you, don't hesitate to seek the advice of a therapist. This stuff is very, very difficult. Sounds like you are stronger than you think. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 472899"] I'm so sorry you are hurting. I agree with Nancy's post. Even if there is some truth to what you say, not all adult children who had indulgent (or overindulgent) parents grow up to be difficult children. There are probably other things going on as well. It's okay that you have realized that you may have had some SMALL role in SOME of this. The most important thing is that you realize that you can not enable your adult child. This doesn't help him one bit and more than likely is very damaging. He is 28 years old and it is time that he realizes (and he should have done this on his own, really) that he has to be a responsible and respectful human being. No way in the world should you accept otherwise. You set a good example when you don't. Do not live in the past. What is done is done. Move forward and hold your head up high as you do. If possible and appropriate and if you have the opporunity, you might gently and briefly tell him that you wish you had did things differently teaching him more responsibility when he was younger. But that you love him and know in your heart that he is going to be fine. You are doing what needs to be done for both of your sakes. Then, with as little emotion as possible, move forward and let the past go. If this pain gets the best of you, don't hesitate to seek the advice of a therapist. This stuff is very, very difficult. Sounds like you are stronger than you think. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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ALL THIS - IT's at the least half my faul..I cannot see it any other way-I have tried
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