Am I going nuts??

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by phantomphixerswife, Jan 31, 2008.

  1. phantomphixerswife

    phantomphixerswife jazzys nana

    I HAVE GOT TO BELIEVE THAT I AM NOT GOING NUTS. I KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT ANYWAY. I AM A 50 YEAR OLD WOMAN THAT FEELS THAT I AM ABOUT TO BE PUSHED OUT THE FRONT DOOR OF MY HOME BY MY 6 YEAR OLD GRAND-DAUGHTER. MY HUSBAND AND I TOOK ON THE TASK WILLINGLY OF RAISING THIS BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL WHEN SHE WAS ONLY 6 WEEKS OLD. WHEN SHE WAS 2 SHE HIT THOSE "TERRIBLE 2s" HARD AND HEAVY. WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR HER TO "GROW OUT OF IT". WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HANDLE THINGS ON OUR OWN AND FINALLY CONVINCED HER MOTHER THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG. SINCE WE DO NOT HAVE LEGAL CUSTODY HER MOTHER HAS BEEN HAVING TO TAKE HER TO doctors THAT ONLY DEAL WITH MEDICADE. WHAT A DISASTER THAT HAS BEEN. WE HAVE FINALLY CONVINCED HER MOTHER TO GIVE US CUSTODY SO THAT WE CAN GET HER ON OUR INSURANCE AND GET HER INTO SOME DOCTOR THAT WILL DO MORE THAN SEE US ONCE A MONTH FOR 15 MINUTES. THATS LONG ENOUGH TO CHECK HER WEIGHT AND HEIGHT AND WRITE OUT A SCRIPT FOR ONE
    MORE MONTHS WORTH OF medications.
    WE WERE TOLD SHE HAS ADHD. BUT WE SEE SOMETHING MORE. WE HAVE BEEN READING AND READING AND CAME ACROSS THE ODD. THIS DESCRIBES THIS LITTLE GIRL TO A T. I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST MAD AT THE WORLD AND HATED ME BECAUSE SHE CANT BE WITH HER MOM. SHE TELLS ME ON A REGULAR BASIS THAT SHE HATES BE BECAUSE I MAKE HER DO HOMEWORK,EAT HER MEALS,PICK UP HER TOYS,TAKE A BATH, ALL THE STUFF IM SUPPOSED TO DO.
    LAST NIGHT SHE HAD ME SITTING ON THE FLOOR CRYING AND ASKING MYSELF WHY IM PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THIS. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO AND SOMEONE TO CONVINCE ME THAT WE CAN GET OUR LITTLE GIRL THROUGH THIS AND HELP HER BECOME A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO REACH HER. I FEEL LIKE A REALLY BAD PARENT.
     
  2. mamaskaden

    mamaskaden New Member

    I just signed up to the site myself.
    I could have just written that, except the part of being the grandparent.
    My son has finally been diagnosed. ODD with ADHD with some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
    He is very defiant, and can put me into tears almost every night after he goes to bed.
    I hope someone here has an answer for you (and me).
    No you are not going crazy, but in case you are... I'll meet you there in a minute!
     
  3. phantomphixerswife

    phantomphixerswife jazzys nana

    YOU HAVE MADE ME LAUGH, THATS SOMETHING I HAVE NOT DONE IN A VERY LONG TIME. ITS NICE TO KNOW THAT IF I GO NUTS AT LEAST I WONT BE LONELY. THANK YOU.
     
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi,

    and welcome this is a really great place to be. you aren't going crazy and you will get your little girl through this.

    did they prescribe any medications for the adhd?

    Jen
     
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    and one more thing i thought of i will tell you what many here have suggested to me and i am taking their advice which is so so invaluable as of late a neuropsychologist. its' a more intense type of testing. i haven't gone thru it yet so i'm not sure exactly what it entails but id' say that's a good place to start.

    Jen
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome.
    Are there are psychiatric problems (mood disorders) or neurological problems or substance abuse on either side of the family tree?
    ODD very rarely stands alone and is usually just a symptom of a bigger problem.
    I highly recommend a neuropsychologist examination. THey are very intensive evaluators in a way that no other professionals are. It's best not to try to diagnose based on reading symptoms of a disorder. Most disorders have similar symptoms. I'd take her in. It sounds like lots more than ADHD to me. Good luck :)
     
  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Welcome to our site. You will find understanding and help here.

