Am I Horrible?

[susiestar]

I have spoken with them about this in the past. I get this blank look like they don't know what I mean, then they say of course I am welcome in the family, blah blah blah and ten seconds later they are back to acting as if I either don't exist or I am not worthy of anything. I have bent over backward to fit in, but nothing is good enough.

A confrontation is simply ineffective with husband's family, as is an open, honest conversation. So now, I am going to just do my best to stay home. It isn't like I haven't had a migraine on every major holiday for most of my life.

Oh, and the migraines are not due to repressing feelings. They are due to several medical conditions and a very long ugly family history of migraines. I just got the worst of it and become tolerant of the medications to prevent migraines very rapidly. I get them regardless of emotional stress and/or upset.

 

[GuideMe]

Hey susie, and of course, I never knew if you ever talked to them about it or not. Now I know.

I know all about severe migraines. I was the youngest one diagnosed in my city at the time with migraines at 6 years old. I suffered immensely with migraines through out my life. I understand your suffering.

Oh and Susie, you didn't say on who you admitted it to? I assumed you meant husband. Not sure though....

 

[pasajes4]

We are who we are. They are who they are. Sometimes people just don't mesh. It happens. I don't get my feelings hurt if someone does not like me. I will be cordial for the length of time I am in their presence. If they can't do that, that's on them. Go or stay home. Do what feels right for you.

 

[BusynMember]

I have spoken with them about this in the past. I get this blank look like they don't know what I mean, then they say of course I am welcome in the family, blah blah blah and ten seconds later they are back to acting as if I either don't exist or I am not worthy of anything. I have bent over backward to fit in, but nothing is good enough.
A confrontation is simply ineffective with husband's family, as is an open, honest conversation. So now, I am going to just do my best to stay home. It isn't like I haven't had a migraine on every major holiday for most of my life.
Oh, and the migraines are not due to repressing feelings. They are due to several medical conditions and a very long ugly family history of migraines. I just got the worst of it and become tolerant of the medications to prevent migraines very rapidly. I get them regardless of emotional stress and/or upset.

That's why I never did it. I did try, but not in an angry way. It was clear right away that it was not going to be effective. I tried on my mother, my sister and my brother. None of them were even listening before a finger shot out and I heard "YOU." You can not confront people who won't even listen.

Now about God. My own belief system would tell me that God would not send a message to us to get angry and confront those who hurt us. I've been a Christian (tried out a few religions) and did the Bible not say "Turn the other cheek?" I would maybe ask myself if it was really God you were talking to or what you wish God would tell you. That is a private matter. If you truly believe it came from God, that is between you and Him and you do what you must do. this is not to answer here