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Substance Abuse
Am I enabling by feeding my son?
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<blockquote data-quote="Woriedmom" data-source="post: 629011" data-attributes="member: 18061"><p>My 20 yr.old finally text me back last night. He didn't want anything ...at first he just replied with a question mark when I said "I didn't see you". He probably thought I went looking for him at his job. I went on to ask in the text if he had gotten high since Sunday...just to be honest within himself, I knew he'd lie to me ...so I told him only he knows the answer and if he has....then he needs to be honest within himself and realize "I do have a problem". He made a wise crack in the text like friends do with each other all the time. My son is a natural born comedian and makes me laugh all the time but it's always been my mistake to raise him with no boundaries. My husband always says to me "it's my fault he is the way he is". It is true that you can't raise your kids like your friends...or if you do you have to first be their parent. Yes, I cannot help it ...I can't get rid of this guilt I have for enabling him. Now that he is gone I can look back and realize how much damage I did within the last few years. Sure he has to take responsibility for his choosing of doing drugs but I also unknowingly made decisions that lead to enabling his behavior. I am now left not only with a broken heart but a tremendous amount of guilt. Again, only now that he is gone ...I realize I have been co dependent all along.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/heart-borken.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":heart-borken:" title="heart-borken :heart-borken:" data-shortname=":heart-borken:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Woriedmom, post: 629011, member: 18061"] My 20 yr.old finally text me back last night. He didn't want anything ...at first he just replied with a question mark when I said "I didn't see you". He probably thought I went looking for him at his job. I went on to ask in the text if he had gotten high since Sunday...just to be honest within himself, I knew he'd lie to me ...so I told him only he knows the answer and if he has....then he needs to be honest within himself and realize "I do have a problem". He made a wise crack in the text like friends do with each other all the time. My son is a natural born comedian and makes me laugh all the time but it's always been my mistake to raise him with no boundaries. My husband always says to me "it's my fault he is the way he is". It is true that you can't raise your kids like your friends...or if you do you have to first be their parent. Yes, I cannot help it ...I can't get rid of this guilt I have for enabling him. Now that he is gone I can look back and realize how much damage I did within the last few years. Sure he has to take responsibility for his choosing of doing drugs but I also unknowingly made decisions that lead to enabling his behavior. I am now left not only with a broken heart but a tremendous amount of guilt. Again, only now that he is gone ...I realize I have been co dependent all along.:heart-borken: [/QUOTE]
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Am I enabling by feeding my son?
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