Annual Tears, Jeers, & Grumbles Mother Day Thread

[Momslittleangels]

I remember the worst Mothers Day ever. Tony took me and the boys fishing. I thought we were going for a nice drive. I was livid. On Fathers Day, I think I took him to a chick flick!

I sure hope you made him watch Steel Magnolias or Terms of Endearment.

When my kids were younger, the only thing I asked for on Mother's Day was to avoid any fighting. Having a pleasant, quiet day meant more to me than any gift or card. But for the most part, we never did anything or went out to eat (too crowded).....I would just have husband barbeque or something. This year, we were called out of town, so husband and I will get a nice car ride. Works for me.....

 

[SRL]

I remember the worst Mothers Day ever. Tony took me and the boys fishing. I thought we were going for a nice drive. I was livid. On Fathers Day, I think I took him to a chick flick!

Maybe Tony is related to my dad? Once for my mom's birthday he bought her the fishing rod and reel that HE always wanted. You can imagine how well that went over.

I made it really easy on my family this year. We love the TV show Chuck and I was wanting the Season 2 DVD's. I noticed the price creeping up on Amazon a few weeks ago and since there wasn't anyone else home but me I pushed the buy button myself. I might need to rethink this strategy as my oldest son told me his friends were planning on what they were going to do for his moms and he told them I just took care of it myself. I wouldn't want to rob him ;-) of the opportunity of...you know, driving a mile to the store to buy a Hallmark.

 

[ML]

I think it should be "celebrate woman" day instead.

For so many years this day was an ache in my heart due to 13 years of painful infertility. Now, I force myself to focus on the blessings of being a mother instead of the challenges. I'm fortunate that manster still gets excited about giving me gifts and can barely contain himself, bursting to tell me what it is. Of course my mother gets involved and helps him with that. Manster is very young and sweet for his age. Maybe that's the AS but it's kind of nice having that quality around a bit longer.

I called mom to ask her how she wanted to spend the day and we decided to go out for Chinese. I told husband if the stepsons called to ask about the day (though I highly doubt it) they were invited. If I had a bash and invited them they'd likely show but I'm not going to force them to come to celebrate me. That's not fair to them or to me.

I'm actually looking forward to the day. I believe I may finally get my WI fit. Perhaps if I do I can show my face around the HL forum

ML

 

[tiredmommy]

I'm straddling both worlds this year. My mother died in January and even though we weren't close I do find myself somewhat befuddled this year. Couple that with a mother in law that enjoys being difficult with others and I'm really not in the mood to be too festive.

But then there's Duckie... and she makes me smile.

 

[hearts and roses]

{{Smallworld}} - Cherish every moment you have with your mom, but also remember those times that came before the evil cancer.

{{Threeshadows}} - I'm so sorry that was your experience with your mom. My mom said a lot of evil things to us (her daughters) growing up and managed to find ways of making us feel small. But despite all of that, we (you and us) we manage to find a way to make ourselves important to both ourselves and others! Cherish and celebrate the ways in which you're wonderful, because you are!

ML - sounds like you have a nice day lined up. difficult child blurted out to me that she and easy child are taking me to a Mother's Day brunch. Yum.

 

[witzend]

I may actually get what I want this year. While M did call yesterday and asked about Mother's Day - why is it I'm supposed to plan this day? - I haven't heard word one from L. Maybe I'll actually get the quiet day in the yard to finish projects that I really wanted!

I have asked L when she asks the past 4 or 5 years to come help me in the yard for Mother's Day. I'd like to spend the day with her doing a little weeding and planting some annuals. She always refuses. We always end up out for dinner and we have to buy dinner for husband ourselves. I hate it.

M was more interested in conspiracy theories about his roommate and his mom. Gladly when I said that I had no plans, he took it no further.

 

[donna723]

Mothers Day is not one of my favorites either, especially after being married to the worlds worst "D"H for 20 years. Lots of bad memories there. But things have been looking up now since I'm on my own now and the kids are grown up. My son actually took me to dinner (once) and my daughter and sister in law sent me flowers (once), but usually it's a card.

Last year was probably the best Mother's Day I've ever had, even though we didn't really do much to celebrate! This time last year I was in South Carolina, spending a week at my daughter's home. She had just given birth to my grandson a few days before. He wasn't due till after Mother's Day but he decided to come three weeks early so she got to celebrate her very first Mother's Day and I got to celebrate my first Mother's Day as a grandma! I doubt if they can top that for this year!

