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An Angry Vent about a doctor (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 359855" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>In general, after all these years doing this, I knew school had to provide the services if the child needed it, which is what I was pointing out to both the school and this doctor (who is a doctor -pediatric development and medicine specialist with degree). What I have been trying to do is "prove" she needs the service to the school via this doctor, as well as get this <em>point</em> across to the doctor that I need to prove this to the school. Not look for a particular <em>label</em> for her to access it but someway of proving it that I have apparently not been able to sufficiently to satisfy the schools criteria as of yet. Because I told her I have been doing this for so many years, advocating, working with others, etc.. all my knowledge is when she flat out asked if I had a degree in special education. No, of course not, most of us don't and we don't NEED one to do what we do! LOL</p><p></p><p>No Janet, not going to a developmental center. It's the dark blue flag up here but just learned that this particular place is actually an offshoot of the name sake they are using and not the actually Psychology department of it (go figure). That there is a whole department of people we should have been going to and not here. I'm beginning to wonder if all these people we have been using for all the difficult child's at this place aren't just rejects from the name sake! LOL Why else wouldn't they be working in the main facility and under the main name? The school you may be thinking of up here only takes the kids (boys and girls) until they are 12. She just aged out for it so can no longer attend and there was talk of it closing recently (in fact I'm not so sure they still aren't closing) and yes it is publicly funded. The light blue place, I've since learned is THE place I should have been going to as they are much more known for Pscyh stuff! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I didn't know. I came here and was lost. Back in PA I knew as much as you know about NC. I have no contacts and know no one down here, even still. Since we're going to be moving (and at this moment don't even have a clue where the heck that's going to be) I can't even do anything. The one thing I have decided is that I am NOT going back to this place with any of the difficult child after looking back over the last 3 years of care. We've gotten no where with them at all. In the past, we've at least gotten tiny steps in other places. In fact, here's a good one....oldest difficult child at 16 went to her therapist very frustrated over sibling difficult children behaviors being off the wall and she couldn't tolerate it. The advice given to her? The best thing she could do was to get out of house! Ok, so then mx emo decided at that time she wanted to consider being placed in <em>foster care</em>!!! What therapist would advocate splitting up a family rather then trying to help difficult child work through it (as she basically had no coping skills to begin with due to her OWN issues)? The sibling difficult children weren't getting adequate treatment that was helping them (which I was complaining about repeatedly to the facility). I kept telling them the medications weren't working for them as well and the psychiatrist wasn't properly addressing it and he as well wasn't keeping notes either on what or why we did things with different medications and put them back on medications that didn't work the first time even though I told him this anyway!</p><p></p><p>Ms queen has stumped everyone as to what really is all going on with her. The only FIRM diagnosis we have at this time with her is ADHD inattentive (the wind can blow and she's distracted) and severe ODD. For 5 years we've questioned BiPolar (BP) but some have thrown that out as well. She has mood fluctuations on a dime. She can be crying hysterically one minute like someone died and instantly stop and then be laughing just as hysterically. She shows inappropriate emotions at times, other times it is appropriate ( or is is mimick/faked? - we don't know). She lies terribly, steals to the point of klepto almost (no reasoning on some of the things she takes), steals food (including breaking into locked things), manipulates everyone (especially those that don't know her), overlying charming and sweet to those that don't know her so she is well liked, extremely immature and can't get along with peers and will play with kids light years younger then her, prefers and clings to adults, will listen to adults even if she is rooms away or upstairs (like sitting in her room sitting listening to all downstairs going on and do nothing while sitting there listening- or sit outside her sisters bedroom door listening when she has company), does not understand (or care?) about stranger danger what so ever, seems to be overtly sexual and notices things of a sexual nature (ex; a feminine commercial product - lady spins around and her dress twirls but you can't see anything, she mentions how "high" up it is, she will notice females cleavage and stare), she wants to be sitting on peoples lap if she can at 13 or as close to them as she possibly can get, she is overly "huggy" with many people including teachers or those she might have just met but when it comes to me, she is stand offish (she was attached to my hip practically the first year or more of her life due to birth defects/medical needs process we had to go through so we were close and she got lots of attention from all sources), she demands to be first for everything (in school and at home), things "must" be her way and does try to control the house overall (these are some of the reasons why Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) doesn't quite fit as well). When we first moved here, she went around the neighborhood the day we moved in and knocked on everyone's door (literally) to see if they had kids she could play with. Something you just don' t do!