    I'd recommend that all adults working with your granddaughter read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. There are usually many small things to do that can reduce frustration.
     
  8. phantomphixerswife

    phantomphixerswife jazzys nana

    Hi , Thank You All For Your Input, I Really Do Appreciate It All. J Has Been To A Clinic For Over A Year Now. She Was Put On medications For Adhd. She Is Currently Taking 15 Mg Of Adderall. And Has Recently Been Put On 1mg Of Guanfacine. It Has Helpedher Keep Focused In School. At One Point The School Was Ready To Toss Her Out. The Asst Principal Even Suggested That We Might Want To Have Her Commited Under The Baker Act. I Wanted To Cry. The Teacher Says Things In The Classroom Have Greatly Improved With The medications.
    As Far As Medical History I Know Her Mother Was Commited To A Mental Hospital For Kids When She Was About 10 Or 11. My Husband And Her Mother Were Divorced And The Ex Wife Moved And Never Let Him Know Her Whereabouts. He Never Knew About All Of The Issues Until Many Years Later. We Lived Overseas And Never Had A Clue. From What We Know Jazs Mom Was A Real Mess And Had Serious Emotional Issues. To This Very Day She Deals With Being Bi-polar. Thats Why We Have Jaz, Her Mom Is Just A Mess.
    As For Jazs Dad, We Have No Idea. He Has Never Met His Daughter And Most Likely Never Will. He Has Drug Issues And Is Currently In Jail. If We Have Anything To Say About It He Will Never Come Close To Jaz. Thats The Last Thing We Need.
    Hopefully We Can Get This Custody Issue Into The Courts And Get Her On Some Insurance Soon.
    The Last 2 Days Have Been Very Good. Jaz Has Been Co-operative And Has Not Had Any Outburst Or Meltdowns. Its Actually Been A Pleasure To Be Around Her. I Feel Guilty Not Feeling That Way More Often. I Love Her And Just Want To Get Her The Help She Deserves. She Is Snuggled Up Against Me Right Now And Is Falling Asleep. All Seems Well In Jazzyland.
     
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi! I know it is really really hard to have a kid with the kind of problems we all face. At least all of us here. I am SO glad you are here. I hate that you need us, but I am glad you can join us as you do need us.

    The people on here are great - lots of support, advice, and even more caring.

    I would say that she needs more intensive testing, a neuropsychologist is good, a developmental pediatrician is also good.

    As she is on adderall, it may have worn off in the evenings. As it wears off, the symptoms it treats come back, usually harder than normal for a while, kind of like a spring bouncing back. It is called the "rebound effect" or "bounceback". And it is really hard to deal with.

    There is a report many of us have done that saves a lot of effort and trouble in remembering everything. It is called a Parent Report, and it is in the General Archives, at the bottom of the very last page. If you go to forums, then to General Archives, then click on the last page number, then scroll to the bottom you will find it. It was so important it was the first thing put in the archives.

    This report helps you organize everything you have gone through, your hopes and dreams, all medical stuff, testing, everything. If you start on it and work in small chunks it is pretty manageable.

    Once you have it done then you can take it (in a 3 ring binder, with a few xeroxed copies in a pocket inside it) to the doctor's, school meetings, etc..... You can give copies to the many professionals you will encounter over the next ??? years, and you can give the schools what info you want them to have.

    I hope it is not hard to get into a judge, it shouldn't be too hard if mom is willing.

    I think you will eventually find it is more than ADHD. Most of us start with the ADHD diagnosis, and find it is something else along the way. ODD rarely stands alone, it is usually a symptom of something else.

    Hugs,

    Susie

    ps. You are wonderful for taking on raising a granddau, and for fighting for her. Be sure you and your husband make time for your marriage - get a sitter, whatever. Kids like ours are heck on a marriage.
     
  10. Lulu

    Lulu New Member

    Just wanted to give you some hugs and support.
     
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