I am losing my mind. Dealing with difficult child issues. I am pretty much isolated at home. I really got sick of people who know nothing about these special children and their issues telling me how to parent or what I was doing wrong. Ecspecially those without kids. Anyway, I am too embarrased to have anyone over because I know there will be a scene. So I adopted too many animals. 4 cats, Aurora (Rory), Mandy, Cassy and Whiskers. I then went and adopted an old lab (Lady) from the shelter. She has some cancerous tumors, I don't know if she will be around much longer. Then I bought the cutest golden retriever puppy. Broady. All my life I wanted a golden retriever and I got the attitude that I never do anything for myself, so I went and picked up Broady. He is 4 months old and he is adorable. I love spending time with him. I don't mind at all taking care of him. The problem is that I can't maintain caring for 6 animals anymore. I don't know what to do. I get up 2 hours before I really have to (5 AM) to take care of them all. Feed, clean crate, take outside, water, change kitty litter, feed the cats and then give them all some attention before we leave them alone all day. I can't keep my house clean. I am constantly cleaning and taking care of them. I just want to keep 2 of the cats and 2 of the dogs. has anyone ever gone thru this. I feel so guilty but with taking care of the kids and two jobs, it's really hard. Not much help from the kids until i threaten to find other homes for them. Any suggestions? I feel bad for even feeling this way. Urh.
Animal Lovers
- Thread starter Jody
- Start date
gcvmom
Here we go again!
Don't beat yourself up. At least you are concerned enough to care about the level of care you are able to provide them, and the rest of your family, to do something about it.
I would put the word out among you coworkers, neighbors, friends and see if anyone is interested in adopting one or both of the cats you need to re-home.
We got one of our cats from someone I knew who said it wasn't fitting in well with their home and family. Turns out he's one of the best pets we've ever had!
If no one you know will take the cats, ask your local vet about putting up an adoption notice in their lobby. Or even posting at your local market bulletin board. If they are decently behaved creatures you shouldn't have much trouble finding a home for them.
I would put the word out among you coworkers, neighbors, friends and see if anyone is interested in adopting one or both of the cats you need to re-home.
We got one of our cats from someone I knew who said it wasn't fitting in well with their home and family. Turns out he's one of the best pets we've ever had!
If no one you know will take the cats, ask your local vet about putting up an adoption notice in their lobby. Or even posting at your local market bulletin board. If they are decently behaved creatures you shouldn't have much trouble finding a home for them.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
First of all.........you shouldn't be doing it all.
Second some tips on feeding and care of multiple animals...........
Invest in those containers/dishes that hold several feedings of food/water at one time. Then no one is stuck with the chore of constantly feeding them. I suggested the dog food size even for the cats since you have 4.
Invest in one of those automated kitty boxes that does the scooping for you. From what I hear they are worth the money in a multiple cat household. I know it would be for me.
Another thing I used to do.......which ever kid volunteered to clean the dog poo out of the yard earned them a hefty sum of cash. We have 3 big dogs.......they produce alot of big poo, and let's be honest.....it's a dirty stinky job. I always gave them 5 bucks for dog poo, as long as they got it all and bagged it properly.
I also used to pay cash for bathing/helping me bath the dogs. Again, 3 big dogs and it can be a messy chore. If they helped me they didn't get much. Doing it alone could get them 5 bucks a dog. Hey, it's cheaper than a groomer. lol
Nichole raked in alot of cash that way. Often, once she got used to doing the bathing, clipping toe nails..she'd do that part for free as it didn't bother her and it was more messy than anything.
You should not have to get up 2 hrs before you normally would just to care for your pets. Mine all get fed at night at the same time and I enlist husband's help. He takes care of Rowdy and the outside cats. Takes maybe 10 mins. Inside cat's litter box I scoop when I pay a visit to the bathroom. His litterbox is in the adjacent laundry room. Quick and fast.
I'm gone up to 12 hrs during the day with school and travel time. I give Molly and Rowdy 20 mins each in the evening to play and get scratched. If they mind I don't see it. Bruce is content to lay anywhere I happen to be. Dogs do a lot of playing, entertaining each other in the back yard weather permitting.
If the suggestions I made don't work.......then I'd search for new homes for some of them. But thanks to the economy I'll warn you that re-housing a pet is much harder than it used to be.
Hugs
Second some tips on feeding and care of multiple animals...........
Invest in those containers/dishes that hold several feedings of food/water at one time. Then no one is stuck with the chore of constantly feeding them. I suggested the dog food size even for the cats since you have 4.
Invest in one of those automated kitty boxes that does the scooping for you. From what I hear they are worth the money in a multiple cat household. I know it would be for me.
