And the meltdown begins!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Mar 21, 2009.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    difficult child was up earlier than I expected this morning. He was doing very well and as we made plans to go to Rock and Bowl he asked if his friend A could come with. They bowl together in the Monday after school youth league. They were also on the same baseball team last year - I will see if we can request they be together again this year.

    I made arrangements to pick up A. Once at the alley, the boys settled in and ordered lunch. difficult child had below average on all games with the last one being "88" (average is 109 since he has new ball). He was getting more and more ornery as the games went on. Finding every excuse under the sun why he wasn't doing as well as normal. His shoe slips, the ball slipped out of his hands, he saw a flash of light on the wall (during Rock and Bowl the lights are turned off and disco lights are flashing), I was yelling at him (definetly NOT! I thought and told him that he was doing well. It is normal to have not so good bowling days. It was no big deal, he was relaxed and having fun.) I get so tired of these whines - They are ten times worse when they are being done over something that he should be enjoying. Atleast his whines didn't compare himself with A. I think it was bothering him though because the two boys are neck to neck in league and expect to stay up with each other. difficult child was just too far behind all the games today. Oh well, such is life - it is just a game!

    On the way home, difficult child complained that he was suppose to get 120's. Umm, I don't think so. He will be there someday but not as every game or even every other game at this point. A gave him a pep talk about just doing your best (He by the way had great games - I wrote the scores down for him to show him mom and dad).

    A came home with difficult child to play for awhile. They went outside for a short time but it is so wet outside, not many places to play without A having boots. They mostly played Rock Band and Guitar Hero.

    About 1/2 hour ago, difficult child came to me. His fears have been rising today. He said he wasn't feeling well. I asked if I should take A home so difficult child could rest. He said "yes". So, we just took A home after making sure his parents were home. (He is also a difficult child and asked me "what if they are not home?" "Then you come back with me.")

    After we dropped A off, difficult child stated that this came on so fast. He thinks he is having little mini strokes that are building up to a big one. difficult child is now in is room supposebly trying to take a nap. I told him the psychiatrist will most likely give him some medications so he is not so afraid all the time.
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    When is his apt? Do you know what medications psychiatrist is thinking about?
    Poor guy, sorry he is still struggling with this.
    Anxiety is one of the worse things we deal with here in our house right now, for all of us.
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Thursday morning at 8:00 am (we will leave the house 6:45 am).

    This is our first appointment so no idea what he is considering. However, he is in practice with our therapist so should have access to the last year of therapist reports.

    difficult child did take a very long nap which is very unlike him. He has been very quiet since coming home after taking his friend home.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The poor guy. I'm glad the appointment. is coming up soon (although it probably seems a long way away right now). Hugs to you as well.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Awwwwwww, Andy. I remember thinking, "OMG! My arm is numb! I have MS!" I knew more about diseases at age eight then most people know at eighty.
    I hope the psychiatrist finds something to calm his panic attacks. They do come on lightening fast. (((Hugs))) (By the way, tell your son he bowls better than I ever did! I'm lucky to break 70!)
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. You did a great job keeping your cool and being supportive to both boys.

    It is so scary to feel the way he feels. To know something is "off" and not know what or how to fix it or if it will hurt you in the long run. Truly terrifying. It is one reason I truly think having a diagnosis (the official label) is helpful.

    If there is a NAME for it then it is REAL and things can be done to HELP. with-O a diagnosis, a NAME, how do you know what you are fighting. It frustrates me no end when the doctor says, "Well, i think it is G, but I don't want to label him." If it is G then you have a roadmap. with-o that map, the trip can be very scary.

    One of the only things worse than KNOWING something is wrong and not knowing what is having that bit of knowing about something being wrong with your child and not knowing what.

    You are handling the entire thing beautifully. He is a lucky kid to have you for a mom.
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    I can so relate. I remember when manster was younger and we'd caution him about normal safety stuff like staying away from cleaning products because they were poison. For a long time if anything sprayed on him he'd panic and want to know if he was going to die. Or the time we'd caution him when out in public about staying close so strangers wouldn't get him and he became suspicious of all strangers wondering if this one was going to try and grab him. He has since stuck to me like glue when we go out, years later.

    Yesterday I had the nerve to say "no" a few times to things he wanted from me and I had to listen to how this was the worse day of his life with him trying to choke back tears.

    I agree with susie about getting a name for it but I also know how hard that can be with so many things merging together on that spectrum. For us, AS makes the most sense but he doesn't fit it to a "t" either.

    I hope it goes well at the docs.


  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Thank you! Yes, his fears are just too much. If I try to say there is nothing to be afraid of then I don't understand and I don't care. If I try to show him he is o.k. via eye exams, seeing a doctor, ect. then he is sure that he is dying because mom must think something is terrible wrong if she is having tests/exams done.

    This will be a long week. Makes me think maybe I should have stuck with the pediatrician and gotten medications sooner? But then again, I want to do what is best for him and if pscyhiatrist can reevaluate him to see if anxiety is the only thing or if there is something else we should address. I kind of wonder how complete the testings were when he was admitted to psychiatric hospital. Being it was an acute admission, they may have only focused on the first major diagnosis they found?

    This will be a busy week for him. No school on Friday so he can sleep in. He seems fine now but he hasn't gotten out of bed yet. He told me last night that he is fine lying down but once he sits up or stands up then his head gets weird. I have started a new journal to try to keep up so I can share everything with the Psychiatrist and neurologist.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Poor thing.

    Are you doing talk therapy? I think you had it in another note.

    I hope he feels better today.