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General Parenting
Am I a bad mom?
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<blockquote data-quote="'Chelle" data-source="post: 90813" data-attributes="member: 1161"><p>Bad mom? My answer --- NO!!! You work with what you have, and at the time that is what you believed her diagnosis was. You're here looking for more help and support for yourself and her. You continue to search for what will help her grow. in my opinion that's what a good mom does. Try not to beat yourself up over trying things that didn't work, or going with a doctor who you trust should know. We have to continue to try new things until we do find the thing that does work. I don't think treating her for those disorders would have done her harm, other than medications may not have been needed. You work to correct the behaviors they display, and her behaviors aren't any different no matter what the label. The correct label can point to strategies that work better.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child had no diagnosis from age 7 to 10, though I did take him to tdocs and psychiatrist, and therapist continued right until 14. The schools said it was all behavioral and treated him as such. Things were just going from bad to worse and I started looking for any kind of help. The therapist mentioned maybe ODD, googled that and found this site. After reading here and advice from members, I finally decided this is not right, had him reassessed, and he got his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) diagnosis just before he turned 11. It turned out that everything the school did was the wrong thing. With the diagnosis and proper approach, he's doing so much better. Still struggles with school, he will always detest it, but at least now he goes and tries and doesn't have meltdowns that cause him to be sent home 3 out of 5 days. I have had a few times where I've said to myself "if only I'd done this..." but not too many. Can't change the past, and difficult child is ok, despite any mistakes I made.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="'Chelle, post: 90813, member: 1161"] Bad mom? My answer --- NO!!! You work with what you have, and at the time that is what you believed her diagnosis was. You're here looking for more help and support for yourself and her. You continue to search for what will help her grow. in my opinion that's what a good mom does. Try not to beat yourself up over trying things that didn't work, or going with a doctor who you trust should know. We have to continue to try new things until we do find the thing that does work. I don't think treating her for those disorders would have done her harm, other than medications may not have been needed. You work to correct the behaviors they display, and her behaviors aren't any different no matter what the label. The correct label can point to strategies that work better. My difficult child had no diagnosis from age 7 to 10, though I did take him to tdocs and psychiatrist, and therapist continued right until 14. The schools said it was all behavioral and treated him as such. Things were just going from bad to worse and I started looking for any kind of help. The therapist mentioned maybe ODD, googled that and found this site. After reading here and advice from members, I finally decided this is not right, had him reassessed, and he got his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) diagnosis just before he turned 11. It turned out that everything the school did was the wrong thing. With the diagnosis and proper approach, he's doing so much better. Still struggles with school, he will always detest it, but at least now he goes and tries and doesn't have meltdowns that cause him to be sent home 3 out of 5 days. I have had a few times where I've said to myself "if only I'd done this..." but not too many. Can't change the past, and difficult child is ok, despite any mistakes I made. [/QUOTE]
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