toughlovin
Well-Known Member
PG I have been thinking of you and tried to respond but having some trouble with responding on the site, not sure why....
Anyway I think you did the right thing by not bailing her out. You are giving her the message that you will not enable her and that she needs to face the consequences of her actions. And it will not be your money lost when she does not show up at court or did not finish rehab or whatever. Her friend may learn the hard way and that will be her loss.
My hope is that your difficult child really did not like jail and really does not want to be there again and that will motivate her to do what they ask and to get help.... hopefully she will, maybe she won't. You have absolutely no control over that. It really is up to her and I think it is time you step back and let the systems go to work and be the bad guys. It is time you just be her mom and love her but stop trying to save her because you can't. She can only save herself. If she really wants help she can come to you for help and you get to decide how much help and what you are willing to do or not do.
I do think it would be a good idea to call CPS.... they are the system in place to help protect your grandchild and maybe if they talk to her and give her the real deal (she will lose custody of the baby if she doesnt clean up her act and fast) it will motivate her. That is my hope.
I am thinking of you and that baby.
*TL
Anyway I think you did the right thing by not bailing her out. You are giving her the message that you will not enable her and that she needs to face the consequences of her actions. And it will not be your money lost when she does not show up at court or did not finish rehab or whatever. Her friend may learn the hard way and that will be her loss.
My hope is that your difficult child really did not like jail and really does not want to be there again and that will motivate her to do what they ask and to get help.... hopefully she will, maybe she won't. You have absolutely no control over that. It really is up to her and I think it is time you step back and let the systems go to work and be the bad guys. It is time you just be her mom and love her but stop trying to save her because you can't. She can only save herself. If she really wants help she can come to you for help and you get to decide how much help and what you are willing to do or not do.
I do think it would be a good idea to call CPS.... they are the system in place to help protect your grandchild and maybe if they talk to her and give her the real deal (she will lose custody of the baby if she doesnt clean up her act and fast) it will motivate her. That is my hope.
I am thinking of you and that baby.
*TL
