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General Parenting
Angry, dark, hate filled day
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 363571" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I understand those feelings of wanting it to JUST STOP. If his behavior were different, you wouldn't want to hurt him or be so angry. You will help him anyway you can but his behavior is really unhealthy for a family to exist. He creates the tension and dysfunction and not the other way around which is what therapists tend to imply. </p><p>Truth is, he is yours. The options are few and far between. I wish I could pretty it up for you but it's our burden to find a way to help difficult child and save the family. In my mind, the whole ship does not have to sink if one member has to sink. It's sad, it's heartbreaking and we search for every option available. </p><p>I would have a long talk with his psychiatrist about what options you have to put difficult child in a protected, structured environment. If difficult child in any way acts aggressive towards you or the baby, call the police. If you think he may be a danger, have a crisis safety plan. Don't wait until he is going to explode. Plan ahead how you must deal with his aggression. </p><p>There are some threads in archives that discuss having a safety plan. Calling the police also starts a paper trail in the event that you want to turn him in to be a ward of the state. It has been done before. </p><p>I'm sorry you are in a state of sadness and frustration. There isn't a one of us here who has dealt with rage after rage with a teen who doesn't want to turn around, walk out of the door and never come back. But we don't. We get up the next morning and try again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 363571, member: 3"] I understand those feelings of wanting it to JUST STOP. If his behavior were different, you wouldn't want to hurt him or be so angry. You will help him anyway you can but his behavior is really unhealthy for a family to exist. He creates the tension and dysfunction and not the other way around which is what therapists tend to imply. Truth is, he is yours. The options are few and far between. I wish I could pretty it up for you but it's our burden to find a way to help difficult child and save the family. In my mind, the whole ship does not have to sink if one member has to sink. It's sad, it's heartbreaking and we search for every option available. I would have a long talk with his psychiatrist about what options you have to put difficult child in a protected, structured environment. If difficult child in any way acts aggressive towards you or the baby, call the police. If you think he may be a danger, have a crisis safety plan. Don't wait until he is going to explode. Plan ahead how you must deal with his aggression. There are some threads in archives that discuss having a safety plan. Calling the police also starts a paper trail in the event that you want to turn him in to be a ward of the state. It has been done before. I'm sorry you are in a state of sadness and frustration. There isn't a one of us here who has dealt with rage after rage with a teen who doesn't want to turn around, walk out of the door and never come back. But we don't. We get up the next morning and try again. [/QUOTE]
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Angry, dark, hate filled day
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