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Am I a Meddling Mom? Sorry it's long
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<blockquote data-quote="FlowerGarden" data-source="post: 132026" data-attributes="member: 3068"><p>Yes, dance lessons to get difficult child to quit soccer! And yes, being a teen, he feels she's the one. The doctor and clinician in the hospital tried to work with him on realizing that it's a vicious cycle that the two of them have going. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child has had problems since he was 4. He has a tendency to get attached. We had a lot of deaths in a short period of time and the doctor feels that impacted him. I had a hard time getting him to go to preschool. Luckily through attending his brother's ball games, he made friend's with a boy who was going to preschool in another town, & difficult child asked if he could go to his school. Even signing up for sports, etc. he needed the support of having that friend there until he was 10. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I didn't yell at her. I was talking over his crying that "he needs her in his life" and "she's the only one that helps me", "she doesn't understand that we can see each other when I get home from the program" and "take me home now so I can talk with her. I can't do the program because I need her in my life". Her opinion is that I yelled at her. I'm driving on a highway during the beginning of rush hour, have difficult child crying so that I couldn't even understand everything he was saying, and trying to talk to her to find out what was going on and why.</p><p></p><p>His girlfriend does have her own issues. Her mom is an alcoholic. They fight constantly. She was thrown out of the house and told to go find another place to live for a week but then they let her come home that night. She is a manipulator. I believe she was embarassed that I got on the phone to speak to her and afraid that I would talk to her parents, so she went running to say that I was yelling at her. She's the "victim" and runs to daddy.</p><p></p><p>He is very open about things and knows he needs help. As most teens his age, he doesn't want to be there. He has been making very good strides since he came home from the hospital. He is becoming more aware of how to deal with situations and his responsibilities. He has wonderful support at school from the staff. </p><p></p><p>I try not to cross the line and tell him what to do. What I do try is to get him calm and present different choices/outcomes. I do make mistakes by crossing that line sometimes but that I'm working on it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FlowerGarden, post: 132026, member: 3068"] Yes, dance lessons to get difficult child to quit soccer! And yes, being a teen, he feels she's the one. The doctor and clinician in the hospital tried to work with him on realizing that it's a vicious cycle that the two of them have going. My difficult child has had problems since he was 4. He has a tendency to get attached. We had a lot of deaths in a short period of time and the doctor feels that impacted him. I had a hard time getting him to go to preschool. Luckily through attending his brother's ball games, he made friend's with a boy who was going to preschool in another town, & difficult child asked if he could go to his school. Even signing up for sports, etc. he needed the support of having that friend there until he was 10. I didn't yell at her. I was talking over his crying that "he needs her in his life" and "she's the only one that helps me", "she doesn't understand that we can see each other when I get home from the program" and "take me home now so I can talk with her. I can't do the program because I need her in my life". Her opinion is that I yelled at her. I'm driving on a highway during the beginning of rush hour, have difficult child crying so that I couldn't even understand everything he was saying, and trying to talk to her to find out what was going on and why. His girlfriend does have her own issues. Her mom is an alcoholic. They fight constantly. She was thrown out of the house and told to go find another place to live for a week but then they let her come home that night. She is a manipulator. I believe she was embarassed that I got on the phone to speak to her and afraid that I would talk to her parents, so she went running to say that I was yelling at her. She's the "victim" and runs to daddy. He is very open about things and knows he needs help. As most teens his age, he doesn't want to be there. He has been making very good strides since he came home from the hospital. He is becoming more aware of how to deal with situations and his responsibilities. He has wonderful support at school from the staff. I try not to cross the line and tell him what to do. What I do try is to get him calm and present different choices/outcomes. I do make mistakes by crossing that line sometimes but that I'm working on it! [/QUOTE]
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