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General Parenting
An Update from DaisyFace
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 283826" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>WOW!!! The ham sandwich is a great step!! Especially as it was aimed at YOU and not aimed at husband or sibling. </p><p></p><p>Taking the class in parenting is a great pre-emptive strike. It will do all sorts of great things for you as things progress (unless things get much better super fast).</p><p></p><p>It took me a couple of years to figure out that Wiz could process compliments to his siblings, but not to him. NEVER did he realize that we appreciated things he did, no matter HOW MUCH we said or didn't say to him.</p><p></p><p>He just felt that the other kids got lots of praise and he didn't. Sadly, it was actually the opposite, because we wanted to keep reinforcing the good stuff.</p><p></p><p>FINALLY I had a brainstorm. Instead of telling Wiz how proud we were, or what agreat job he did I picked up the phone and called my parents (or pretended to call them if they were not home). He seemed to internalize and accept praise if it was told to someone else. That sort of stuff said to him just didn't register.</p><p></p><p>After a few years he grew into the idea that we were not faking it or lieing to him when we praised him.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if that will help or not. </p><p></p><p>Star had great suggestions also.</p><p></p><p>Give difficult child an Attaboy!! for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 283826, member: 1233"] WOW!!! The ham sandwich is a great step!! Especially as it was aimed at YOU and not aimed at husband or sibling. Taking the class in parenting is a great pre-emptive strike. It will do all sorts of great things for you as things progress (unless things get much better super fast). It took me a couple of years to figure out that Wiz could process compliments to his siblings, but not to him. NEVER did he realize that we appreciated things he did, no matter HOW MUCH we said or didn't say to him. He just felt that the other kids got lots of praise and he didn't. Sadly, it was actually the opposite, because we wanted to keep reinforcing the good stuff. FINALLY I had a brainstorm. Instead of telling Wiz how proud we were, or what agreat job he did I picked up the phone and called my parents (or pretended to call them if they were not home). He seemed to internalize and accept praise if it was told to someone else. That sort of stuff said to him just didn't register. After a few years he grew into the idea that we were not faking it or lieing to him when we praised him. I don't know if that will help or not. Star had great suggestions also. Give difficult child an Attaboy!! for me. [/QUOTE]
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