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Substance Abuse
Anger versus hurt
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 561634" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>I have my days where I feel sorry for myself - after my easy child/difficult child turned easy child grew (got scared out of) the drug phase I actually thought my difficult child from birth would too.</p><p></p><p>My sister said he put me through hell and I agree. I was not able to have children after my first (surprise!) and after a large family of sisters I wanted a boy desperately. Raising a demading child on my own while working was difficult to say the least. He is so much like his father it is scary - nature or nuture - I am not sure - may be both. I had to work to get us out of poverty and he has said he raised himself many times - may be I would have been better off to have gone on welfare. I have a gut feeling that he would only find another excuse for his life style.</p><p></p><p>I am dissappointed in his life choices - but I accept that they are MY expectations for his life, and not his. My son seems to not be able to get his life stable, in fact it just contiues to get worse! He is 34 and thinks I should write him a check when ever he texts. He does not call - he could collect - so there is no excuse. I really have no idea where he is and apparently he wants it that way. </p><p></p><p>When my difficult child was 14 he was panhandling and living in the woods. He does not want that life style - but he still wants to use drugs, alcohol, and attend every concert he can. He also plans to get his 4 year degree, the fact that he has no means of support has not occured to him.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure if my son has mental problems from years of drug and alcohol abuse (at a very early age) or it is simply he is still abusing that makes him act and think the way he does. He is extremely immature and lives in the moment with no thought of the future. He has had many chances and is very intelligent, but is and always has been a follower. He has only had a few easy child friends and they don't stay around long.</p><p></p><p>I tried the optimistic, so glad to hear from you, look how far you have come in the year, ignore the fact that you never call holidays and do not know when my birthday is. It hasn't worked and he isn't trying to get his life under control.</p><p></p><p>I have no idea what will become of my son's life, I do know that he will not contact me in any way if I do not give him money. I may never hear from my son again, he is on a dangerous road, and I feel he is getting to the age where he came to the crossroads and took the wrong path and can't find his way to a safer path. It was always so sad to see the older men in rehab complaing that their families did not want any contact with them. They don't understand how draining it is for your life to revolve around their drug use. </p><p></p><p>I am so working on acceptance, living in the moment, thankful for the wonderful things I have in my life, there are so many. It is sad for me to finally accept I can not help him, but I have a life too, and until he gets 'clean and sober' I don't think he will be around very much. His addicition has taken control again, I pray for him, and go on with my life.</p><p></p><p>Peace for us all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 561634, member: 13558"] I have my days where I feel sorry for myself - after my easy child/difficult child turned easy child grew (got scared out of) the drug phase I actually thought my difficult child from birth would too. My sister said he put me through hell and I agree. I was not able to have children after my first (surprise!) and after a large family of sisters I wanted a boy desperately. Raising a demading child on my own while working was difficult to say the least. He is so much like his father it is scary - nature or nuture - I am not sure - may be both. I had to work to get us out of poverty and he has said he raised himself many times - may be I would have been better off to have gone on welfare. I have a gut feeling that he would only find another excuse for his life style. I am dissappointed in his life choices - but I accept that they are MY expectations for his life, and not his. My son seems to not be able to get his life stable, in fact it just contiues to get worse! He is 34 and thinks I should write him a check when ever he texts. He does not call - he could collect - so there is no excuse. I really have no idea where he is and apparently he wants it that way. When my difficult child was 14 he was panhandling and living in the woods. He does not want that life style - but he still wants to use drugs, alcohol, and attend every concert he can. He also plans to get his 4 year degree, the fact that he has no means of support has not occured to him. I am not sure if my son has mental problems from years of drug and alcohol abuse (at a very early age) or it is simply he is still abusing that makes him act and think the way he does. He is extremely immature and lives in the moment with no thought of the future. He has had many chances and is very intelligent, but is and always has been a follower. He has only had a few easy child friends and they don't stay around long. I tried the optimistic, so glad to hear from you, look how far you have come in the year, ignore the fact that you never call holidays and do not know when my birthday is. It hasn't worked and he isn't trying to get his life under control. I have no idea what will become of my son's life, I do know that he will not contact me in any way if I do not give him money. I may never hear from my son again, he is on a dangerous road, and I feel he is getting to the age where he came to the crossroads and took the wrong path and can't find his way to a safer path. It was always so sad to see the older men in rehab complaing that their families did not want any contact with them. They don't understand how draining it is for your life to revolve around their drug use. I am so working on acceptance, living in the moment, thankful for the wonderful things I have in my life, there are so many. It is sad for me to finally accept I can not help him, but I have a life too, and until he gets 'clean and sober' I don't think he will be around very much. His addicition has taken control again, I pray for him, and go on with my life. Peace for us all. [/QUOTE]
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