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An Ugly Vent...B4..I Explode or Implode!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 110674" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>OH Girlfriend - WE (you and your family here) need to PLAN some things. </p><p></p><p>I get that you lent her the money. And I know without a doubt that had she been on her own and not had your hyper granddaughter there - she would still be sitting in the dark enjoying the $1.98 flashlight you would have given her as a Christmas gift.</p><p></p><p>But seriously - lets get a plan together - a written plan. Lets gather some information about what services, charities, government programs and help are available for her - and lets print them out, and make her copies. </p><p></p><p>The next time she comes asking about help with utilities - you go to PITA folder and pull out the one tabbed UTILITIES HELP. The next time she asks for assistance with prescriptions - we'llhave the $4.00 each list AVAILABLE in PRINT for Kmart, Walmart, and Target, Publix - NOT a guess, not a "This may work" but CERTAIN, tried and true assistance for HER to seek out. You hand her the form with the information on it and NOT cash the next time. </p><p></p><p>There are several places she can go for food, Angel Tree programs, Salvation Army, Goodwill, churchs, Catholic Charities, Lutheran Ministries - It's ALL available and there ARE government programs called LIHEAP or HEAP that will pay ONE bill a year on your electric and gas IF you sign up for it with a cut off notice. </p><p></p><p>Would I help her again? Not likely - ONLY because you can't even decide what makes you so angry about this. I know it's not the money - but should she cause a pu stink over only getting the NAMES and phone numbers of assistance places? You'll know she's not even willing to work for free charity - and by then you'll be glad you didn't give her the money. </p><p></p><p>As far as her cheating on her taxes like that? That stops now at 17. FYI - if she continues to claim that he lived with her for a period OVER 6 months - and he's over 17 - BIG trouble and not by your hands - the IRS is checking very closely. I had to ask an accountant last year about it but Dude lived with us 9 months and at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 3. So I was okay for EIC. </p><p></p><p>Only you can figure out what made you so mad - was it that she's 45 and still a difficult child - well not much you can do about that - apparently it's her destiny. Was it that she once again didn't prepare? Well yeah - it's hard to accept others short comings when we've had to continually pick up their slack. </p><p></p><p>With my difficult child - I will be there for him spiritually, physically if I am able but NOT monitarily. My x constantly went to his Mom for money to bail him out. And Like Daisy I asked - begged her to stop bailing him out, us out - and the ONLY time she didn't bail us out or help was when her son went into rehab - and had blown ALL the next months bill money on dope. THEN with me and Dude sitting in a dark, hot house - she said "Well I bet you wish I was BAILING him out now." and I said "No not really." and just then Dude blurted out "We wanted to see what it was like with NO lights and only candles grandma." As if. </p><p></p><p>Don't be hard on yourself - but DO get yourself a plan. If you don't know where to look PM me your county and I'll do a little investigating if that's what you would like to do. </p><p></p><p>I'll help ya sister!</p><p></p><p>hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 110674, member: 4964"] OH Girlfriend - WE (you and your family here) need to PLAN some things. I get that you lent her the money. And I know without a doubt that had she been on her own and not had your hyper granddaughter there - she would still be sitting in the dark enjoying the $1.98 flashlight you would have given her as a Christmas gift. But seriously - lets get a plan together - a written plan. Lets gather some information about what services, charities, government programs and help are available for her - and lets print them out, and make her copies. The next time she comes asking about help with utilities - you go to PITA folder and pull out the one tabbed UTILITIES HELP. The next time she asks for assistance with prescriptions - we'llhave the $4.00 each list AVAILABLE in PRINT for Kmart, Walmart, and Target, Publix - NOT a guess, not a "This may work" but CERTAIN, tried and true assistance for HER to seek out. You hand her the form with the information on it and NOT cash the next time. There are several places she can go for food, Angel Tree programs, Salvation Army, Goodwill, churchs, Catholic Charities, Lutheran Ministries - It's ALL available and there ARE government programs called LIHEAP or HEAP that will pay ONE bill a year on your electric and gas IF you sign up for it with a cut off notice. Would I help her again? Not likely - ONLY because you can't even decide what makes you so angry about this. I know it's not the money - but should she cause a pu stink over only getting the NAMES and phone numbers of assistance places? You'll know she's not even willing to work for free charity - and by then you'll be glad you didn't give her the money. As far as her cheating on her taxes like that? That stops now at 17. FYI - if she continues to claim that he lived with her for a period OVER 6 months - and he's over 17 - BIG trouble and not by your hands - the IRS is checking very closely. I had to ask an accountant last year about it but Dude lived with us 9 months and at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 3. So I was okay for EIC. Only you can figure out what made you so mad - was it that she's 45 and still a difficult child - well not much you can do about that - apparently it's her destiny. Was it that she once again didn't prepare? Well yeah - it's hard to accept others short comings when we've had to continually pick up their slack. With my difficult child - I will be there for him spiritually, physically if I am able but NOT monitarily. My x constantly went to his Mom for money to bail him out. And Like Daisy I asked - begged her to stop bailing him out, us out - and the ONLY time she didn't bail us out or help was when her son went into rehab - and had blown ALL the next months bill money on dope. THEN with me and Dude sitting in a dark, hot house - she said "Well I bet you wish I was BAILING him out now." and I said "No not really." and just then Dude blurted out "We wanted to see what it was like with NO lights and only candles grandma." As if. Don't be hard on yourself - but DO get yourself a plan. If you don't know where to look PM me your county and I'll do a little investigating if that's what you would like to do. I'll help ya sister! hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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