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Allowing husband to parent difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 248473" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Can you get him to lurk here? It really helps me and my husband to stay on the same page. And we started out form a point of being good communicators with each other, we didn't think there was any room for improvement. But it has been amazing for us. </p><p></p><p>I post here often during the day or maybe later at night Aussie time. husband mostly lurks during his lunch break at work, or sometimes at home. Sometimes I might say something he disagrees with, or sometimes I might say somwthing that I've tried to tell him, but in the few seconds' grab here or there that ias our lot when we have difficult children at home clamouring for our attention. It is only when either of us can sit at the computer and communicate with the CD board (or read) that we have larger chunks of uninterrupted time to either say what we need to (in one chink) or to read it. That has helped, because then husband will come home form work and say, "I read your post today. I hadn't realised the situation was quigte like that, but once I read it I think I understood better. But I have a couple of questions..."</p><p></p><p>The other thing that helps, do try to do this - try to have a few minutes after husband gets home from work (or you do - whichever way it goes) where you can each get your cup of tea and go sit quietly away from kids, and share about the day. It's not always going to be possible and some people need to NOT hear about the problems of the day as soon as they get home. It's a matter of finding balance, of finding something you both are comfortable to do, and make sure it is sharing time, not one of you dumping on the other.</p><p></p><p>Put the two together (the lurking, and the communication/relax session) and it can really make a huge difference.</p><p></p><p>husband finally joined the site in his own right, because when he logged in using my name, I often lost track of threads I had posted on, because I didn't get to see new posts because the site thought I had already seen them. So now he is "Marg's Man".</p><p></p><p>Works for us. Works well. It's got to the point where husband will be listening to a song, or see a joke, and say, "Star would like that," or "We must send this one to ... because with the problems she's having with her child, she will really appreciate this." It's lovely.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 248473, member: 1991"] Can you get him to lurk here? It really helps me and my husband to stay on the same page. And we started out form a point of being good communicators with each other, we didn't think there was any room for improvement. But it has been amazing for us. I post here often during the day or maybe later at night Aussie time. husband mostly lurks during his lunch break at work, or sometimes at home. Sometimes I might say something he disagrees with, or sometimes I might say somwthing that I've tried to tell him, but in the few seconds' grab here or there that ias our lot when we have difficult children at home clamouring for our attention. It is only when either of us can sit at the computer and communicate with the CD board (or read) that we have larger chunks of uninterrupted time to either say what we need to (in one chink) or to read it. That has helped, because then husband will come home form work and say, "I read your post today. I hadn't realised the situation was quigte like that, but once I read it I think I understood better. But I have a couple of questions..." The other thing that helps, do try to do this - try to have a few minutes after husband gets home from work (or you do - whichever way it goes) where you can each get your cup of tea and go sit quietly away from kids, and share about the day. It's not always going to be possible and some people need to NOT hear about the problems of the day as soon as they get home. It's a matter of finding balance, of finding something you both are comfortable to do, and make sure it is sharing time, not one of you dumping on the other. Put the two together (the lurking, and the communication/relax session) and it can really make a huge difference. husband finally joined the site in his own right, because when he logged in using my name, I often lost track of threads I had posted on, because I didn't get to see new posts because the site thought I had already seen them. So now he is "Marg's Man". Works for us. Works well. It's got to the point where husband will be listening to a song, or see a joke, and say, "Star would like that," or "We must send this one to ... because with the problems she's having with her child, she will really appreciate this." It's lovely. Marg [/QUOTE]
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