</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, prior to 4/5 years old she was nothing like this! She was always a sweet, lovable, charming child. A social butterfly (which she is now still but inappropriately so). At that age is when things started to slowly change, or at least when we started noticing things changing. They wanted to keep her back in k and almost every year since then but for wrong reasons at the time. I did allow and ask for it in 5th because she wasn't socially ready for 6th grade at all and they were going to fight me until she didn't make the end of grade testing to pass through. So getting back to some changes, she began by stealing food and hiding it in her bed (at time she shared a bedroom- now she doesn't and hasn't for 3 1/2 years). She also began the tantrums and rages and screaming. These things have only increased as has the lying now. Once we moved and as she has aged and has had to be more accountable for academics and older child normal things all these other things have stood out more because she wasn't capable of doing them (like the math, telling time, money, caring properly for herself, etc...).</p><p></p><p>Any yes, I have dealt with many doctors both for myself and difficult children being challanged with my knowledge. I have learned it's not the right mix when we can't be a team. For myself I leave the docs and usually for the kids too but in this case I thought I was at the right place, one of the best places and of course I've now learned a little more. It just goes to show how we do the best we can with what we know at the time and do better when we know more. Problem is all the damage that happens in the mean time and I've had a lot of damage done by some people so far sadly.</p><p></p><p>As far as exdh and why he won't allow anything Janet, in his mind, he will take difficult child if she has to go anywhere! This coming from someone who refused to participate in all the docs and therapy sessions when we were together for oldest difficult child, denied she had anything wrong with her (even when she went inpatient), resented her for what she was doing to "mess up his life and how he couldn't have druggy firends over", and finally, after all the abuse we've been through from him and his drug use, I would not EVER send her to him....<strong>EVER</strong>! He hasn't the where with all to help her in the slightest and I don't believe he even would for a moment. So, that's what would happen if we went to court, he has rights to her and could end up getting her and the chance to have her. been there done that and already had to fight to keep them away and almost lost (believe it or not with everything I had documented and with testimony from therapist, etc..) courts sometimes are not fair and I'm not willing to risk this at all. It's her life that would be compromised if I lost the risk.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 359855, member: 455"] In general, after all these years doing this, I knew school had to provide the services if the child needed it, which is what I was pointing out to both the school and this doctor (who is a doctor -pediatric development and medicine specialist with degree). What I have been trying to do is "prove" she needs the service to the school via this doctor, as well as get this [I]point[/I] across to the doctor that I need to prove this to the school. Not look for a particular [I]label[/I] for her to access it but someway of proving it that I have apparently not been able to sufficiently to satisfy the schools criteria as of yet. Because I told her I have been doing this for so many years, advocating, working with others, etc.. all my knowledge is when she flat out asked if I had a degree in special education. No, of course not, most of us don't and we don't NEED one to do what we do! LOL No Janet, not going to a developmental center. It's the dark blue flag up here but just learned that this particular place is actually an offshoot of the name sake they are using and not the actually Psychology department of it (go figure). That there is a whole department of people we should have been going to and not here. I'm beginning to wonder if all these people we have been using for all the difficult child's at this place aren't just rejects from the name sake! LOL Why else wouldn't they be working in the main facility and under the main name? The school you may be thinking of up here only takes the kids (boys and girls) until they are 12. She just aged out for it so can no longer attend and there was talk of it closing recently (in fact I'm not so sure they still aren't closing) and yes it is publicly funded. The light blue place, I've since learned is THE place I should have been going to as they are much more known for Pscyh stuff! :( I didn't know. I came here and was lost. Back in PA I knew as much as you know about NC. I have no contacts and know no one down here, even still. Since we're going to be moving (and at this moment don't even have a clue where the heck that's going to be) I can't even do anything. The one thing I have decided is that I am NOT going back to this place with any of the difficult child after looking back over the last 3 years of care. We've gotten no where with them at all. In the past, we've at least gotten tiny steps in other places. In fact, here's a good one....oldest difficult child at 16 went to her therapist very frustrated over sibling difficult children behaviors being off the wall and she couldn't tolerate it. The advice given to her? The best thing she could do was to get out of house! Ok, so then mx emo decided at that time she wanted to consider being placed in [I]foster care[/I]!!! What therapist would advocate