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Also new to site -- need help with relatives
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<blockquote data-quote="navineja" data-source="post: 112868" data-attributes="member: 4278"><p>been there done that too. I used to talk to my friends and family about the problems I have with the kids, since they all have kids and I thought that I could get advice. Big mistake most of the time! I have found that there are very few that I can confide in without adverse judgement. And even those do not (can't) understand, but at least they support. My youngest sister is adopted and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (she is 25 now), so my mom understands and always backs us up on discipline and everything else, which I am truly grateful for. Unfortunately, my sisters don't feel the same way and in addition, are very lenient with their kids, which only adds to the feeling that we are too strict. I miss the closeness that we used to have (we still get together, but not as often or for as long), but it is what we have to do for our own sanity and the benefit of the twins.</p><p>I think what saddens me most is that I hear from the few close friends that others are discussing our parenting behind our backs, without giving us the chance to explain. (The twins' really only act up at home, so the problems are not apparent to most.) It has led to much better understanding when people have spoken directly to us and we have been able to tell them exactly what the problems are and why we handle things the way we do. If only everyone would be as honest!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="navineja, post: 112868, member: 4278"] been there done that too. I used to talk to my friends and family about the problems I have with the kids, since they all have kids and I thought that I could get advice. Big mistake most of the time! I have found that there are very few that I can confide in without adverse judgement. And even those do not (can't) understand, but at least they support. My youngest sister is adopted and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (she is 25 now), so my mom understands and always backs us up on discipline and everything else, which I am truly grateful for. Unfortunately, my sisters don't feel the same way and in addition, are very lenient with their kids, which only adds to the feeling that we are too strict. I miss the closeness that we used to have (we still get together, but not as often or for as long), but it is what we have to do for our own sanity and the benefit of the twins. I think what saddens me most is that I hear from the few close friends that others are discussing our parenting behind our backs, without giving us the chance to explain. (The twins' really only act up at home, so the problems are not apparent to most.) It has led to much better understanding when people have spoken directly to us and we have been able to tell them exactly what the problems are and why we handle things the way we do. If only everyone would be as honest! [/QUOTE]
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