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Allowing husband to parent difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="compassion" data-source="post: 248470" data-attributes="member: 6393"><p>A long prswnt issue came up yesterday in our family session. Until June, I felt I was essentially single parenting difficult child:it was very overwhellming: I was the nurtruer and the limit setter and he pretty much came home and withdrew and left the nitty gritty to me. I was so frustrated ,resentful. I would try to talk to h im,he just really could not "get it". When difficult child started acting our majorally in the summer, I landed in a therapist's office in tears, I can't do this alone anymore. Well, things are a lot better. He does take more of a role, we are a more united front today and often difficult child, the expert on triangualtion and playing each other, does not like it. All week, it has been ahuge struggle as she wants me to take her to a medical appointment. and we have both decided not to do this: techs will.</p><p> Yesterday, she was crying a lot about wanting dad's attenntion. This is like a major breakthrough. For so many years, I was like single parent with this child. She really needs Dad and that is coming through. Her hoptiliation is very difficult on husband and he is a near colapse. I was the meanie, it was me at times that was targted as haivng a difficult time with difficult child. Not really true, and this came out big time yesterday. It is me that is so open and loving and expressive to her and she craves more from Dad. That was pivitol and by me backing off some, the truth came out.</p><p> My deal is trying to detach and let him work stuff out, by me backing off and haivn g him take more of a role, stuff is shifting and that is good but kind of weird. </p><p>Compassion</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="compassion, post: 248470, member: 6393"] A long prswnt issue came up yesterday in our family session. Until June, I felt I was essentially single parenting difficult child:it was very overwhellming: I was the nurtruer and the limit setter and he pretty much came home and withdrew and left the nitty gritty to me. I was so frustrated ,resentful. I would try to talk to h im,he just really could not "get it". When difficult child started acting our majorally in the summer, I landed in a therapist's office in tears, I can't do this alone anymore. Well, things are a lot better. He does take more of a role, we are a more united front today and often difficult child, the expert on triangualtion and playing each other, does not like it. All week, it has been ahuge struggle as she wants me to take her to a medical appointment. and we have both decided not to do this: techs will. Yesterday, she was crying a lot about wanting dad's attenntion. This is like a major breakthrough. For so many years, I was like single parent with this child. She really needs Dad and that is coming through. Her hoptiliation is very difficult on husband and he is a near colapse. I was the meanie, it was me at times that was targted as haivng a difficult time with difficult child. Not really true, and this came out big time yesterday. It is me that is so open and loving and expressive to her and she craves more from Dad. That was pivitol and by me backing off some, the truth came out. My deal is trying to detach and let him work stuff out, by me backing off and haivn g him take more of a role, stuff is shifting and that is good but kind of weird. Compassion [/QUOTE]
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