Andre is missing

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ChefPaula1965, Mar 5, 2008.

  1. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Hi!! I have to appologize for disapearing for so long!!
    I have so much to say....:whiteflag:
    Last time you "heard" from me my mother had custody of difficult child..
    He is now 17 and successfully completed Basic Training in the Army.
    (long story will elaborate in later post)
    Andre went AWOL on 02/16 and has not been seen since.... This is very scarry since he has a difficult child patern of self destruct with cocaine.. etc...
    we had thought that, finally, he was making head way...
    How could we even dare to believe that????????? :furious:
    I dont know what to do or say, nor am I sure what the Army is doing to help find him.. He is now considered a deserter... and faces probably 5 years in levenworth.......... unless he turns him self in...
    I need help trying to set up a "missing child" report.....
    I am desparate .. and heart broken!
    Please help!!
    Thanks Paula
    (previously known as ChefPaula1965)
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Good to see you, sorry under such circumstances.

    I'm sorry I don't have much advice or any words of wisdom, just know I'm praying for you.
  3. dirobb

    dirobb I am a CD addict

    Paula, Sorry to hear this. Saying prayers. Hopefully you will have some answers soon.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful



    I'm so sorry difficult child has went AWOL. Has he been missing long? Any clues on his where abouts?

    Sending many ((((hugs)))) and saying a prayer he is found quickly.
  5. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Hi Daisy... he has been missing since February 16th !! Wayyyyyyyyyyy to long!!
  6. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Is he familiar with the area he went missing from? Sorry you returned under missing circumstances, but we are here for you whenever......
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    What does your local police say? Who has legal custody of him? Have you spoken with anyone at ARMY to see what they are doing, if anything at all, to find him? Have you spoken with any of his friends (old/new) or people he hung out with in boot camp? Will you be able to?

    Please tell us what you do know so far and who you've spoken to and what they've said.

    I will keep you and your son in my thoughts that he's okay and found soon!!
  8. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Wow.. lots of questions.. I am sorry, it looks like i just kinda came and was rudimental with info.
    **at this time... my mother still has custody of him... (though he left her home to come back to me... we did not want to have to go through the court system again..
    He was already 17!!...
    ***he is not familiar with his area, he was last seen in VA beach VA... but could be anywhere..
    **unfortunately I have no links to any of his friends from boot camp or from his specialized training..
    **the sargent tells me that he is now a DESERTER.. and they are looking for him.. but they are not very good with giving information...
    **I have not been able to reach any of his current friends..
    **I do have his cell phone number and call him everyday... 2 days ago he sent me a text message "i am ok. I love you. I will call soon." and my brother in law told my mother that he has posted on his "my space" as to them giving me any info about what he posted or even his user name and private password.. they just tell me that it is "irrelevant to you, Paula"...
    In other words, I am pretty much on my own.... .. and getting very frustrated!!! :furious:
  9. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    oh yes, and I don't think the local police knows anything since he is not missing locally... could be anywhere in the country1!!!!
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I was just thinking about the other day. I wondered how you are, how andre is, and how your health is doing.

    I am so very sorry to hear that he is missing, and this is just WAY too long for him to be gone.

    I hope that he shows up soon. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.


  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey...sorry to hear what is going on.

    My son was a MP in the Marines so I know a bit about what happens with this subject.

    Number one...if Andre is in the Army, he is no longer considered a child but an emancipated adult so none of you has custody...well except the US Army.

    Two...if he turns himself in he probably wont get time at Levenworth...but a dishonorable discharge and maybe some time in the brig until they sort it out. If he is found with drugs in his system, it will be worse on him though.

    The army isnt going to tell you much either. They think you may be hiding him.
  12. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    I is so nice to be "home":redface: thank you all for your caring responses.
    Susie, do you know if they would be "actively" seeking him? or are they just on some type of standby??
    Thanks for the info on the custody.. much better that my mother not have custody.. How can I help them find him? how can I set him up in a national "missing person" report?
    Thanks Paula
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    Janet or Coookie might have better insight as to if the Army is actively seeking him. I would think a police report should be filed? Or would his Army station do that? I am not sure.

    I will do some research and let you know if I find anything.


  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your grief. on the other hand, if you know he is "alive and well", I think you need to review the Detachment #101 course. He is making the choices as a young adult. You can do nothing to change those choices. He will have to live with the consequences.

    I don't mean to be mean. It's just a fact that the Serenity Prayer is "the"
    prayer for you to be concentrating on. Thank heavens he is alive. DDD
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911

  16. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    I am so sorry that Andre is missing. You must be out of your mind with worry. I am glad that at least you got a text, at this time, you know he is OK.

    I will keep my fingers crossed that he turns himself in soon.

  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Most likely...Andre got a wild hair up his behind and may have left with more than one fellow soldier who suggested it. Now he knows he messed up and is probably scared of the consequences. If you get a message to him, tell him to be a man and turn himself in before anyone actually finds him. They will be looking for him at least half heartedly. They have probably already flagged his ID or drivers license with the AWOL status. Should he even get stopped by a cop they would hold him for the MP's. He really doesnt want all that drama.
  18. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Hugs to you. Does the Army know that he has contacted you by texting and that he is on myspace? I'm pretty sure they can find out from myspace where he is posting from. They can trace the IP address or whatever it's called. Even with texting I think they can figure out where he is.

    You are in my thoughts.
  19. AprilH

    AprilH Guest

    Hi there-
    Just retired from the Army here about two months ago and a soldier from my company went AWOL awhile back. The Army is going to put him on 'DFR' status (Dropped From Roles) 30 days from being flagged as AWOL. Once he is determined to be a DFR, his Sergeant and company will clear him from their company roles, turn in all his equipment and clear him from his Army post that he was stationed at. IF he turns himself in before he is flagged as DFR, he will still have a fighting chance to salvage his Army career (so long as until now he has been a solid performer) though not without repercussions, i.e, losing some rank, probably restriction to the barracks for 45 days, extra duty, etc...if he turns himself in and drugs are in his system, then he is more than likely S.O.L. If you have any way of passing a message, let him know that his days are numbered with regards to trying to mitigate the damage to his career, and to turn himself in at ANY military post, of ANY nearest branch of service to where he is at. His I.D. card will do the talking for him. Once he is determined to be DFR, a Deserter, the Army will not waste their time or resources to find him, BUT, once he is caught by a police officer for speeding, or trying to get his taxes done, he will be hung out to dry. Best of luck to you.
  20. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Good moring all!!
    Thank you so much for all your responses. April, it is good to at least know what Andre is up against. They told me that they are not "actively" seeking him but that he is bound to be caught up with.
    Andre is safe, and this is comforting to me.. I understand with my head about the detachment... I understand with my head that he will be a victim of his own bad choices... My BIGGEST concern right now is that he is NOT SAFE from himself.. He has a nasty drug habit, including cocaine and RX .. He has been know to deal these on his high school campus. Until he is caught, and put away, I worry about his safety. I know there is ABSOLUTELY nothing I can do and my hands are tied right now.
    I will try to send him a text to ask him to please turn himself in before it is too late. I doubt that he will take my advise, but at least I will have tried!!
    It is so good to be back home...
    I will be trying to get my password back for the ChefPaula1965 name..
    Thank you all for all your thoughts and prayers..
    Paula :wornout::wornout::bloodshot::bloodshot::i'mback::i'mback::warrior: