southernmomma
New Member
It's amazing how things come out when you start something. I went yesterday to start difficult child in therapy as suggested by his pediatrician. But, I've already posted that great trek. On the suggestion of the therapist, she thought that I could benefit from therapy myself. Well, I had already planned on doing just that, but was searching for one that I felt comfortable with. After a meltdown in her office, I agreed to have her as my therapist. She made me feel comfortable and was very easy to talk to. Not like some of the ones I'd been to in the past who seemed judgemental. Upon her advice, I went and saw my GP yesterday morning. I told him that I was ready to accept that I have depression and am ready to start treatment as needed. I had to take some kind of "Depression severety" test or something like that. I"m sure you all know what i'm talking about. Anyway, I figured I was maybe borderline depressed. At the most mildly. Well, the test came back as severely depressed. nice. I had no idea. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that things WERE harder than I figured. He started me on Lexapro 10 mgs. and .5 mgs of Xanax that I'm suppose to take PRN. After a full day on Lexapro, I am NOT digging the side effects. All day today I have been shaking like a leaf, it makes me extreamly tired, and sometimes kinda loopy. I'm sure it's the side effects and I'm going to give it a few days to see if they subside, but if they don't get any better, I might have to see if they can change either the dose (I think 10 mgs is the lowest...isn't it?) or change the type. I was on edge but at the same time calm. Crazy. I had a job interview this afternoon and that was the only time during the day i was acutally calm--and not shaking. It's like during non-stressful events (like cooking) I'm a nervous wreck, but during stressful events (like an interview..for a job that i REALLY REALLY REALLY want) I'm as cool as a cucumber. Is that normal??????? I go back on the 23rd for a session just focused on me and we're going to try and work with my difficult child through me. She's putting a list together of people/organizations that help out single parents--even though I'm not a single parent--that would give me some kind of relief system/help that i'm not getting from my family. Maybe something will come of it. I can only hope. Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest :smile: