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General Parenting
Angry, dark, hate filled day
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<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 363597" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>Honey, I TOTALLY get you. I've felt a lot of what you are feeling. And it is very, very hard. There were many times I was OK and thenit would just creep up on me like BAM!! and I'd want to cry on the spot. Still do. I think it is really hard, too, when they are living at your house and affecting the entire family. We lived through that and it was very, very difficult. Heartwrenching most of the time. Locking everything up, worrying when we weren't home and she was, the siblings listening to her "I hate you, I want to blow my head off" rants. Not pretty stuff. </p><p></p><p>My daughter is almost 19 now and we have not invited her back to live here, not with the choices she's making right now. It's been hard, too, in it's own way. But the rest of our family suffers less, and are able to sleep better at night. </p><p></p><p>I don't have much advice for you as you live through it. I know that getting outside help is hard. I know that kicking them out is impossible. I would definitely say that setting clear expectations, boundaries and rules is very important, as is not saving her from the possibility of getting herself in trouble. Sometimes that's what they need to actually get help. And I'll tell you - if you want help from the system (at least in MY experience), you want it through the juvenile system, and NOT the adult courts. My daughter got caught up in a domestic situation and ended up going to adult jail. The system for teenagers waived into adult court where I live is a hot, stinking, failure. BEG the school for resources if you can. Maybe there's something out there.</p><p></p><p>Peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 363597, member: 8620"] Honey, I TOTALLY get you. I've felt a lot of what you are feeling. And it is very, very hard. There were many times I was OK and thenit would just creep up on me like BAM!! and I'd want to cry on the spot. Still do. I think it is really hard, too, when they are living at your house and affecting the entire family. We lived through that and it was very, very difficult. Heartwrenching most of the time. Locking everything up, worrying when we weren't home and she was, the siblings listening to her "I hate you, I want to blow my head off" rants. Not pretty stuff. My daughter is almost 19 now and we have not invited her back to live here, not with the choices she's making right now. It's been hard, too, in it's own way. But the rest of our family suffers less, and are able to sleep better at night. I don't have much advice for you as you live through it. I know that getting outside help is hard. I know that kicking them out is impossible. I would definitely say that setting clear expectations, boundaries and rules is very important, as is not saving her from the possibility of getting herself in trouble. Sometimes that's what they need to actually get help. And I'll tell you - if you want help from the system (at least in MY experience), you want it through the juvenile system, and NOT the adult courts. My daughter got caught up in a domestic situation and ended up going to adult jail. The system for teenagers waived into adult court where I live is a hot, stinking, failure. BEG the school for resources if you can. Maybe there's something out there. Peace. [/QUOTE]
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