lovemysons
Well-Known Member
As you all know...Young difficult child comes home on Monday. His wife is picking him up from Prison with their newest baby girl Jordyn. It will be a 10 hr roundtrip drive for daughter in law. They will probably get here sometime Monday night.
I'm trying to figure out...what to say, what to do, and at the same time...I resent even the mere thought that I might walk on egg shells again at the hands of my young difficult child.
First off...It will be my responsibility to get up by 5am and take young difficult child to work at least Monday through Friday if not Saturday and Sunday as well...See oldest difficult child where young difficult child will be working, works this hard!
Then there's the sale of the house...It MUST be ready when a showing is scheduled. Young difficult child is messy, Terribly messy. You generally can "tell where he's been".
I resent having to "hide knives, blades, etc". I resent that I must be the parent to face the PO when she shows up...Like she DID yesterday afternoon as the first "Prospective buyers" looking at our home were driving away. G-d help me. I don't want to be the parent of a convicted Felon. I don't want to go to the PO's office with him. I don't want to stay up at night monitoring his behavior. Dear L-rd...He's almost 24 yrs old.
He is NOT a baby...and I have stop thinking of him that way. I have to let him grow up and make his choices and pay his consequences!!!
I hope I am strong enough to do this. Just to absolutely let go.
I will call the police or PO if he brings alcohol or drugs into our home again (trying to convince myself). I will call 911 if he gets suicidal again (again, trying to convince myself). I will not sheild him this time from HIS consequences.
And...I SO HOPE I don't have to do these things.
And...there are his children. All 3 of them. daughter in law has been telling their middle daughter that "Daddy will be home for your Birthday (she will be 3) December 21st". They are all counting on him to do the right things...to work hard, to stay sober, to make/save money so that they can have their own place..."and live happily ever after".
And of course, it's not just me...daughter in law's mother who daughter in law and the grandkids have lived with for over a year now, she too is filled with anxiety. daughter in law told me that she said the other day, "You can tell you know who is coming back into the picture as you are starting to get evil with me again".
And on top of it all...I have been having some "female issues" lately. Think it's menapause, one minute nothing (for like 3 months) and now practically hemmoraging. The sale of the house, on pins and needles...First showing the comments afterward were that it is "priced to high" and they didn't like the "interior".
PO is coming tomorrow to install monitoring equipment for young difficult child's ankle bracelet.
I guess everyone in my family "thinks" I can do this...I can handle it. But I told my mom today, "In all honesty, If I have another psychotic breakdown like I did 5 1/2 yrs ago that they will then know that I am not strong enough...that I can't be pushed this hard."
Maybe I am worrying for nothing...and I know AA/Al Anon would tell me not to project, to trust, not to enable...but to allow consequences. It is so hard...
I hope I AM strong enough. I need to be...I really really do.
LMS
I'm trying to figure out...what to say, what to do, and at the same time...I resent even the mere thought that I might walk on egg shells again at the hands of my young difficult child.
First off...It will be my responsibility to get up by 5am and take young difficult child to work at least Monday through Friday if not Saturday and Sunday as well...See oldest difficult child where young difficult child will be working, works this hard!
Then there's the sale of the house...It MUST be ready when a showing is scheduled. Young difficult child is messy, Terribly messy. You generally can "tell where he's been".
I resent having to "hide knives, blades, etc". I resent that I must be the parent to face the PO when she shows up...Like she DID yesterday afternoon as the first "Prospective buyers" looking at our home were driving away. G-d help me. I don't want to be the parent of a convicted Felon. I don't want to go to the PO's office with him. I don't want to stay up at night monitoring his behavior. Dear L-rd...He's almost 24 yrs old.
He is NOT a baby...and I have stop thinking of him that way. I have to let him grow up and make his choices and pay his consequences!!!
I hope I am strong enough to do this. Just to absolutely let go.
I will call the police or PO if he brings alcohol or drugs into our home again (trying to convince myself). I will call 911 if he gets suicidal again (again, trying to convince myself). I will not sheild him this time from HIS consequences.
And...I SO HOPE I don't have to do these things.
And...there are his children. All 3 of them. daughter in law has been telling their middle daughter that "Daddy will be home for your Birthday (she will be 3) December 21st". They are all counting on him to do the right things...to work hard, to stay sober, to make/save money so that they can have their own place..."and live happily ever after".
And of course, it's not just me...daughter in law's mother who daughter in law and the grandkids have lived with for over a year now, she too is filled with anxiety. daughter in law told me that she said the other day, "You can tell you know who is coming back into the picture as you are starting to get evil with me again".
And on top of it all...I have been having some "female issues" lately. Think it's menapause, one minute nothing (for like 3 months) and now practically hemmoraging. The sale of the house, on pins and needles...First showing the comments afterward were that it is "priced to high" and they didn't like the "interior".
PO is coming tomorrow to install monitoring equipment for young difficult child's ankle bracelet.
I guess everyone in my family "thinks" I can do this...I can handle it. But I told my mom today, "In all honesty, If I have another psychotic breakdown like I did 5 1/2 yrs ago that they will then know that I am not strong enough...that I can't be pushed this hard."
Maybe I am worrying for nothing...and I know AA/Al Anon would tell me not to project, to trust, not to enable...but to allow consequences. It is so hard...
I hope I AM strong enough. I need to be...I really really do.
LMS