Another thing I used to do.......which ever kid volunteered to clean the dog poo out of the yard earned them a hefty sum of cash. We have 3 big dogs.......they produce alot of big poo, and let's be honest.....it's a dirty stinky job. I always gave them 5 bucks for dog poo, as long as they got it all and bagged it properly.
I also used to pay cash for bathing/helping me bath the dogs. Again, 3 big dogs and it can be a messy chore. If they helped me they didn't get much. Doing it alone could get them 5 bucks a dog. Hey, it's cheaper than a groomer. lol
Nichole raked in alot of cash that way. Often, once she got used to doing the bathing, clipping toe nails..she'd do that part for free as it didn't bother her and it was more messy than anything.
You should not have to get up 2 hrs before you normally would just to care for your pets. Mine all get fed at night at the same time and I enlist husband's help. He takes care of Rowdy and the outside cats. Takes maybe 10 mins. Inside cat's litter box I scoop when I pay a visit to the bathroom. His litterbox is in the adjacent laundry room. Quick and fast.
I'm gone up to 12 hrs during the day with school and travel time. I give Molly and Rowdy 20 mins each in the evening to play and get scratched. If they mind I don't see it. Bruce is content to lay anywhere I happen to be. Dogs do a lot of playing, entertaining each other in the back yard weather permitting.
If the suggestions I made don't work.......then I'd search for new homes for some of them. But thanks to the economy I'll warn you that re-housing a pet is much harder than it used to be.
Hugs
Thank you for all the suggestions. I am going to try a few of those. I will have to see how it goes with the feeder issue. I would love it if it would work. I have two cats that are overweight, and really need their food intake watched. I will definately check out the automated kitty box. That sounds wonderful. I feel guilty that my puppy Broady has to be crated all day. 8 hours while I am at work, so I get him out early so he can have some exercise and play time. I said I never would have another puppy, but he is truly a joy. He is a beautiful deep brown/red with wavy hair. He is sweet, doesn't bite and so easily trained. I can't wait to get home and play with him. I am definately going to start delegating some of this responsibility to the kids and make them stick with it. I am going to offer them some money for some of it too. I give the dog the bath and pick up the dog poop in the yard with a bad back. Sometimes (and this is what they count on) it is just easier to do it, then listen to the complaining but not anymore, I am wore out. Thank you for the suggestions. Not scooping cat **** sounds wonderful.
maxeygirls
New Member
I had to weigh in here. I grew up with 13 animals all in my care. If I neglected so much as one feeding I lost them all. I never lost them. Now I have difficult child, easy child and 4 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment. It could be chaos and disaster but it isn't.
Must-haves and routine in my home are simple:
Two large Ikea dog bowls, one for food and one for water. Both checked daily.
Littermaid Elite Omega with premium Tidy Cats litter (cant remember the name, has a dark blue lid)-handles 4 cats effortlessly, I dump the receptacle daily and reuse it until it cracks.
One of those Bissel 3-in-1 stick vaccums dedicated to kitty litter and food. I run this 2x a day around the litter box and kitchen(laundry room is through there so it tracks). Ive tried mats to catch litter but it's just one more thing to clean.
Daily I spend less than 1/2 hour on all of this.
It works for me. It may or may not work for you.
Your sanity has to come first. There are people out there who would love your furry born ones as much as you and be able to give them the time that they need. Don't feel bad if you make that choice. I remember being in tears the day I brought our adopted dog back to the no-kill shelter but two years later when I had to bring difficult child's kitty back for similar reasons (behavioral, maybe could be corrected but with difficult child it's a lot to ask any critter to deal with) I knew he would have a good home.
Together husband and I have rescued, spayed/neutered and found homes for over 19 kitties. If you are careful you can find a good home. Just please don't feel guilty! You at least think of their needs as well as your own. Many people choose to neglect the animals and act as if they aren't there.
Maybe try giving each kid 1-2 daily tasks and letting them know that if the tasks aren't done, the critters go bye bye?
PS I had a dog, rabbit and bird till I was 9 then my list grew to running an unofficial bunny and cockatiel rescue and having 2-3 horses and a goat plus my little doggy. I was 12 when I had 13 animals and kept the number between 13 and 17 until I went to college where I promptly lost my mind without them.
Must-haves and routine in my home are simple:
Two large Ikea dog bowls, one for food and one for water. Both checked daily.
Littermaid Elite Omega with premium Tidy Cats litter (cant remember the name, has a dark blue lid)-handles 4 cats effortlessly, I dump the receptacle daily and reuse it until it cracks.
One of those Bissel 3-in-1 stick vaccums dedicated to kitty litter and food. I run this 2x a day around the litter box and kitchen(laundry room is through there so it tracks). Ive tried mats to catch litter but it's just one more thing to clean.
