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And I thought dealing with difficult children was exhausting? ...a vent
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 419865" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry that you are so overtired. Chances are that being so overtired is making it harder for you to cope. I cannot cope when I am exhausted. If benedryl knocks you out, I suggest taking 2 of them tonight and let gma and gpa deal with the dogs. </p><p> </p><p>It may be that you have to put your foot down with gma and gpa. No shopping until your parents return. If they are snarky then they cannot have whatever - they will get what you want to give them. IF they complain, go and buy earplugs at walmart (usually in the aisle with contact lens stuff for some reason). Tell them if they won't be polite and reasonable, then you are going to put earplugs in and ignore them. I have done that with my kids. Takes actually doing it, and serving what YOU want to eat that they may not want and tellign them if they don't eat it then they will be hungry because you will NOT listen to their rudeness and demands or give them what they want if they don't act like civilized people to you.</p><p> </p><p>My aunt used to gripe endlessly about my gma, her stepmom. No matter what she worked hard to make sure gma didn't spend an unneccessary penny. My gpa would have spanked her for it, at least verbally, if he were still alive. When my mom or I were around we realized that she interpreted every comment gma made to be a demand. A comment like "do you remember the relish we had at that Amish restaurant? That was really good. it would be nice if we had a jar of that here." to be a demand to go drive out and get that relish right now. In reality what my gma meant was that it was a nice meal, she had a good time and enjoyed the relish and it woudl be nice if there was some of it at the house. She was often stymied at why my aunt wanted to go and get so many things that were nice but they didn't need.</p><p> </p><p>IF you can work to find the perspective that they are just making comments (even if they are being demanding), it sometimes can make it easy on you. Otherwise, set boundaries and tell them they cannot treat you that way, that you will be happy to be there but will not tolerate snarkiness or bad manners. </p><p> </p><p>Make sure that either another relative or someone hired will take care of your gparents for the next trips. You cannot keep doing this - you have a job and a life of your own to take care of.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 419865, member: 1233"] I am so sorry that you are so overtired. Chances are that being so overtired is making it harder for you to cope. I cannot cope when I am exhausted. If benedryl knocks you out, I suggest taking 2 of them tonight and let gma and gpa deal with the dogs. It may be that you have to put your foot down with gma and gpa. No shopping until your parents return. If they are snarky then they cannot have whatever - they will get what you want to give them. IF they complain, go and buy earplugs at walmart (usually in the aisle with contact lens stuff for some reason). Tell them if they won't be polite and reasonable, then you are going to put earplugs in and ignore them. I have done that with my kids. Takes actually doing it, and serving what YOU want to eat that they may not want and tellign them if they don't eat it then they will be hungry because you will NOT listen to their rudeness and demands or give them what they want if they don't act like civilized people to you. My aunt used to gripe endlessly about my gma, her stepmom. No matter what she worked hard to make sure gma didn't spend an unneccessary penny. My gpa would have spanked her for it, at least verbally, if he were still alive. When my mom or I were around we realized that she interpreted every comment gma made to be a demand. A comment like "do you remember the relish we had at that Amish restaurant? That was really good. it would be nice if we had a jar of that here." to be a demand to go drive out and get that relish right now. In reality what my gma meant was that it was a nice meal, she had a good time and enjoyed the relish and it woudl be nice if there was some of it at the house. She was often stymied at why my aunt wanted to go and get so many things that were nice but they didn't need. IF you can work to find the perspective that they are just making comments (even if they are being demanding), it sometimes can make it easy on you. Otherwise, set boundaries and tell them they cannot treat you that way, that you will be happy to be there but will not tolerate snarkiness or bad manners. Make sure that either another relative or someone hired will take care of your gparents for the next trips. You cannot keep doing this - you have a job and a life of your own to take care of. [/QUOTE]
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And I thought dealing with difficult children was exhausting? ...a vent
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