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Another big meltdown
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<blockquote data-quote="Ktllc" data-source="post: 578625" data-attributes="member: 11847"><p>When talking about V's meltdowns and how to manage it with an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) specialist recently, I was ask "What are his coping skills?" I had NO clue! I even asked her to explain the question to me... BAsically: what does he know to do or say when he gets upset, angry? Right now: V has almost no coping skills. </p><p>So my question to you: what are J's coping skills? If any or just emergent. Work on those when he is quiet. Give him concrete examples on what he can do and say to calm himself or seek help to calm himself. You can start we what YOU do to keep yourself calm. It is not a magic bullet or even a quick solution, but it is something that needs to be talked about and worked on. In our case, V can choose between 3 things: ask for a break (go in his room until calmed down), go in his swing or open/close hands as to make a fist. Funny thing: Partner said it is what he does with his hands when V gets on his nerves! lol</p><p>If J needs a minute (or more) to use his new skills or at least tries, promiss him that he will be heard afterwards and don't just move on. You don't want him to feel like using coping skills equals missing out on something. Know what I mean??</p><p>V also knows to come to me when his anxiety is too much. We lock our eyes and he knows that I will talk and try to reassure him. When it is anxiety related, V usually does not go into a meltdown anymore. So I suppose it is an other example of what a coping skill can be.</p><p>Than there is all the prep that can be done ahead of time. In your case, I'm not sure what it would be though... You already do so much and sometimes meltdowns will happen no matter how much prep you do. Have you tried to keep track of his meltdowns? See how many a week or how many a month. It helps put things in perspective, see if it is objectively a lot, or maybe not as much as it used to be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ktllc, post: 578625, member: 11847"] When talking about V's meltdowns and how to manage it with an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) specialist recently, I was ask "What are his coping skills?" I had NO clue! I even asked her to explain the question to me... BAsically: what does he know to do or say when he gets upset, angry? Right now: V has almost no coping skills. So my question to you: what are J's coping skills? If any or just emergent. Work on those when he is quiet. Give him concrete examples on what he can do and say to calm himself or seek help to calm himself. You can start we what YOU do to keep yourself calm. It is not a magic bullet or even a quick solution, but it is something that needs to be talked about and worked on. In our case, V can choose between 3 things: ask for a break (go in his room until calmed down), go in his swing or open/close hands as to make a fist. Funny thing: Partner said it is what he does with his hands when V gets on his nerves! lol If J needs a minute (or more) to use his new skills or at least tries, promiss him that he will be heard afterwards and don't just move on. You don't want him to feel like using coping skills equals missing out on something. Know what I mean?? V also knows to come to me when his anxiety is too much. We lock our eyes and he knows that I will talk and try to reassure him. When it is anxiety related, V usually does not go into a meltdown anymore. So I suppose it is an other example of what a coping skill can be. Than there is all the prep that can be done ahead of time. In your case, I'm not sure what it would be though... You already do so much and sometimes meltdowns will happen no matter how much prep you do. Have you tried to keep track of his meltdowns? See how many a week or how many a month. It helps put things in perspective, see if it is objectively a lot, or maybe not as much as it used to be. [/QUOTE]
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