 

[ThreeShadows]

Hugs to those of you who had good mothers and lost them. Hugs to those who were never blessed with loving mothers.

My best Mothers Day was when easy child was six. The weather was perfect, I made a big mediterranean spread, the kind my father's family used to make in the South of France. She and I sat on the porch in Maine and the birds were singing, chickadees were stopping by, the hummingbirds were buzzing at the hanging fuschias. easy child and I had an olive pit spitting contest just as my cousins and I had when I was a child. She was amazed to find that this event was relished and condoned by a mother who had taught her table manners!

It's strange how a feeling of being in paradise can come from something so simple as joining the past with the present.

 

[GoingNorth]

At least husband and I were both into fishing. I fish left handed despite being right handed (Dad was left handed so I learned on southpaw tackle). One year husband found me an antique Garcia spinning reel built to be lefthanded (not made with a switchable handle...it had to be at least 40 years old) and completely overhauled it for me and restored it.

It reminded me so much of fishing with my dad, who died young just like husband did, that it made me cry (not easy to do). Of course, husband liked chick flicks better than I do as well.

 

[donna723]

Like TM, I sometimes find myself sort of befuddled on Mothers Days now. I keep feeling like I should be DOING something, then I realize that there's nothing to do! My mom's been gone for 24 years now, no more mother-in-law. I guess my daughter and I will just call each other! Seems funny though. Gifts and cards are OK but what I would REALLY like is for my son to just spend some time with me ... maybe even the whole day, but that's not gonna happen! He'll do something, probably a phone call, but he's just got too much going on and problems with his truck, so I doubt if I see him ... unless I want to drive over there and I just don't feel like doing that!

 

[Nomad]

This is almost always a very hard day for me. For one thing, my own mother died young. Then, there is difficult child "stuff." difficult child just realized Mother's Day is tomorrow...today. We are visiting our son, although there are other reasons to be in the area and actually, we will only see him briefly. Surely, when our children are older and somertimes even live in different parts of the coutnry, it is not likely to be ideallic. But having a difficult child in the picture, often adds a little extra difficulty. Oh well. I am grateful for whatever positives come from the day and I concentrate on good experiences felt throughtout the year.
Wishing all on this board and particularly on the PE Forum a very HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

 

[muttmeister]

Ordinarily I don't care much about mother's day one way or the other. When my kids were little they often brought me breakfast in bed. That was always special, even though I sometimes spent the next 3 hours cleaning the kitchen.

My mother will be 96 in September and is in good shape (for her age) in mind and body so I feel lucky to still have her. We go to church and eat out every Sunday but on Mother's Day all of the places to eat around here are so crowded that you can't get in so I decided to barbeque steaks. I had invited younger difficult child, his wife, and their 3 kids but last night she left and took the kids so I guess it will probably just be me and my mother.

I will miss the grandkids but it will be quiet. We will eat and I will take her home. Then I will watch the new Tom Selleck movie on TV, eat a hot fudge sundae, and cuddle the two "kids" who really love me (the two dogs).

I have two kids, three grandkids, and two step grandkids. I got three cards: one from my aunt, one from my cousin, and one from a board member. I guess that shows something.

 

[Wiped Out]

husband always tries to make it a special day for me. The kiddos, on the other hand, not so much. Some years easy child/difficult child has tried to make it a special day, other years barely spoken to me (when she was little though she always made it special). difficult child, well let's just say this year particularly I'm not expecting much. He might say Happy Mother's Day depending on his mood, however, the next moment he might me swearing at me or worse.

 

[Andy]

I don't like Mother's Day (Or my birthday or the part of Christmas that people think they need to give me anything). It seems all so phony to me (I must have secretly been born to the religious groups that don't celebrate birthdays or holidays because I totally understand why). I hate that my family asks me what I want and then tries to fullfill it. I do not want something expected - I do not want my desires filled - I want them to give from their heart - something they would like me to have. That is a lot more meaningful than filling a wish list. No joy opening something you KNOW you are going to get because they asked you what you wanted.

