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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 462504" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Feelings can't be "wrong", in my humble opinion. They just are and we have little control over them. Actions, on the other hand, are things we can control. That's where it gets tricky.</p><p></p><p>From reading your past posts I understand that he has been out of control and an imminent danger. Truthfully I have never lived with those symptoms so I can sympathize but not empathize. on the other hand I honestly can understand his anger and disappointment. Unexpected changes always have hit my difficult child's hard. All three counted on my word "like death and taxes" and the youngest in particular fell apart when anything prevented the plan from being followed.</p><p>So...your difficult child "knew" that you were coming. He probably knew about what time. Probably biggest of all he knew you were bringing his game boy which likely was greatly anticipated. Bottom line is he was not able to accept that all the things he had counted on were not going to happen...therefore he lashed out. For difficult child's I think that was a "normal" and "logical" reaction. The fact that he called a second time indicates that he was discombobulated.</p><p></p><p>Whether you go visit or not is your decision completely. You'll get full support here as always but, in my humble opinion, I think you need to go, acknowledge his disappointment with-o a long protracted conversation about it, give him his game boy and have the visit be as long or as short as you are comfortable with. Then, I'd suggest, don't make a specific committment as to when you will come next or for how long. That way you'll be able to see how you feel in a week or two and figure out what the best course is for future visits.</p><p></p><p>There, lol, how's that for a "book" of a response! My thoughts and support are with you. Hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 462504, member: 35"] Feelings can't be "wrong", in my humble opinion. They just are and we have little control over them. Actions, on the other hand, are things we can control. That's where it gets tricky. From reading your past posts I understand that he has been out of control and an imminent danger. Truthfully I have never lived with those symptoms so I can sympathize but not empathize. on the other hand I honestly can understand his anger and disappointment. Unexpected changes always have hit my difficult child's hard. All three counted on my word "like death and taxes" and the youngest in particular fell apart when anything prevented the plan from being followed. So...your difficult child "knew" that you were coming. He probably knew about what time. Probably biggest of all he knew you were bringing his game boy which likely was greatly anticipated. Bottom line is he was not able to accept that all the things he had counted on were not going to happen...therefore he lashed out. For difficult child's I think that was a "normal" and "logical" reaction. The fact that he called a second time indicates that he was discombobulated. Whether you go visit or not is your decision completely. You'll get full support here as always but, in my humble opinion, I think you need to go, acknowledge his disappointment with-o a long protracted conversation about it, give him his game boy and have the visit be as long or as short as you are comfortable with. Then, I'd suggest, don't make a specific committment as to when you will come next or for how long. That way you'll be able to see how you feel in a week or two and figure out what the best course is for future visits. There, lol, how's that for a "book" of a response! My thoughts and support are with you. Hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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