splitting up a family rather then trying to help difficult child work through it (as she basically had no coping skills to begin with due to her OWN issues)? The sibling difficult children weren't getting adequate treatment that was helping them (which I was complaining about repeatedly to the facility). I kept telling them the medications weren't working for them as well and the psychiatrist wasn't properly addressing it and he as well wasn't keeping notes either on what or why we did things with different medications and put them back on medications that didn't work the first time even though I told him this anyway! Ms queen has stumped everyone as to what really is all going on with her. The only FIRM diagnosis we have at this time with her is ADHD inattentive (the wind can blow and she's distracted) and severe ODD. For 5 years we've questioned BiPolar (BP) but some have thrown that out as well. She has mood fluctuations on a dime. She can be crying hysterically one minute like someone died and instantly stop and then be laughing just as hysterically. She shows inappropriate emotions at times, other times it is appropriate ( or is is mimick/faked? - we don't know). She lies terribly, steals to the point of klepto almost (no reasoning on some of the things she takes), steals food (including breaking into locked things), manipulates everyone (especially those that don't know her), overlying charming and sweet to those that don't know her so she is well liked, extremely immature and can't get along with peers and will play with kids light years younger then her, prefers and clings to adults, will listen to adults even if she is rooms away or upstairs (like sitting in her room sitting listening to all downstairs going on and do nothing while sitting there listening- or sit outside her sisters bedroom door listening when she has company), does not understand (or care?) about stranger danger what so ever, seems to be overtly sexual and notices things of a sexual nature (ex; a feminine commercial product - lady spins around and her dress twirls but you can't see anything, she mentions how "high" up it is, she will notice females cleavage and stare), she wants to be sitting on peoples lap if she can at 13 or as close to them as she possibly can get, she is overly "huggy" with many people including teachers or those she might have just met but when it comes to me, she is stand offish (she was attached to my hip practically the first year or more of her life due to birth defects/medical needs process we had to go through so we were close and she got lots of attention from all sources), she demands to be first for everything (in school and at home), things "must" be her way and does try to control the house overall (these are some of the reasons why Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) doesn't quite fit as well). When we first moved here, she went around the neighborhood the day we moved in and knocked on everyone's door (literally) to see if they had kids she could play with. Something you just don' t do! On the other hand, prior to 4/5 years old she was nothing like this! She was always a sweet, lovable, charming child. A social butterfly (which she is now still but inappropriately so). At that age is when things started to slowly change, or at least when we started noticing things changing. They wanted to keep her back in k and almost every year since then but for wrong reasons at the time. I did allow and ask for it in 5th because she wasn't socially ready for 6th grade at all and they were going to fight me until she didn't make the end of grade testing to pass through. So getting back to some changes, she began by stealing food and hiding it in her bed (at time she shared a bedroom- now she doesn't and hasn't for 3 1/2 years). She also began the tantrums and rages and screaming. These things have only increased as has the lying now. Once we moved and as she has aged and has had to be more accountable for academics and older child normal things all these other things have stood out more because she wasn't capable of doing them (like the math, telling time, money, caring properly for herself, etc...). Any yes, I have dealt with many doctors both for myself and difficult children being challanged with my knowledge. I have learned it's not the right mix when we can't be a team. For myself I leave the docs and usually for the kids too but in this case I thought I was at the right place, one of the best places and of course I've now learned a little more. It just goes to show how we do the best we can with what we know at the time and do better when we know more. Problem is all the damage that happens in the mean time and I've had a lot of damage done by some people so far sadly. As far as exdh and why he won't allow anything Janet, in his mind, he will take difficult child if she has to go anywhere! This coming from someone who refused to participate in all the docs and therapy sessions when we were together for oldest difficult child, denied she had anything wrong with her (even when she went inpatient), resented her for what she was doing to "mess up his life and how he couldn't have druggy firends over", and finally, after all the abuse we've been through from him and his drug use, I would not EVER send her to him....[B]EVER[/B]! He hasn't the where with all to help her in the slightest and I don't believe he even would for a moment. So, that's what would happen if we went to court, he has rights to her and could end up getting her and the chance to have her. been there done that and already had to fight to keep them away and almost lost (believe it or not with everything I had documented and with testimony from therapist, etc..) courts sometimes are not fair and I'm not willing to risk this at all. It's her life that would be compromised if I lost the risk. [/QUOTE]
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