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Am I horrible?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 609574" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>svengandhi you said that so well. </p><p></p><p>Janet, Monkey needs it explained to her this deal of different parents. None of you have any control over what Mouse's mom does/plans/buys, just as no one has control over what Monkey's mom does/plans/buys for her. Doesn't mean one child is loved more than another, just means they have different mothers and other family members. Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p> I had to really work on this area between katie and her siblings on both sides. She was jealous of the obvious tight knit family life and involved mother they had and they were a jealous in young childhood that she seemed to get everything she wanted. When Katie was in our home they were <strong>always</strong> on equal footing. They all had chores, they all followed the same rules, they all got attention / interaction as I'd normally do. While this doesn't sound like much.......it was this equal footing time that made it possible for them to forge their relationships. Had I tried to overcompensate for the fact that Katie had no family life in any real sense at home and suffered the absence of her dad, it would've fostered jealousy and resentment with her siblings. </p><p></p><p>You and Monkey are so close because she needed a mother figure and you filled that role for her, regardless of reasons. Mouse, for different reasons, needs you to step in for her sake as well. However, by doing so you're not just stepping in for Mouse.......but for Monkey too. These girls are sisters. (half or not they're still <strong>sisters</strong>) They were robbed of the opportunity to develop a loving relationship when Monkey's mom took off with her. Not Monkey's fault, not Mouse's fault, not Daddy's fault, or anyone's but Monkey's mother's fault. </p><p></p><p>You can't change what decisions the parents of these girls make along the way. But you can be the buffer that eases the pain it may bring, offer explanations so they can better understand instead of taking it personally, and be the love that help binds them together while being the stability in their lives.</p><p></p><p>Mouse is still young enough you could easily form as strong a bond with her as you have with Monkey. Don't worry about the "things", material things don't mean anything, it's the love they want, both of them. </p><p></p><p>Being a grandparent can be a blessing, but there are other times when it is very hard. </p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 609574, member: 84"] svengandhi you said that so well. Janet, Monkey needs it explained to her this deal of different parents. None of you have any control over what Mouse's mom does/plans/buys, just as no one has control over what Monkey's mom does/plans/buys for her. Doesn't mean one child is loved more than another, just means they have different mothers and other family members. Know what I mean?? I had to really work on this area between katie and her siblings on both sides. She was jealous of the obvious tight knit family life and involved mother they had and they were a jealous in young childhood that she seemed to get everything she wanted. When Katie was in our home they were [B]always[/B] on equal footing. They all had chores, they all followed the same rules, they all got attention / interaction as I'd normally do. While this doesn't sound like much.......it was this equal footing time that made it possible for them to forge their relationships. Had I tried to overcompensate for the fact that Katie had no family life in any real sense at home and suffered the absence of her dad, it would've fostered jealousy and resentment with her siblings. You and Monkey are so close because she needed a mother figure and you filled that role for her, regardless of reasons. Mouse, for different reasons, needs you to step in for her sake as well. However, by doing so you're not just stepping in for Mouse.......but for Monkey too. These girls are sisters. (half or not they're still [B]sisters[/B]) They were robbed of the opportunity to develop a loving relationship when Monkey's mom took off with her. Not Monkey's fault, not Mouse's fault, not Daddy's fault, or anyone's but Monkey's mother's fault. You can't change what decisions the parents of these girls make along the way. But you can be the buffer that eases the pain it may bring, offer explanations so they can better understand instead of taking it personally, and be the love that help binds them together while being the stability in their lives. Mouse is still young enough you could easily form as strong a bond with her as you have with Monkey. Don't worry about the "things", material things don't mean anything, it's the love they want, both of them. Being a grandparent can be a blessing, but there are other times when it is very hard. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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