And NOW, CPS!!!!

[Shari]

And now, husband's ex has turned husband into CPS.

He and easy child were playing with an old paint ball gun last week. She got shot in the butt from 30 feet away and it left a mark. easy child will carry on about having the top layer of skin scratched - I figured this would happen, but I wasn't about to tell her not to tell anyone about it.

Not sure who made the call, but are certain it originated from mom. Grandma had planned to go on vacation, leaving last week. She had asked us to make sure easy child got to school, but mom refused for us to be involved. Mom had planned to get easy child up every morning before she left for work at 530am and let easy child get herself to the bus at 8. Grandma cancelled vacation, easy child said they couldn't leave her to get on the bus alone with "this going on" except "this" wasn't reported til after grandma was supposed to leave.

So, what do I expect from being investigated by CPS?

 

[Hound dog]

Oh, for the love of Pete! grrrrrrr

They most likely will just come talk to you. If it even gets that far as easy child is going to tell them what happened when they speak to her.......and they will speak to her. I don't see how they can make a case of it. Bio Mom may find herself bawled out by cps for such a ridiculous call.

((hugs))

 

[witzend]

They will come to your house and ask for your side of the story. Then they will ask easy child for her side of the story, and if they find the report is unfounded, that will be the end of it. It takes about a month to get through the rigamarole.

Sorry that husband and you are having to go through this. She's a witch.

 

[mstang67chic]

I don't have CPS experience but I wonder if easy child will take it upon herself to unload to the investigator about her mom's ****? Probably not, I'm sure....she is her mom and easy child loves her but...one could hope. I can't see anything coming of this at all.

Did she report because of the "gun" issue or because of the mark? And was easy child giving the chance to nail her Dad too? (I would have paid money for that chance as a kid! LOL)

 

[Shari]

Don't they have a limited amount of time after the incident to talk to easy child about it since it left a mark? Or is that the "old" way?

 

[Shari]

Mustang, given that easy child is here...got off the bus at our house tonight like she always does (Mom "allows" us this "extra" time - we don't "legally" get her til 6 on Wed nights), she is obviously not too terribly concerned that we're going to desperately hurt her kid. So who knows.

I know if we do get a chance to talk to someone, I'm going to see about trying to get the whole fam-damily into group counseling. And bring up the tutoring/counseling/activities/medications issue, which is why mom is so stirred up with us right now.

 

[Star*]

tic sack, tick sack, tick sack...........

I really think this is a good thing........

I want you to BRING up to CPS that these children are being caught up in her mindless games of revenge and hatred and take her to court so a judge can have her evaluate.

I would document EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING THAT THIS WITCH DOES....not returning calls.....the nasty little emails.......and drag her in front of a judge and get custody.

THIS IS THE LIVING END.

 

[Hound dog]

Shari........if Mom let easy child come over during an un-court ordered visitation time, I'd say the moron just tossed her own case out the window.

Other than it being a major PITA, I'd say you don't have anything to worry about. Gee, what a combo......a witchymoron.

 

[flutterbee]

(I didn't read all of the responses.)

Oh, for crying out loud!!!!

Seriously? With all the abuse and neglect of children going on in our country and CPS is called over this?? Oh...don't even get me started.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this added stress, Shari, but I do not believe for one second you have anything to worry about. And if you do, you have a bunch of board aunties that will be kicking hiney and taking names. (Doesn't sound near as cool when you use the word hiney.)

Maybe once you explain to them how bio-mom won't do the tutoring or this and that, they'll make her take parenting classes. Would serve her right.

 

[klmno]

Well, doesn't that just vacuum. You know, after the "investigation", you can file a petition to find out who submitted an accusation if the accusation has been determined to be unfounded (check state laws on this), and then, you can take that person to court for making false allegations. What a PITA, no matter what, putting a kid through this turmoil all the time is a form of abuse in my book.

 

[Shari]

easy child seems to be oblivious about any of it.

Should I tell her anything about it - about someone possibly talking to her about it? That these people are coming because someone told them dad is abusing her?

And like you said, Star, I am almost hopeful something good will come of this.

 

[klmno]

easy child seems to be oblivious about any of it.

Should I tell her anything about it - about someone possibly talking to her about it? That these people are coming because someone told them dad is abusing her?

That's a tough question- I don't know her maturity, how she feels about being caught in the middle etc., but I would probably try to prepare my son for being questioned- not prepared like telling him what to say, but prepared as in making him aware and to expect it to happen. I wouldn't get into "he said, she said" sort of stuff, I don't think. But again, this is a tough situation. What does your husband say? This might be a good time for him to be more involved.

 

[mstang67chic]

Keep in mind, I don't have any experience with this type of situation but my first thought is either no or tell her that someone may be talking to her but not what it's about. My reasoning for this is that I would assume (and I could be way off here...don't know her so I don't know her disposition) that her first response would be one of great surprise. (As in "WHAT???? You've got to be kidding" type of thing.) However, if you think this could upset her, I would give her a calm heads up and if she asks what to say, just tell her to tell the truth. I wouldn't say anymore than exactly that so it can't be taken as coaching or a threat.

 

[klmno]

After reading mstang's post, I second her opinion.

 

[amazeofgrace]

CPS = free services for us, and after some pushing and pressing I am happy with all of them!

 

[Shari]

Amaze - that's what I'm praying for.

 

[KTMom91]

I think biomom has way too much time on her hands. And really...after her child is "shot", she lets her come back? What a waste of everyone's time and energy. So sorry you're dealing with all this.

 

[susiestar]

I strongly urge you to assemble ALL the documentation you have of the limits and restrictions biomom places on the child and let CPS know about this. They will talk to you. They will talk to easy child at school - and in many states they are not required to notify either parents that they have spoken with her. Here the principal or vice principal or guidance person sits in, but not all schools do that.

USE this to show the positive parenting that is done at your house AND the academic and social neglect done by mom. Make sure that you can have school mention the need for tutoring and MOM's refusal to let her go to it.

I am sorry. This woman needs to get a clue. This is a totally wrongful use of the child welfare system.

 

[Shari]

Thank you all for the input. And I apologize for being so "taking" this past couple weeks and not very "giving". difficult child's actually having a good run here, so I guess everything else must step up at take his place, huh?

Susie, I hope they do talk to her at school. That's the best case scenario for that. My only real fear out of this is that if they talk to her at her mom's, she'll be afraid to say anything positive to them about her dad.

I guess I should clarify that we don't know that mom turned him in. But we don't know who else it could have been, either. Can't see school doing it.

But, like I said, grandma cancelled vacation while "this" is going on (whatever "this" is), mom took easy child out to eat at pizza hut more than once over the past 5 days and to watch a step-sib's softball practice, and told her maybe they will go somewhere for her birthday next year.

Maybe mom's attempt to cover her own will make her step and do what we've been complaining about, anyway! Wouldn't that be GREAT?!!??

 

[busywend]

Wow! This seems so silly. Playing a game - anything can happen - in any game.

If it was mom, you are dealing with a very difficult situation. Wow. Is it possible someone in your neighborhood saw it happen?