Had an awesome therapist visit today with difficult child. I have felt so stuck as to what to do when my kids get into their "In Mom's Face" modes. It doesn't happen as much with difficult child as it did with Diva but when it happens, it happens BIG if you know what I mean.
Today it was brought up at therapist's. I asked what can we do about this. Is there a way of tackling this like we did the anxiety? difficult child has been so successful with the anxiety treatment but what do you do about "In Mom's Face"?
difficult child learned to recognize anxiety symptoms, can he do the same with anger symptoms? Can he figure out his triggers and avoid? Can he back off (disengage) when he recognizes anger taking over? Can he learn to control his frustrations?
Seems like the answers are "yes", if HE chooses to do so.
So, first step - recognize what is causing the anger. He is to journal every day on how the day went and how he felt about different situations - who, what, where, when, why. He has to do this. We need HIS thoughts and insights. No longer can therapist help us if he is only getting Mom's side of the story or what Mom thinks is happening.
I am so excited about this. difficult child seems willing to try. I doubt he will journal every day and I am sure it will take awhile before he understands how/what to journal, but we should get enough of the journaling before our November meeting to have a good start to the process. I think he is finally understanding that his thoughts need to be shared. No more, "Stop behaving like this" which is getting us no where but now it is "Let's see what is happening and why!" therapist said it will help us answer the question, "Why to Mom and no one else?"
difficult child came away from the meeting with the word, "disengage". therapist explained to him how he has a hard time letting go and needs to practice how to disengage when frustrations arise. Not that we want him to turn his back on every situation but to learn how to deal with those situations in a healthy manner - so, disengage and re-examine what actions if any need to be taken and how. 1st step is to recognize, 2nd step is to disengage and we will get to the next steps after he is able to do the 1st two steps.
I know this will not happen overnight but I am so excited about an actual plan of action. I also have the word "disengage" to use if we do get into an "In Mom's Face" moment that he is refusing to back down from.
I will let you know how it works.
Today it was brought up at therapist's. I asked what can we do about this. Is there a way of tackling this like we did the anxiety? difficult child has been so successful with the anxiety treatment but what do you do about "In Mom's Face"?
difficult child learned to recognize anxiety symptoms, can he do the same with anger symptoms? Can he figure out his triggers and avoid? Can he back off (disengage) when he recognizes anger taking over? Can he learn to control his frustrations?
Seems like the answers are "yes", if HE chooses to do so.
So, first step - recognize what is causing the anger. He is to journal every day on how the day went and how he felt about different situations - who, what, where, when, why. He has to do this. We need HIS thoughts and insights. No longer can therapist help us if he is only getting Mom's side of the story or what Mom thinks is happening.
I am so excited about this. difficult child seems willing to try. I doubt he will journal every day and I am sure it will take awhile before he understands how/what to journal, but we should get enough of the journaling before our November meeting to have a good start to the process. I think he is finally understanding that his thoughts need to be shared. No more, "Stop behaving like this" which is getting us no where but now it is "Let's see what is happening and why!" therapist said it will help us answer the question, "Why to Mom and no one else?"
difficult child came away from the meeting with the word, "disengage". therapist explained to him how he has a hard time letting go and needs to practice how to disengage when frustrations arise. Not that we want him to turn his back on every situation but to learn how to deal with those situations in a healthy manner - so, disengage and re-examine what actions if any need to be taken and how. 1st step is to recognize, 2nd step is to disengage and we will get to the next steps after he is able to do the 1st two steps.
I know this will not happen overnight but I am so excited about an actual plan of action. I also have the word "disengage" to use if we do get into an "In Mom's Face" moment that he is refusing to back down from.
I will let you know how it works.
