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Substance Abuse
Alone and the saga goes on and on...when I thought there was hope
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<blockquote data-quote="Lost in sadness" data-source="post: 722811" data-attributes="member: 21056"><p>So, things were good. Not 100% but 100% better. That was my saying. Right now I am feeling really alone. My husband and I cannot seem to stop niggling at each other and I have noticed that he no longer asks me about my son or shows any interest in discussing him. I kind of get it but it equally makes me angry. I do not expect him to agree with me but I do expect him to still listen.</p><p></p><p>The situation is this....My son has held down his job for 4months and is now in another house share after leaving the homeless hostel. This is progress. BUT there are still issues! He has had a few run ins in his house share such as being noisy and having his girlfriend over too many nights. He has now been warned. On Saturday morning I receive a message from a friend he works with to say my son had been arrested the night before and had not gone to work on the Saturday. He was worried because my son was on a final warning at work (this I did not know). It turns out that my son drunk too much alcohol, got into an altercation with someone that almost poked his eye out. In anger he smashes a taxi drivers window and gets arrested for criminal damage. He now has a court date for this so will now mean a criminal record!! I was already cross at him for blowing his whole monthly wage on a playstation, a holiday and expensive aftershave and did not stick to the deal of paying back what he owes us. I have also had to cover his rent. He told me he smoothed it over at work and that he will take the playstation back.</p><p></p><p>Today, he asks if I can pay his rent and he will pay me back when he returns his playstation. I see he is trying to sell this privately which means the shop will not take this back which is not what he has told me. He has now also sent me formal paperwork from his job where is will be going to a big meeting to discuss whether his employment will be terminated due to constant lateness! The lateness he is blaming on late taxi drivers. What!!?? he is getting taxis to work rather than using his bike but yet has no money for rent! I am furious and also really suffering with anxiety over this. I want to help him as I don't want him back to square one and he is in a better place but seriously when does it end? What do I do? Do I pay the rent to minimise the problems and allow me to sleep at night or do I make him sort this stuff out? I just feel sick he will lose his job when he was doing so well. It appears he manages to sort himself out but then drifts back to old ways. He cannot seem to sustain anything and I feel so alone with it all. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lost in sadness, post: 722811, member: 21056"] So, things were good. Not 100% but 100% better. That was my saying. Right now I am feeling really alone. My husband and I cannot seem to stop niggling at each other and I have noticed that he no longer asks me about my son or shows any interest in discussing him. I kind of get it but it equally makes me angry. I do not expect him to agree with me but I do expect him to still listen. The situation is this....My son has held down his job for 4months and is now in another house share after leaving the homeless hostel. This is progress. BUT there are still issues! He has had a few run ins in his house share such as being noisy and having his girlfriend over too many nights. He has now been warned. On Saturday morning I receive a message from a friend he works with to say my son had been arrested the night before and had not gone to work on the Saturday. He was worried because my son was on a final warning at work (this I did not know). It turns out that my son drunk too much alcohol, got into an altercation with someone that almost poked his eye out. In anger he smashes a taxi drivers window and gets arrested for criminal damage. He now has a court date for this so will now mean a criminal record!! I was already cross at him for blowing his whole monthly wage on a playstation, a holiday and expensive aftershave and did not stick to the deal of paying back what he owes us. I have also had to cover his rent. He told me he smoothed it over at work and that he will take the playstation back. Today, he asks if I can pay his rent and he will pay me back when he returns his playstation. I see he is trying to sell this privately which means the shop will not take this back which is not what he has told me. He has now also sent me formal paperwork from his job where is will be going to a big meeting to discuss whether his employment will be terminated due to constant lateness! The lateness he is blaming on late taxi drivers. What!!?? he is getting taxis to work rather than using his bike but yet has no money for rent! I am furious and also really suffering with anxiety over this. I want to help him as I don't want him back to square one and he is in a better place but seriously when does it end? What do I do? Do I pay the rent to minimise the problems and allow me to sleep at night or do I make him sort this stuff out? I just feel sick he will lose his job when he was doing so well. It appears he manages to sort himself out but then drifts back to old ways. He cannot seem to sustain anything and I feel so alone with it all. :( :( [/QUOTE]
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Alone and the saga goes on and on...when I thought there was hope
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