Andre has been arrested!!

[ChefPaula1965]

Good morning!!
It is Wednesday.. mid week!
Andre called me two days ago to inform me he was back in jail (don't you hate those expensive collect calls?).. The charges he was picked up for are just the old ones and failure to appear in court. These charges are posession of controlled substance ( I think with intent to sell) 2DUI, and giving wrong information to arresting oficer!! ...
That is it... they have not drawn up any new charges on him! but he seemed determined that he will be there for a long time possibly in federal prison for at least 7-10 years....
I feel like a bad parent being glad that my child is in jail... but my thinking is that he cannot get into huge amounts of trouble there.. and his gang doesn't have access to him...
But, I have learned through time and on this site that I should not feel guilty for the choices Andre has made... I did the best that I could with him.. I love him deeply and miss him... but the boy that was close to me... loved me... did fun things together... That Andre doesn't exist right now... he needs to follow a disciplined life...
Andre still doesn't understand that there are consequences to his behaviors and that he is in jail of his own fault... no one made those choices for him....
I love this site though my limitied ability to sit up at the computer keeps me away frequently... I wish I could afford a lap top computer so I could prop myself up on the couch and go surfing! LOL !! \

 

[slsh]

Paula, I'm glad you know where he is now. Sorry it's come to this, truly sorry, but I have to say you sound very strong.

You're right - his choices. I'm not sure it ever gets easy to watch them deal with the consequences, but I think we have to find a way to at least be at peace a bit.

And yeah, those collect calls can wreck any budget.

Hang in there and be sure to take good care of yourself!

 

[ChefPaula1965]

Thank you so much for your word of encouragement.
I am getting stronger... have had to get tough this year w not being able to work.. waiting almost a year now for disability... Growing kids, 13 yo daughter!! do you know that my diva is Always right?? hormones.. The problems with Andre started very early in his life while I was a single parent and have not stopped. I can only think of how things would be if my mother had not meddled in our raising Andre, comming to his rescue from "harsh" discipline.. had us investigated several times... they never found any ground.. But Andre grew up know that grandma was only a phone call away when he could not stand the heat at home... She would take him.... to get ice cream... and toys... Hummmmmmmmmm so much for discipline!!

 

[everywoman]

I'm glad you know where he is and that he is safe. Sometimes that is all we can hope for. It is very hard to watch your child to continue to make bad choices. They do have to learn that their are consequences that mommy can not take away---or grandma---or daddy.