An Update.......Sort of.....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Nov 17, 2012.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I've been in contact with Katie for a few months now. If you can call it that. It's a month at least before a response arrives in the mail. (the girl lives across town)

    The last letter I sent her I invited them to the halloween party and Nichole invited them to Thanksgiving. Well, I knew before I sent it she'd not respond until after the party, and I was right. I just got her response yesterday in fact. She won't be coming to Thanksgiving either as Kayla has strep throat and Alex supposedly has pneumonia again. Expected that too.

    For all her "you never called, stopped by, dropped in"'s her keeping the distance in place. It was that way before the blow up last year, and it's that way now. The why behind that could be a long list of things and I've just let it go. But it certainly is NOT us.

    easy child saw the kids while they were Trick or Treating. Kayla ran up and threw her arms around her and told her how much she missed everyone.

    The last letter I sent I also send halloween cards to each of the kids. Katie hadn't yet given me the go ahead to contact them and I decided I didn't give a darn, I was going to do so anyway. lol I'd also decided I was sending them xmas ones too, whether she liked it or not.

    I nearly fell over when I read this letter. One, seems Kayla has to get her tonsils out soon and would like us to "visit" her. Last I heard that is an out patient procedure. But that might be her way of saying she'd like us there for the surgery. I don't have a problem doing that as long as it is local. Then she accepted the invite to xmas and said she wanted to contribute to the dinner.

    Now I'm not getting excited in the least. Honestly I'm a bit irked as this is somewhat last minute........and due to her hee hawing about not wanting to participate in family functions we'd gotten used to the idea she was most likely not coming and had planned accordingly. In other words, they were on no one's xmas lists. So now we're left trying to figure out what to give them when we haven't seen/talked to them in a whole year. Except I do have Evan's gift already. I spotted a Little Tykes tool bench with all the tools on the yard sale fb site for our area really cheap and snatched it up with Evan in mind. lol I just figured I'd find an excuse at some point to give it to him.

    Katie being Katie, she could easily change her mind again. (although I'm hoping those halloween cards from Nana started them nagging her) So I warned the kids not to put a lot into their gifts money wise and risk them not showing up to get them.

    I dunno what to do with this kid. So I'm not doing much of anything but keeping in touch with her. Katie will reach out eagerly and then withdraw with excuses. This last letter......well, it was that reach out eagerly, almost desperately, thing again.

    I have a notice from the court of common pleas today that I think is just a jury notice. Not sure what I'm supposed to do with it. She has to respond. So I guess I have my excuse to "drop by" on her. Although who knows if someone will open the darn door.

    Gee........not really much of an update, huh? :sigh:
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I had wondered how that was going. Fingers crossed.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ummm, Forward the letter back to the court with her new address. LOL. I just got a packet of mail for Buck where he put his insurance back at my address and I am taking it back to his insurance company and telling them to change the address. I dont have a clue if they have mail boxes there but I found out his actual address there, asked if they have apartment numbers and was told no. Im tired of getting his mail so everything I get of his I am either forwarding to him or returning to sender with a note of the new address. What happens after that isnt my issue. All I know is he doesnt live here. Stop using my address!

    As far as Xmas presents, I also wouldnt put much into them either. She probably wont show up unless the fact is she doesnt want to buy anything for them and expects you guys to provide it for them. I would bet my left arm that she has applied for all the Xmas help programs out there and is hoping you guys will be the icing on the cake.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Guess you know that you can run an x thru the address and replace it with her address on the envelope and then boldly write Please Forward. Your mailman "may" use a majic marker and line out the delivery code on the bottom right before forwarding. I wouldn't hand deliver it if I were you. on the other hand, lol, I am glad that I'm not you. Heck...I'm not glad that I'm me. :) DDD
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, the letter doesn't bother me too much. It's because she never changed her voter registration. She'd have to walk into the center of town to do so. Although I told those people all during the darn election neither her or M lived at this address. If they don't answer the door I can just stick it inside her screen door or tape it to the door. But she's sort of acting like she wants contact who knows. I wouldn't make a special trip to do it, for certain.

    Janet, the whole icing on the cake thing might be true. Probably is true. And if she did sign them up for everything.....not sure how that is going to work out for her. Our county is hurting more than ever, more people are out of work (I don't see how seems like 2/3 of the county already is) so I'm doubting contributions for such things are going to be at an all time low while demand is at an all time high. I've been watching for the donation posts on fb both for our local toy giveaway and for the bikes from santa one. Nothing from either and usually by now they've already started. I have bikes to donate and some of the nice yard sale toys that would make a child happy come xmas morning.

    But that won't be happening. I've scaled down major due to budget. Gifts are going to "appear" odd as it is going to depend on price as well as the item suiting the person it's going to. Like that tool bench with all the tools. I paid 15.00 for it. It looks new. All tools are there. It's from the 80's and is the exact same thing Travis had growing up. New they run what at least 50.00 and you don't have much with them. I'm snatching up a stuffed rocking horse that clip clops and whinnies for Oliver for 20.00 that retails much higher....looks new. So one person may appear to have gotten a large pricey item when in fact it might have been the cheapest thing I bought. lol Plus I'm making something for each of the grands. Soooo, Katie's kids are getting hats and scarves because I won't have time to add 3 more sweaters to the list of projects. (they're faster to make)

    Nichole has chosen books for everyone. easy child's boys have too many toys and get flooded each year with more. I dunno what easy child has planned but I know she scaled drastically down too, even for her boys.

    I've just reached the point with this child of mine that I can't drum up any umph whatsoever if you Know what I mean?? She will be 33 in Jan. It's highly doubtful she is going to change at this point.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Lisa, do you know what schools the kids go to? Is there any way you could volunteer in their classrooms or the lbrary? Maybe just a couple times a month or at the holidays for the parties or whatever? It would give you some contact, and would let them know you still care. Of course Kayla probably knows, but the other boys might not.

    You also might consider giving Kayla some nice paper to write to you and some stamped envelopes with your name on them. Or maybe start mailing her a letter with a piece of nice paper and one SASE inside the envelope? That would let Kayla reach out and her folks might not even know. You could tell her that she can leave the letter in the school office for the mail man or help her find a mailbox near her home.

    I would return the mail to the post office and not drive ti to her.

    As for scarfs/hats, you could make them out of fleece super fast. You can even make built in mittens by sewing a pocket in the end. You could buy fleece by the yard or just cut up one of the throws that are everywhere now. I think CVS has the fleece throws priced 4 for $10 and if you cut them up you could weave 2 of them together or sew on shapes to make them cute/festive.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm too busy working and looking for work at the moment to volunteer anywhere, not to mention my schedule varies from week to week. We only have one school.....well, one grade school, one jr high and one high school located at the same compound. Kayla has my address/phone numbers, same with her aunts. We discovered her new fb page that we're pretty sure dear ol' mom knows nothing about (due to content) and sent them to her. She has called Nichole a few times. So, she can contact us if she wants/needs to do so.