And We Have A Court Date

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Janna, Feb 19, 2007.

  1. Janna

    Janna New Member

    for difficult child 2.

    First week in March. The petition requests that, because the child cannot make any further progress in foster care (as if he's made any, really), he be sent home with the mother.

    Although, the following line states that he could be placed elsewhere (i.e. Residential Treatment Center (RTC)), should the judge think that more appropriate.

    Knowing this judge, he will send difficult child 2 home.

    I am apprehensive to start making the plans, even though the court date is only a few weeks away.

    I have been receiving weekly reports from difficult child 2's teacher via email. The last two weeks have been good. He is getting along with peers. He is trying to do the right thing. No detentions/suspensions. Yes, it's only been two weeks (is that a negative comment?).

    He is on the basketball team now (something he's wanted to do a long time, the previous fosters, the K's, would not allow him to join). He is working at McDonald's now (again, something he's wanted to do, the K's would not allow him). He even joined the wrestling/weight lifting team (triple ditto).

    In my amazement, the more freedom that is given to him, the better he is doing. I suppose this could be the way with alot of kids, but you'd think most difficult child's would take advantage and get into tons of trouble (which has always been my fear). Oddly enough, it seems to be the oppposite with difficult child 2.

    We would have to do some rearranging for him to come home. We have two bedrooms for 4 kids. SO's son (he only sleeps there 4 nights a month) and easy child share a room, and there is a 3rd bed in there for difficult child 2 (that bedroom is immense LOL). Dylan has his own room (because when we moved, nobody wanted to be around Dylan). Dylan will have to be moved in with easy child and SO's kid. difficult child 2, at 15, should be entitled to his own. We'd have to get him a transfer for McDonalds. I'd have to re-register him into school, and get him back to where he's SUPPOSED to be, not to where the intervention messed up and put him (he's supposed to be mainstream 90%, and is E.S. 90%). I'd be staying up later to pick him up from work. I'd have to leave work earlier to get him from basketball practice. Life will be shifted alot, but you know, I think in the end, it'll be worth it.

    We will have to, without a doubt, incorporate him into therapy somehow. He isn't very interested, but I still have concerns with aggression/negative behaviors/inappropriate hands toward the other children.

    I'm scared, but equally excited. My son hasn't lived with me in a very long time. We will have to make a back up plan, in case of disaster, but I am hoping we won't have to use it.

    difficult child 2 created and typed up his own behavioral plan for reunification. I forwarded it to my attorney. He has made alot of his own chores, rules and consequences. We were impressed. I had nothing to do with it, didn't even know about it. I have to give him a high five for it.

    We will put a lock on the bedroom door (SO has guns, hunting stuff, all that needs to be locked up). Anything of super value will go up there. The keyboard and mouse to the computer will come to work with me, so that there is no temptation there (no internet unless there is an adult in the room is a rule). He'll have to earn some trust, but I am praying he can do that in good time.

    Thanks for listening. Please keep a good thought.

  2. On_Call

    On_Call New Member


    Sending many good thoughts your way.

    It sure sounds like difficult child has made much progress lately. The additions of the basketball team and the job seem to be going well. With the added freedom comes the added responsibility and it sounds like difficult child is stepping up to the plate on both counts.

    Sounds like you are well on your way to figuring out the sleeping arrangements.

    I will cross my fingers and everything else that this works out and that difficult child will make a successful transition back into your home!
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Fingers crossed. It is hard to think of everything, but you have a good list. I would stress to the judge that you would like a plan put in place of what supports will be available to you if something does go wrong after difficult child 2 moves home.
  4. oceans

    oceans New Member

    Janna- I am very happy for you. I hope that this can work out well for both your family and for difficult child 2. Good luck!!!
  5. Loris

    Loris New Member

    Sounds like you have a lot going for you, I'm thrilled for you. I hope all goes well.
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Janna - keep us updated on the transition home.
  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Keeping fingers and toes crossed that all goes well in court and when difficult child 2 comes home.

    I know you've probably thought of it already but the one thing I would recommend about the door lock is a good deadbolt. We went through two door knob locks before putting a deadbolt in and that was just to keep difficult child out. We don't have guns in the house but he was intent on getting in and broke in twice.

    I also think that giving him his own room is a good idea. Not only for his age, but he's got his own space to go to if he's stressed by the other kids.

    Anywho....hope things go well and I'll be thinking about you!

  8. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    Saying prayers that all goes well. Please keep us updated.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Praying all goes well. Hugs.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janna...everything sounds really good. The only thing I can see to add ...and I say this because we are avid hunters to get a gun safe. It would be much easier to do that than worry about dealing with locking your bedroom. Get a good gun safe and you can lock everything in there and not worry about the room. Not one of those glass fronted ones...a nice heavy metal one. Also get trigger locks. Since you have long guns and not handguns, you can get a single long chain like a bicycle chain lock and run it thru the trigger of all the guns and lock them together in the safe. They cant be taken out to be shot. Quite safe.
  11. PiperThree

    PiperThree New Member

    I am crossing my fingers and toes for you and your family that all goes well with difficult child 2's transition home. I wish you all the best!

  12. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Thanks everyone.

    Janet, we've been looking at gun safes. We don't need a big one, SO only has 3, a muzzle loader, semi automatic rifle and a umm, I dunno, something else LOL! No, no hand held pistols or anything like that.

    But, they're expensive. Would prefer to have a fireproof one if we're going to get one. Going to check at Wal Mart, Target, etc. Gander Mountain, Cabelas, all of them, they're prices are ridiculous.

    Still, will put a lock on the bedroom. Deadbolt sounds better. But the guns, that's my big worry.

    We were all at Gander Mountain the other week, picking up one of SO's guns, and difficult child 2 kept staring at the pistols. I guess, SO tells me, per PA state law, he can't own one until he's 21. Whew!!!!!!!!

  13. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Janna, look in the pawn shops or check ebay. You might be able to get one cheaper used. Even call a locksmith. Sometimes they sell used safes fairly cheap.

    You mentioned how when difficult child 2 is given more freedom, he is doing much better. That was the same for me. My father had to keep his thumb on me constantly, but when I was about 17 or so, he finally gave up trying to reign me in and let me make my own mistakes. He helped me out when and if I asked for it. That's when I finally got my act together. The less he pulled, the less I pulled in the opposite direction. I think you might be onto something, there.

    I sure hope things work out for ya. It's a shame you can't find a job a little closer to your house.
  14. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    When is the hearing? Many prayers and {{{hugs}}} coming your way.