Daily I spend less than 1/2 hour on all of this.
It works for me. It may or may not work for you.
Your sanity has to come first. There are people out there who would love your furry born ones as much as you and be able to give them the time that they need. Don't feel bad if you make that choice. I remember being in tears the day I brought our adopted dog back to the no-kill shelter but two years later when I had to bring difficult child's kitty back for similar reasons (behavioral, maybe could be corrected but with difficult child it's a lot to ask any critter to deal with) I knew he would have a good home.
Together husband and I have rescued, spayed/neutered and found homes for over 19 kitties. If you are careful you can find a good home. Just please don't feel guilty! You at least think of their needs as well as your own. Many people choose to neglect the animals and act as if they aren't there.
Maybe try giving each kid 1-2 daily tasks and letting them know that if the tasks aren't done, the critters go bye bye?
PS I had a dog, rabbit and bird till I was 9 then my list grew to running an unofficial bunny and cockatiel rescue and having 2-3 horses and a goat plus my little doggy. I was 12 when I had 13 animals and kept the number between 13 and 17 until I went to college where I promptly lost my mind without them.
AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
Re the Littermaid - just be sure to keep up with it. We had one in Onyxx's bathroom - she swept it all behind the cabinet. It was slimy and disgusting when we discovered it months after we'd disposed of the littermaid.
Also I have 2 fat cats and one very skinny one. They have dry food at all times and get one spoonful of wet food when I get up. I gave up watching their weight...
Also I have 2 fat cats and one very skinny one. They have dry food at all times and get one spoonful of wet food when I get up. I gave up watching their weight...
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Great suggestions here.
Definitely, the kids help out.
I like the idea of combining chores and containers.
And ... I hate to say this, but ... I would put down Lady sooner rather than later. I am the worst one to say this because I am a huge wuss, but I have put down 3 of 4 dogs who needed it (the 4th died on the floor because I chickened out). It costs about $100, depending upon where you live. The vet ofc will probably allow you to pay in 4 payments.
Having had 4 dogs and a parakeet all at once, I know what a burden it can be, but I also know the joys, and I know how you fall in love with-a critter and have to take it home. It's like instant love.
And we seem to get so little, otherwise ...
Definitely, the kids help out.
I like the idea of combining chores and containers.
And ... I hate to say this, but ... I would put down Lady sooner rather than later. I am the worst one to say this because I am a huge wuss, but I have put down 3 of 4 dogs who needed it (the 4th died on the floor because I chickened out). It costs about $100, depending upon where you live. The vet ofc will probably allow you to pay in 4 payments.
Having had 4 dogs and a parakeet all at once, I know what a burden it can be, but I also know the joys, and I know how you fall in love with-a critter and have to take it home. It's like instant love.
And we seem to get so little, otherwise ...
maxeygirls
New Member
GET THE OMEGA ELITE!!!!! it's the only one made to handle multiple cats. Trust me, I've buried two of the other ones in the dumpster. I cried.
KTMom91
Well-Known Member
I agree with the delegating of chores...Miss KT feeds and waters the senior cats, I take care of my dog, and the feeding of panthers is a joint responsibility. Hubby is the litter box person, Miss KT does the bathing, and Hubby does the nail clipping. There is no way I could maintain our menagerie without delegating.
Good Morning,
I had to call the shelter where I got Lady and ask to bring her back. She bit my daughter this morning when she tried to put her in her crate. She left all of her teeth marks and a huge bruise and some bloody areas where her teeth punctured. I am so upset. They said that they will have to see if they can find a spot. I have to get her out of the house immediately. I love her but I cannot let this go on. If they can't take her I am going to have to put her to sleep. I hate that, because I think she could live in a home with no other animals or kids. The shelter acted like it must be something I am doing wrong. Why does it always come down to the parent, or in this case the dog mommy. Ugh.
I had to call the shelter where I got Lady and ask to bring her back. She bit my daughter this morning when she tried to put her in her crate. She left all of her teeth marks and a huge bruise and some bloody areas where her teeth punctured. I am so upset. They said that they will have to see if they can find a spot. I have to get her out of the house immediately. I love her but I cannot let this go on. If they can't take her I am going to have to put her to sleep. I hate that, because I think she could live in a home with no other animals or kids. The shelter acted like it must be something I am doing wrong. Why does it always come down to the parent, or in this case the dog mommy. Ugh.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Is Lady the one with the tumors? Odds are honey, you need to have her put down anyway. Sad to say. I doubt anyone will adopt her in that situation.....and especially after she bit your daughter. They are obligated to tell prospective adopters that a dog has bitten. Sounds like she was in pain......or maybe daughter touched the wrong spot while trying to put her into the crate and it hurt and she responded.
