For the last few days I've been thinking about difficult child a lot and thinking about how if I'd done certain things differently he would have had a better life than he has now. It makes me so sad. I hate when I get into these "funks". It takes a lot out of me. I know I can't change the past but I can't help but feel guilty for some of the bad decisions I've made concerning difficult child. Yes - I know I've also done a lot to help him but the one thing he always hoped and wished for the most was to be able to live at home and have a "normal" childhood. It definitely didn't work out that way and I cry when I think of him out on his own, living at the shelter, and blindly making his way through his life. It literally breaks my heart sometimes. Uggggh!