Hey everyone, Well, it's almost been a month since difficult child moved in with my brother. I had no idea how that was going to go, so I have been literally holding my breath for the last three weeks because anything could have happened. I really have done absolutely nothing for fear of my world being flipped over again. I didn't want to get disappointed and I just truly didn't know how things were going to go from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute, even second to second. However, so far, so good praise God. I know it's way too soon to tell yet and I don't expect it to go all peachy cream forever, but I gave myself permission to exhale a little today and actually move and get some things done. Me and difficult child are on ok terms. I see her a couple of times a week and talk to her. One of my major problems is that I want to address a lot of things with her about the last few years but she knows how to avoid talking about it. She just wants to forget it all, but we can't just "forget" it all. Trust me, I do not want to re-hash all of it, but I just want to tell her some things that I will not accept and she is not open to that conversation at all. I know she is going to wait until it's too late to finally listen to me but my goal is to stop people, including her, from only doing things on their time and not mine. I want some things to change between me and her if she truly wants me in her life and it's very minimal. Don't be angry and aggressive. Don't yell, scream and curse, ESPECIALLY in front of people. Don't demand things and don't take your anger out on me. I know it might be asking a lot of someone who has anger problems, but it HAS to happen in order for me to feel comfortable. I do not want to go through out my whole life being afraid of my daughter or being bullied by her. I don't want to have to worry if we are invited to a family gathering if she is going to freak out on me or treat me like scum in front of everyone if god for bid she gets angry at me. That is one of fears. I do not want to be treated like that or humiliated like that EVER AGAIN. I also have a very few other must haves on my list such as: sometimes things have to go as *I* plan, not as she or everyone plans. Some things have to be done my way for God sakes and that goes not just for her, but for everyone in my life. I have been a doormat for far too long. Anyway, just learning to take it a day at a time. With her living out of the home for the last three weeks, I have already seen changes. When I walk my dog, I am actually started to enjoy the scenery. It's like a cloud has been lifted slightly. Not living with abuse, anger and rage everyday is definitely a healthy thing. I also want to state for the record, it was just not her that was the problem, I have serious problems as well and by no means am I throwing the blame souly on her. I am just saying, sometimes people can not live together. They can be in each others lives a lot, but living with them is such a very different story. A VERY DIFFERENT STORY. I just hope that the living situation stays permenate at my brothers. If things start to go astray there and he tries to put the responsibility back onto me, I am going to remind my brother that it was HIS idea to take her on, I have all the text messages of how he said he can raise her better than me and that if I get in his way, it would be World War 3. Oh how I love text messages in this rare case since he loves to forget a lot of things. However, HOWEVER, things seem to be going ok over there and I do hope everyone is happy and I hope that it works out for my daughter. I think she should stay there for as long as she possibly can.