I don't let kids mess with my old dog Molly. She has arthritis really bad and while she's never done it, I won't risk her nipping, let alone biting someone. If she's gonna bite, it'll be me........and I seriously doubt she'd ever bite me, although she's been tempted on occasion. But she knows when Mommy is messing with her it's for good reason......but with kids, well hurting dogs don't usually trust them very far.
I would never consider adopting a dog who had bitten out of a shelter. Never. If it would bite someone it loved, what's it going to do to me, a perfect stranger?
I know it's heart breaking to consider, but in Lady's case it may be much kinder of you to put her down than take her back to the shelter.
Make sure to clean up daughter's wound really well. And keep a close eye on it. And expect to get a call. I think you're required to report dog bites that break the skin, and daughter might mention it at school.
((hugs))
I don't let kids mess with my old dog Molly. She has arthritis really bad and while she's never done it, I won't risk her nipping, let alone biting someone. If she's gonna bite, it'll be me........and I seriously doubt she'd ever bite me, although she's been tempted on occasion. But she knows when Mommy is messing with her it's for good reason......but with kids, well hurting dogs don't usually trust them very far.
I would never consider adopting a dog who had bitten out of a shelter. Never. If it would bite someone it loved, what's it going to do to me, a perfect stranger?
I know it's heart breaking to consider, but in Lady's case it may be much kinder of you to put her down than take her back to the shelter.
Make sure to clean up daughter's wound really well. And keep a close eye on it. And expect to get a call. I think you're required to report dog bites that break the skin, and daughter might mention it at school.
((hugs))
maxeygirls
New Member
Jody, Im so sorry! But I do agree with Daisylover regarding what may be best for Lady. I'd have her checked by a vet to see if her pain is possibly what caused it and evaluate her quality of life.
Regarding your daughter, please be sure the bite is clean and watch your daughter's arm for little red lines going up the veins. If you see any of that then it means the infection hit the blood stream and she needs antibiotics quick. It's more common with kitties because of their needle-like teeth but I've seen it on a couple bad dog bites too.
My heart goes out to you, it's never easy making decisions like these.
Regarding your daughter, please be sure the bite is clean and watch your daughter's arm for little red lines going up the veins. If you see any of that then it means the infection hit the blood stream and she needs antibiotics quick. It's more common with kitties because of their needle-like teeth but I've seen it on a couple bad dog bites too.
My heart goes out to you, it's never easy making decisions like these.
Hi, thanks for all the suggestions. I looked at her hand and it does't look nearly as bad as it did. Lady goes to the vet again on Tuesday. I found a really easy to clean kitty box. I bought two of them. It is a covered box and you roll it on it's side and the cat **** goes into a little tray and you just pull it out and dump, I bought more expensive kitty litter. I also bought the feeder, and water thing that you don't have to fill often. I think this will help. I also made a chart for the girls to follow and if they don't they lose their computer privelages that evening and no phone. I bet it gets done. Thank you for your help. I really love my animals it was jut overwhelming. I gave them all some attention, not as much as I normally do, but I know that they will be okay. They are loved, fed, safe, warm, and they have veterinary care. They will be alright if I spend 30 minutes less with them each day. I am going to take at least that much time for myself everyday.
About my Lady. I am not going to allow her in the room alone with the girls. I am going to monitor her closely and take her to the vets office. She has always been super gentle, something must be bothering her. She lays everynight at the foot of my difficult child's bed. She won't sleep with me because she wants to protect her every night. So strange that this happened.
About my Lady. I am not going to allow her in the room alone with the girls. I am going to monitor her closely and take her to the vets office. She has always been super gentle, something must be bothering her. She lays everynight at the foot of my difficult child's bed. She won't sleep with me because she wants to protect her every night. So strange that this happened.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
I'm so glad you've taken measures to take the over load off your shoulders.
As per Lady...........yep. Sounds like she is in pain, poor baby. And glad you're taking her to be seen by the vet. Most people don't know there are pain medications for pets.
My Molly adores kids. But now that her arthritis is so severe......she tends to avoid them other than a brief greeting. I think she's afraid they may touch her where she hurts. Which is why my grandkids aren't allowed to play with her or mess with her unless I'm right there. And even then it's fairly brief.
As per Lady...........yep. Sounds like she is in pain, poor baby. And glad you're taking her to be seen by the vet. Most people don't know there are pain medications for pets.
My Molly adores kids. But now that her arthritis is so severe......she tends to avoid them other than a brief greeting. I think she's afraid they may touch her where she hurts. Which is why my grandkids aren't allowed to play with her or mess with her unless I'm right there. And even then it's fairly brief.
