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And then he blew it
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 631086" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I don't know if it makes more sense or less sense now that I can add that he also took his sister's old (but not very old!--not the one she is using) iphone, and the bluetooth speaker I let him use while he was here. The speaker was a Christmas present to me from my ex (yes we are still nice to each other). difficult child's passion/obsession is music, and a lot of conflicts have been over everything from TOO LOUD to "can I play this youtube music video for you" to stealing ipods from his siblings. I already felt we were falling into irritating and depressing old patterns when he picked it up and asked if he could use it (yes). The day I asked him to leave (after we realized he had stolen the change) he asked if he could take it...and I said no. He smiled and said he figured that, but he needed to ask. </p><p></p><p>Yestarday SO found the empty box.</p><p></p><p>And the empty iphone box too.</p><p></p><p>This morning my phone rang from an unknown number and I answered. difficult child said "what are you doing?" and I said "it is your brother's birthday, I"m getting ready to take them out for breakfast." He said "oh! can I get in on that?" (I hate that expression). And I said "did you take the speaker?" and he said "oh. yes I did. Can I bring it back?" and I said "I'm not ok with talking to you right now." </p><p></p><p>And that was that.</p><p></p><p>I didn't even bother to ask about the iphone.</p><p></p><p>It makes me feel ever more certain that none of this is my fault. NOt that I blame myself much anymore, but of course it creeps in sometimes. </p><p></p><p>I was going to go with him to the SS office tomorrow to try to get it reinstated..they have linked his income to mine somehow so he was taken off the rolls. That happened once before but his caseworker took care of it..of course now he doesn't have a caseworker so they asked me to come in, and I was going to. Now, frankly, I don't give a good d*%$^ if he has SS.</p><p></p><p>He has a sweet side. He has a messed up brain. He is my son. He is mentally ill. He is a substance abuser. He lives under a bridge. Sometimes he tries to straighten himself out. He loves me and misses me. He is a thief. He is a liar. He lives in denial. All these things are true. And all of them are what they are.</p><p></p><p>Today is my younger boys' birthday. They are 16. They are growing up tall and strong. They don't want to spend much time with me today (made clear in the nicest possible way) and that is as it should be. I took them to breakfast and will sneak in a cupcake and candles later. They don't even want presents..at 16 they have jobs, and a secure home, and they say they have all they need.</p><p></p><p>That is enough, more than enough, for today.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 631086, member: 17269"] I don't know if it makes more sense or less sense now that I can add that he also took his sister's old (but not very old!--not the one she is using) iphone, and the bluetooth speaker I let him use while he was here. The speaker was a Christmas present to me from my ex (yes we are still nice to each other). difficult child's passion/obsession is music, and a lot of conflicts have been over everything from TOO LOUD to "can I play this youtube music video for you" to stealing ipods from his siblings. I already felt we were falling into irritating and depressing old patterns when he picked it up and asked if he could use it (yes). The day I asked him to leave (after we realized he had stolen the change) he asked if he could take it...and I said no. He smiled and said he figured that, but he needed to ask. Yestarday SO found the empty box. And the empty iphone box too. This morning my phone rang from an unknown number and I answered. difficult child said "what are you doing?" and I said "it is your brother's birthday, I"m getting ready to take them out for breakfast." He said "oh! can I get in on that?" (I hate that expression). And I said "did you take the speaker?" and he said "oh. yes I did. Can I bring it back?" and I said "I'm not ok with talking to you right now." And that was that. I didn't even bother to ask about the iphone. It makes me feel ever more certain that none of this is my fault. NOt that I blame myself much anymore, but of course it creeps in sometimes. I was going to go with him to the SS office tomorrow to try to get it reinstated..they have linked his income to mine somehow so he was taken off the rolls. That happened once before but his caseworker took care of it..of course now he doesn't have a caseworker so they asked me to come in, and I was going to. Now, frankly, I don't give a good d*%$^ if he has SS. He has a sweet side. He has a messed up brain. He is my son. He is mentally ill. He is a substance abuser. He lives under a bridge. Sometimes he tries to straighten himself out. He loves me and misses me. He is a thief. He is a liar. He lives in denial. All these things are true. And all of them are what they are. Today is my younger boys' birthday. They are 16. They are growing up tall and strong. They don't want to spend much time with me today (made clear in the nicest possible way) and that is as it should be. I took them to breakfast and will sneak in a cupcake and candles later. They don't even want presents..at 16 they have jobs, and a secure home, and they say they have all they need. That is enough, more than enough, for today. Echo [/QUOTE]
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