and once again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Apr 23, 2010.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I wonder what was I thinking.

    difficult child is a member of a youth group at church. Great and good, he needs all the chances to develop good social skills he can get, and friends are good too.

    They are doing a sleep over tonight, a famine type of deal. Apparently to earn money for some sort of charity (difficult child did not tell me that) and they were supposed to collect donations (which he did not do and did not tell me about). He told his group leader he was going to collect $800! What I find amazing is the guy believed him, and seemed irked when difficult child had no money! How do you believe a 12yr old kid when they say they are collecting that much money? I could see 1 or 2 hundred, but 800!

    difficult child told me needed money to buy juice. No problem, I gave him some money. The group leader asks me where difficult child's juice is? I looked at him blankly. difficult child was right beside me, and I asked him if he wanted me to go to the store to buy him some juice, he got really irritated with me and said no. I am really glad another adult heard this.

    I am not sure if he will make the night, and bet he will call to be picked up early tommorrow. I called husband (who was grumpy earlier) and warned him we would probably be getting a phone call. At least HE is not grumpy now!

    I should have just told him he could not go, but he wanted to go so bad! I really really hope this does not turn into the fiasco it could.
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Isn't it funny (not) when others think our kids are able to remember and deal with reality most times??? I had to have a couple of sit downs with K's Teachers because they were getting annoyed with me when I questioned them about what was expected, if there were any plans up coming, any things going on????
    They tried to tell me that K could tell me these things and to trust her! She would remember! HA HA They have since realized the asking was only to try to help her with her memory!!! DUH

    It is so hard because we want to give the leash more lead but they end up choking themselves and a lot of times do not learn a thing...

    I hope he makes it through the night and has fun. Maybe a good talk after tomorrow will be good?
    What were you thinking? That you were trying to let him do something fun and be social... being a good mom! Helping him grow,
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member least your kids are old enough to be in real school. Keyana was expected to figure out how to fundraise for Relay for Life and she will not be four until June! Because she is involved in all these beauty pageants she has to be out and about as a semi-public figure. Or as much of one as we can make her. Sigh.

    We had her sell hugs to all the guys her Papa works with when they got They cant resist her!
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope the evening turn out better and that no one received a call to come pick him up. I'm shocked they believed difficult child about the $800!
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    It is so hard when we try to give our kids the opportunities they need for the social side in life and also the responsible side in life. I wonder if you can talk to difficult child and let him know that if he would have given you more information earlier about what the group was expecting out of him you could have helped him make a more realistic goal. I suppose some other kid had spoke up with a "I can raise $500" and difficult child wanted to better that? I am struggling with my difficult child to accept what he can do and what he does earn and not be angry that he wasn't number 1 and got all that "glory".

    I also do not like that the leader was irked that the $800 didn't come in. These fundraisers are getting way too materialistic for me - it is all about the numbers and nothing about the process. If the leader was kinder about it like maybe say, "Oh, it didn't work out this time. Maybe next time." or "difficult child, I am so grateful for the heart you have to serve others. You may not have the money this time but the time you put into praying and actually working on projects is just as important to those we are trying to help." lt so would have been more beneficial to difficult child. Just think, he had grand plans of handing over $800 - in his mind that was what he was thinking about, not actually having the money but how awesome it would feel to have the "glory" of those he gave the money to. I am sure that he felt bad when he had to go in without it and then to have the leader shove it further into his disappointment with being irked instead of supportive..... No wonder our difficult child's have a hard time getting through some of the things they set themselves up to fail in.

    I hope he was able to settle in after the hard enterance to the event and found some joy in the evening.
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    ((((crazymama)))) Hang in there girl.
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Well, as far as I know the sleep over went well. I asked difficult child if he had a good time and he said he did.

    They did not give him his evening medications and he did not put his patch on. Yesterday after he got home he was playing basketball with husband and some of husband's buddies. At some point difficult child thought husband called him a wimp and a girl (he did not, not sure what was said but difficult child misheard) and difficult child got mad and threw some sort of hard small (like a baseball) at husband and hit him in the nose and broke his glasses and shoved the nose piece in his nose. husband's nose was all swollen. I cam home from work to a majorly ticked off husband and a hyperventilating, anxious angry sobbing difficult child.

    Today? He has had his medications when he was supposed to and is much better, a little wound up still but not even close to yesterday.

    Not sure we are doing this sleep over thing again anytime soon!