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And WHO needs to apologize?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 158539" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>You can win the battle but loose the war in the long run. And I'm not talking about you Adrianne - I'm referring to toaster strudel boy. </p><p> </p><p>IF it is possible in your home, since you are the proud owner of a difficult child and after being told a gazillion times by professionals my best tip for you is to HAVE MEALS EVERY DAY, at the SAME TIME, as much as possible within 30 minutes. It is incredible - and I mean INCREDIBLE to us that once we established breakfast, (school did lunch) and dinner at 6:30-7:00 pm every night - how much improvement there was with certain "battles" with Dude. </p><p> </p><p>And other rules where food are STUCK TO LIKE glue - ? </p><p> </p><p>If you do NOT eat DINNER you don't get to "graze" or "roam" in the kitchen - PERIOD, NO EXCUSES, momma is NOT going to sneak you a honey bun or a cracker - PERIOD! FINI! NO DISUSSION. </p><p> </p><p>If you do NOT eat Lunch 12:00-13:30 on the weekends? Then you get NOTHING no snack, nothing nothing nothing until Dinner - whichi is at 6:30 - 7:00 </p><p> </p><p>We had the "I'm going to starve", "I'm never eating again." and on and on. Now if we made something that he decided he absolutely would not even try- THEN I had Dude back up food and he could have that instead, but he ate with us, at the same time we ate and at the table together. Some nights we ate dinner in the den, with the tv going - but it was amazing to see that we had gotten into the habit of talking to each other at the table and talked right through the tv show that was on. </p><p> </p><p>It's very, very hard to establish and stick to eating times, but time and again - with any behavior specialist or psychiatrist that we talked to they consistantly asked if we eat at a specific time. It takes time - but it's worth it. And FYI - they do NOT die from not eating dinner and going to bed hungry or just missing a meal is a FANTASTIC motivator. Giving in later with the toaster strudel understandle - but not worth it - he's actually training you that if he doesn't like what is being served or had "BETTER" things to do during dinner - YOU will feed him something, sometime and thus he's training you to bend YOUR schedule to fit his needs and at his age - his needs should be learning to eat when you the parent says "Dinner time." </p><p> </p><p>In our home - there was a snack basket and a fruit basket. Crackers, and packs of peanuts - that he COULD have if he asked between meals and IF he ATE his meals. As a single Mom before DF came into our lives - it was hard to have worked all day, then clean, laundry etc....and then COOK on top of it all. I swear I think my son grew up on KidCuisine. I was working 3 jobs and probably could have cooked a weeks worth of food on Saturday - but who does that anymore? </p><p> </p><p>It's a small battle to win as a parent - but in the long run - many small battles won helps towards the ultimate goal. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 158539, member: 4964"] You can win the battle but loose the war in the long run. And I'm not talking about you Adrianne - I'm referring to toaster strudel boy. IF it is possible in your home, since you are the proud owner of a difficult child and after being told a gazillion times by professionals my best tip for you is to HAVE MEALS EVERY DAY, at the SAME TIME, as much as possible within 30 minutes. It is incredible - and I mean INCREDIBLE to us that once we established breakfast, (school did lunch) and dinner at 6:30-7:00 pm every night - how much improvement there was with certain "battles" with Dude. And other rules where food are STUCK TO LIKE glue - ? If you do NOT eat DINNER you don't get to "graze" or "roam" in the kitchen - PERIOD, NO EXCUSES, momma is NOT going to sneak you a honey bun or a cracker - PERIOD! FINI! NO DISUSSION. If you do NOT eat Lunch 12:00-13:30 on the weekends? Then you get NOTHING no snack, nothing nothing nothing until Dinner - whichi is at 6:30 - 7:00 We had the "I'm going to starve", "I'm never eating again." and on and on. Now if we made something that he decided he absolutely would not even try- THEN I had Dude back up food and he could have that instead, but he ate with us, at the same time we ate and at the table together. Some nights we ate dinner in the den, with the tv going - but it was amazing to see that we had gotten into the habit of talking to each other at the table and talked right through the tv show that was on. It's very, very hard to establish and stick to eating times, but time and again - with any behavior specialist or psychiatrist that we talked to they consistantly asked if we eat at a specific time. It takes time - but it's worth it. And FYI - they do NOT die from not eating dinner and going to bed hungry or just missing a meal is a FANTASTIC motivator. Giving in later with the toaster strudel understandle - but not worth it - he's actually training you that if he doesn't like what is being served or had "BETTER" things to do during dinner - YOU will feed him something, sometime and thus he's training you to bend YOUR schedule to fit his needs and at his age - his needs should be learning to eat when you the parent says "Dinner time." In our home - there was a snack basket and a fruit basket. Crackers, and packs of peanuts - that he COULD have if he asked between meals and IF he ATE his meals. As a single Mom before DF came into our lives - it was hard to have worked all day, then clean, laundry etc....and then COOK on top of it all. I swear I think my son grew up on KidCuisine. I was working 3 jobs and probably could have cooked a weeks worth of food on Saturday - but who does that anymore? It's a small battle to win as a parent - but in the long run - many small battles won helps towards the ultimate goal. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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