Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
An Angry Vent about a doctor (long)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 359932" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The sexual curiosity stuff plus some of the other things you describe, sound way beyond anything that Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) could describe. It is difficult sometimes, because a kid with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), especially if it's undiagnosed and untreated, will appear to have unexplained mood swings. The reason for this is, these kids do often feel very depressed at their inability to connect with the world and the way it all so often seems so unfair. But they can be so easily distracted out of their depression at least briefly, by the things they are obsessed with. However, that is all it is - a short-term distraction, the original mood will be back either with the next frustration, or when they are no longer distracted.</p><p></p><p>But the lying doesn't usually fit with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), especially if it's really credible and well thought out. A detailed, totally fictional and credible lie is generally not within the scope of someone with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). </p><p></p><p>A lot of the other things you describe, including the sexual curiosity - that still could fir with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), although the sexual side of things also can be BiPolar (BP). But I think you know all this. If someone with Asperger's just happens to be focussed on sex and sexuality (and who knows why they become interested in this or that?) then it could also like like a BiPolar (BP) precocity.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps because I live in a household of Aspies etc, that my response to inappropriateness is pragmatic - I bring it back to practicality i some way. For example, the ad for feminine hygiene with a woman twirling - my response to difficult child's extreme interest would be, "What do you think is the purpose of that ad? Is it a successful ad, do you think? It has made you pay attention, which gives them a better chance of you perhaps choosing their product, or maybe even talking about the ad so other people will remember the product. So by actively choosing to have that lady's skirt blow up just so far and no higher - they made that ad more successful. Good for you to have noticed. But always be aware of how much advertising is designed to manipulate your thinking."</p><p></p><p>Sex sells. Our kids are exposed to this and so it's n wonder that someone vulnerable will fixate on sexual matters younger than they should. OK, you feel her interest is way over the top - perhaps by being matter-of-fact about her responses and showing her how they have actually been solicited by the advertising (or her developing hormones) then you can be helping her back to a more realistic position. </p><p></p><p>As with stims, if you try to block it or subvert it, you can drive the problem underground and make it ten times bigger (like fungus). Whereas if you dig it all over, turn over the soil and spread it out to dry in the full light of day, you can kill off the fungal spores (metaphor here) and she may transfer her intense need for something to be interested in, to something more appropriate.</p><p></p><p>Information and knowledge can also help. For example, if your child is sexually precocious and determined to have sex at the first possible opportunity, be aware that you will not be able to legally prevent it. A chastity belt might prevent, but that is not legal. No, the best protection is a combination of information and access to resources. Use the obsession to ensure the child is as informed as possible about the consequences of unprotected sex, and also provide protection to the child so that unprotected sex is less likely to happen; or if it does, then the consequences can be reduced as far as possible.</p><p></p><p>When I was a kid, our railway stations had huge posters about VD. As an avid reader, I had the darn things memorised. No way was I ever going to have unprotected sex outside of marriage. Times have changed.</p><p></p><p>When it became clear that at least some of my kids were likely to have unprotected sex, I took them condom shopping. Here, we can buy them in the supermarket. I asked the kids whether they wanted ribbed or not ribbed. I told them that frankly, despite what the advertising says, it makes very little difference since the nerve endings in the vagina are simply not sensitive enough to feel the difference. I told them which brands to avoid (too thick, therefore no fun for the boys) and when I found the flavoured condoms, I made a loud fuss and asked the kids which flavours they wanted to try. I warned them off banana though. When we got home I showed them where the condoms were kept and told them to help themselves if they needed any. I said I'd keep track and re-stock when the supplies ran down, or they could put them on the shopping list.</p><p></p><p>I think the whole experience of shopping with mama bought us at least another couple of years, before any of the kids dared have sex.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 359932, member: 1991"] The sexual curiosity stuff plus some of the other things you describe, sound way beyond anything that Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) could describe. It is difficult sometimes, because a kid with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), especially if it's undiagnosed and untreated, will appear to have unexplained mood swings. The reason for this is, these kids do often feel very depressed at their inability to connect with the world and the way it all so often seems so unfair. But they can be so easily distracted out of their depression at least briefly, by the things they are obsessed with. However, that is all it is - a short-term distraction, the original mood will be back either with the next frustration, or when they are no longer distracted. But the lying doesn't usually fit with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), especially if it's really credible and well thought out. A detailed, totally fictional and credible lie is generally not within the scope of someone with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). A lot of the other things you describe, including the sexual curiosity - that still could fir with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), although the sexual side of things also can be BiPolar (BP). But I think you know all this. If someone with Asperger's just happens to be focussed on sex and sexuality (and who knows why they become interested in this or that?) then it could also like like a BiPolar (BP) precocity. Perhaps because I live in a household of Aspies etc, that my response to inappropriateness is pragmatic - I bring it back to practicality i some way. For example, the ad for feminine hygiene with a woman twirling - my response to difficult child's extreme interest would be, "What do you think is the purpose of that ad? Is it a successful ad, do you think? It has made you pay attention, which gives them a better chance of you perhaps choosing their product, or maybe even talking about the ad so other people will remember the product. So by actively choosing to have that lady's skirt blow up just so far and no higher - they made that ad more successful. Good for you to have noticed. But always be aware of how much advertising is designed to manipulate your thinking." Sex sells. Our kids are exposed to this and so it's n wonder that someone vulnerable will fixate on sexual matters younger than they should. OK, you feel her interest is way over the top - perhaps by being matter-of-fact about her responses and showing her how they have actually been solicited by the advertising (or her developing hormones) then you can be helping her back to a more realistic position. As with stims, if you try to block it or subvert it, you can drive the problem underground and make it ten times bigger (like fungus). Whereas if you dig it all over, turn over the soil and spread it out to dry in the full light of day, you can kill off the fungal spores (metaphor here) and she may transfer her intense need for something to be interested in, to something more appropriate. Information and knowledge can also help. For example, if your child is sexually precocious and determined to have sex at the first possible opportunity, be aware that you will not be able to legally prevent it. A chastity belt might prevent, but that is not legal. No, the best protection is a combination of information and access to resources. Use the obsession to ensure the child is as informed as possible about the consequences of unprotected sex, and also provide protection to the child so that unprotected sex is less likely to happen; or if it does, then the consequences can be reduced as far as possible. When I was a kid, our railway stations had huge posters about VD. As an avid reader, I had the darn things memorised. No way was I ever going to have unprotected sex outside of marriage. Times have changed. When it became clear that at least some of my kids were likely to have unprotected sex, I took them condom shopping. Here, we can buy them in the supermarket. I asked the kids whether they wanted ribbed or not ribbed. I told them that frankly, despite what the advertising says, it makes very little difference since the nerve endings in the vagina are simply not sensitive enough to feel the difference. I told them which brands to avoid (too thick, therefore no fun for the boys) and when I found the flavoured condoms, I made a loud fuss and asked the kids which flavours they wanted to try. I warned them off banana though. When we got home I showed them where the condoms were kept and told them to help themselves if they needed any. I said I'd keep track and re-stock when the supplies ran down, or they could put them on the shopping list. I think the whole experience of shopping with mama bought us at least another couple of years, before any of the kids dared have sex. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
An Angry Vent about a doctor (long)
Top