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<blockquote data-quote="Carolita2" data-source="post: 671415" data-attributes="member: 19632"><p>Thanks leafy for your reply..I am a perfectionist and not doing this perfectly just gives me a reason to get down on myself..The truth be known, I am an adult child of an alcoholic and a narcissistic mother..Definitely belong on FOO..and will get there eventually..have done lots of work on it but obviously have more to do..Never goes away, just baby steps..</p><p>I like when you talked about the lessons THEY must look learn and that the struggles are a result of their choices...it is a gift to them, to let them go..That's square one...How they deal with it from that point on is completely their property.</p><p>Our property is our grief and turning our attention back to us..I mean alot of the grief is obvious, as parents we love our children and grieve what could have been. But for hubs and I there is more...that's where our own stuff comes in. I was raised to accommodate an angry father, we all were..Only his needs mattered..We didn't..much the way we behave the Difficult Child..He matters more than we..</p><p>So here we are, breaking the pattern and hopefully changing our future.</p><p>Hugs to you leafy...for your kind and accepting thoughts..</p><p>As my dear friend says "resume"..Let yesterday go and start new today!</p><p>Carolita</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Carolita2, post: 671415, member: 19632"] Thanks leafy for your reply..I am a perfectionist and not doing this perfectly just gives me a reason to get down on myself..The truth be known, I am an adult child of an alcoholic and a narcissistic mother..Definitely belong on FOO..and will get there eventually..have done lots of work on it but obviously have more to do..Never goes away, just baby steps.. I like when you talked about the lessons THEY must look learn and that the struggles are a result of their choices...it is a gift to them, to let them go..That's square one...How they deal with it from that point on is completely their property. Our property is our grief and turning our attention back to us..I mean alot of the grief is obvious, as parents we love our children and grieve what could have been. But for hubs and I there is more...that's where our own stuff comes in. I was raised to accommodate an angry father, we all were..Only his needs mattered..We didn't..much the way we behave the Difficult Child..He matters more than we.. So here we are, breaking the pattern and hopefully changing our future. Hugs to you leafy...for your kind and accepting thoughts.. As my dear friend says "resume"..Let yesterday go and start new today! Carolita [/QUOTE]
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