and then......

[EStephens]

Karma has come around!!! I have been so mad at my friends for abandoning me because my difficult child wasn't like theirs. Fast forward to this week....I am keeping two of my nephews. One is shy, the other has "sensory issues" as his mom says. I am not a doctor, but I would bet 7 milkshakes that kid has Asperger's. I love him and we have had a blast, but by golly he has been difficult!! He wants to argue about EVERYTHING! He has no filter and can not handle temperature changes without a melt down.
In using techniques we use with our big kid, the aspie we are making it!! I can see a little better the fact that other people are intimidated by my difficult child. I have been so mad at these people for being closed minded and I learn that I am not too far behind them.
Oh how I hate eating crow.

 

[TeDo]

Yup, those are the hardest things to swallow!! At least you know what you're dealing with and doing. Your intolerance of your nephew might be partly because you deal with it every day and then doing double duty with one that shows different symptoms than you are used to (some being worse). I give you credit for seeing it and methods we use for kids on the spectrum work with neurotypical kids too. Glad you have some skills to deal with him appropriately. Is your sister open to you voicing your suspicions? You might be the one that can help her get some help with him. You could commiserate with each other and support each other????

 

[EStephens]

This nephew is my husband's sisters son. I have tried to ask her about getting a professional opinion, but she says nothing is wrong. (insert very dramatic eye roll). I get that no one wants to have the "weird" or "odd" kid but if it helps him get treatment and services he needs, why be so stubborn. When my difficult child got his diagnosis I will admit I cried for days because he had yet another hurdle in life and frankly I over think EVERYTHING!!! That whole side of the family is pretty hands off when it comes to my son. Not sure if it's because he is a step kid or because his quirkiness annoys them.

 

[BeachPeace]

I can relate - my family are all "nervous" around Blue. It is hard to not be super sensitive and get offended all the time when I knjow that the fear of a serious violent outburst is real.
I can handle the violent meltdowns (most of the time) but I understand it is unrealistic to expect everyone else to calmly handle them as well. Maybe set up opportunities for your family to be hands on with limits - like coming to your home for an hour, etc.
We are making baby steps with this ....We have had a couple of family members babysit in our home for 45 mins to 1 hr where we have all the safeguards in place and the routines in stone. He is also making progress with increases in Abilify and Kapvay.
I just noticed your husband has PTSD - my son does too - he was adopted from Foster Care and suffered extensive abuse.
Anyway good luck and welcome here.