Am I being overly sensitive?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mum2JK&TH, Feb 20, 2007.

  1. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    difficult child came home yesterday and told me that he had an argument with his teacher about his pill. He had a rough morning getting settled so his teacher felt the need to telling him he didn't take his pill. Which he responded to correctly by telling her he did. She continued to disagree with him. For some reason this really ticked me off. I mean, he is a child! He is going to have off days even with medications. It is not a miracle drug and does not make perfect children! I found her comment to him very demeaning, am I being to sensitive? I wrote her a note telling her how I felt but I am questioning if I am overreacting.
     
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She handled it wrong for sure. A simple question of 'did you remember to take your pill?' is OK. If the child says yes, you take a different route and see if something else is bugging them, or not enough sleep, no breakfast, etc. She should not have called him a liar.
     
  3. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    I'd agree that she handled it incorrectly, for sure. If she had a concern that he may have missed his medications, she should have directed it to the school nurse, who could have checked in with you. Period. in my humble opinion, anyway.

    We once had a teachers' aide ask our difficult child if he had taken his medications. When he said he had, she told him that maybe he "should have taken two pills". I was furious, but didn't write to the aide - I spoke with the principal.

    I have a real issue with how much and what type of comments teachers make to all children. Who is teaching the teachers?? :hammer:
     
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Christine, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I personally don't think any teacher should be discussing medications with any child at any point. It is up to the teacher to ask the parent if she believes there is a problem. Furthermore, any decisions about medications should only involve the doctor, the parent and the child. Teachers don't have medical degrees.
     
  5. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    That's my frustration exactly On Call. Between last weeks head incident and now arguing with him about medications, who is teaching these teachers??!! I am so tired of playing the bad and bothersome mother. How do you teach these kids to have respect when the teachers are disrespectful?? Is this not logic? The kid has feelings and it really bothered him that she talked to him about his medications, he hates taking them as it is.

    Thanks guys, the note stays.
     
  6. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    I would be mad, and nervous. Our shcool asked my dtr and did not elieve her nor did they believe me and called CPS to complain and say they did not believe we were administering the medications at all.
     
  7. Barbara

    Barbara New Member

    You're not being over sensitive at all, When I was teacher we were told we were not allowed to ask about a child's medications. If a parent volunteers info that's one thing, but medication is private as per Hippa laws. You have every right to be upset.
     
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Christine,

    Time to call a meeting of the minds. Ms Teacher shouldn't be discussing this with your difficult child. If there is a concern then it needs to be addressed with you.

    Talk about putting a kid on the burner. Geeez. :slap:
     
  9. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    No teacher has any right to ask a child if he took his pill when the child is only 9. I hope she did not ask where the other kids could hear. How embarassing to the child
     
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like the teacher was having a rough morning, too. My difficult child teacher once told him, in front of the class, "I can see why you have to take medicine. You need to settle down!" If I'd been there I would have shot her. That's supposed to be confidential stuff. We still haven't had time to meet with-her and talk to her about that
    Perhaps your difficult child could have suggested calling you?
     
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    YOU are most certainly not over-reacting. She has no right to say ONE word about his medicine. If she has a question regarding his medications, then she needs to discuss it with you, not a child. What if he now refuses his medications, because the teacher said that. I would raise holy h-ll with that teacher over that.
     
  12. MyGoosesMom

    MyGoosesMom New Member

    You are not being overly sensitive at all!! Was it done in a non-confidential manner? If not, that is highly inappropriate.
    Also, I agree that asking a 9 yo to confirm and then not believe them is ridiculous. My Goose will say, "I think so"...and then I can normally go home and locate the pill. Lately, his bad days have been bad regardless of medication and getting the teacher to understand how the brain works with the medication is impossible.
    I am 100% supportive of the way you feel...you are on target.
     
  13. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    I would just like to offer a word of caution. Believing the version that difficult child brings home isn't always the way it actually was.

    I would certainly inquire about the incident but try to take the emotionalism out of it. She didn't do anything to him but maybe (and I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt) she needs to be reminded that he is 9. If she has questions about medication they should be aimed at you. You are only a phone call away. If this conversation was in class the issue of embarrassment would concern me. difficult child doesn't need to feel any more different than he already does.

    Remind teacher that you are as vigilant about your difficult child's medications as she is about teaching. Put yourselves on equal footing and talk to each other like equal adults who are working together to help difficult child learn.
    I would also ask her if she has any suggestions on how this conversation can be avoided in the future. Does she want a note or a check mark in the planner or a tat2 on difficult child forehead to let her know the medications were given.
     
  14. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Well, I'll agree with Fran on the believability of difficult child, too. Dylan loves to make things bigger than they really are.

    However, I also believe that teachers, in general, for some reason are relying more and more on medications. Talking to our psychiatrist, our therapists, and other parents of many different school districts, it seems that the teachers are pushing harder and harder.

    This, to me, seems like a huge problem in itself. I (being the outspoken big mouth I am) would put the teacher in her place immediately. Even IF difficult child is making this bigger than it was, she has no place, ever, in any situation (unless you're in the hospital comatose) to ask him if he's taken anything.

    Geez.

    Janna
     
  15. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    Fran, you sound like my husband, haha, and yes I had to take into consideration if I was getting all of the truth. I was more just upset because the question was raised period. I am sure difficult child was trying to get some rise out of it with me (he knows I am a big advocate for him) which is why I didn't call her yesterday as soon as he told me. It is more a matter of I don't think it is appropriate to be asking him. I am horrible at jumping to conclusions and going for the attack. Great advice.

    I agree Janna that teachers are relying far to much on the medications and forgetting that a little respect goes a long way. I think that's why it bothers me so much. If they are having an off day, it's automatically "you didn't take your pill". However anyone else is inclined to just have a simple off day. When will they realize, the medications help them, not mold them! This is our job as parents and teachers.

    It all comes down to lack of information, it's a real shame.
     
  16. needabreak

    needabreak New Member

    i would defintly be upset.and probley be down at the school right now.teachers have no right to ask that unless you as the parent ask them to.cause even with medications there are not going to be perfect day.i should know.i would ask for a meeting and make sure this does not happen again.good luck.
     
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