For years and years I have been telling my family that I do not want anything and I whole heartly mean it. Why should I get treated any different just because a day has a title? I don't want to be treated like crap every other day of the year and just because it is my birthday or Mother's Day these kids decide they have to be nice? No, if you want to give me the gift of being nice, I want it EVERY day. Once I get treated with respect EVERY day, then we can think about how to celebrate the "special" days.

I have a feeling however that this year's Mother's Day just might (emphasis on "might") be special because Diva now has the means on her own to give me something. She gave me an awesome photo frame for my birthday that stated "mothers are those who can take the place of all others" (or something like that). With what the two of us have gone through, she is NOT going to give me anything just because it is the day and she has to. She really will give something meaningful because SHE wants to, not because she has to. We are at the point that if I get anything from her it is a sign that our relationship is healing and strengthening.

This year, we have had a great year! Everything is going very well for all of us and I don't mind a little bit of celebrating because of that (just don't put the spot light too brightly on me).

 

[Marguerite]

It's Mothers Day here now. I don't think difficult child 3 has realised it is - but ten, that's why he's a difficult child. Totally oblivious unless I tell him, and I'm not telling him.

Yesterday I was out with easy child 2/difficult child 2, and when I dropped her home she said, "Have a happy Mothers Day tomorrow." That will be all I get form her, but it is enough for me. She remembered without prompting and I know she loves me. We had a good day yesterday even though most of the time she was chatting to our young friend in the back seat, while us mothers talked.

Of the other two - daughter in law might remind difficult child 1 to call or text a message. He probably won't remember, unless it gets mentioned in church. That's what happened last year, he admitted then - the minister mentioned it was Mothers Day and he snick out to send me a quick text message!

easy child generally remembers, but this year might forget in the excitement and rush of being in their new home.

husband & I are about to leave to collect mother in law for our day in the city. Hopefully the traffic won't be snarled like it was yesterday - a nasty truck accident in one of Sydney's arterial tunnels had a bad knock-on effect in every direction around the city. Nobody injured, just a truck with too big a load trying to squeeze into a tunnel and not quite succeeding. It took them almost 12 hours to clear the wrecked earthmoving equipment...

SO I will enjoy my day whether the kids remember or not. I know that at some point they WILl remember (even if it's in six months time) and their consciences will prick.

I know my kids love me - so it's OK. We've never made a fuss, the kids know I don't like watching flowers die in a vase and I'm on a diet so no chockies please (OK, one or two).

So we're off to see a play. A good one, for mothers everywhere who sometimes feel a bit mischievous. That's me. And mother in law.

Enjoy your day, however it comes. Because even if nobody else notices, that day has been set aside for your recognition and if YOU can recognise yourself in your heart, then it has done its job.

Marg

 

[SRL]

SRL, good idea about buying ready made food.

Well, I certainly thought so. That worked the last two years but here I am making two blasted cakes to take tomorrow. The plan sister in law and I talked about was to carry in but what she settled on with mother in law was to bring in the main dish and one of them cut up veggies, then sister in law said she'd cut up fruit and make a cake. It was a no-win for me right there. I show up empty handed then I'm the only one to not contribute. I leave it to sister in law to bake and knowing her she'll (seriously) start about the time we arrive and we'll be there all night. I bring a store-bought cake and I look like a heel, because I'm very much a baker.

*%$@ I know it's only one day of the year but it really fries me. The one way to put an end to it would be to have it at my house and that would be worse because then I'd have to CLEAN too.

So, whose bright idea was this holiday anyway?

Hmmmmm....

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/36969170/ns/today-mothers_day_guide/

Jarvis dies at age 84, alone and penniless over the various battles she waged over the holiday she started.

That figures. She should have bought stock in Hallmark.

 

[tiredmommy]

Bring the wine... a really good bottle or two.

 

[SRL]

Bring the wine... a really good bottle or two.

They don't drink at family gatherings. Ever. Someone did bring me a bottle of wine when I hosted Easter and I served it, but it was hardly touched. I know some do, but for some reasons it's taboo at family gatherings.

Maybe I should just break out that wine I was saving for paremesan chicken. You know, better baking through consumption of alcoholic beverages.

 

[witzend]

I think that I will end up staining the deck tomorrow. husband put his back out today getting it ready. It would be nice to have some help, but I guess that's not going to happen.

 

[SRL]

This year I started my special day out with breakfast in bed.

In my world, that means the cat woke me up at 4:30 am, determined for me to get out of bed and feed him his breakfast.