Another case of the blahs...

[Californiablonde]

I miss my hypomania! I haven't had a single episode in four years, thanks to Geodon, and I totally miss it. I'm not talking about the full blown manic episodes where I spend my rent and bill money on clothes and shoes, I meet total strangers off the internet, and I am one big huge raving ***** to anyone who looks at me wrong. I'm talking about the hypomania, where I am super talkative and in a great mood ALL the time. I miss listening to music and dancing around the living room, laughing and joking with my kids, staying up till the wee hours of the morning talking to all sorts of interesting/fun people on the internet, surviving on only a couple hours of sleep and going to work the next day with loads of energy, plus my super clean house. Is there anything wrong with me wanting another episode like that? Right now I have NO emotion. I am blah, dull, boring. I really want another manic episode like NOW! Thanks, Geodon, for doing your job TOO well.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Maybe you just need a wee medications tweak. Maybe it's just a little bit more than you need?

 

[Jody]

Amber, I had to laugh at your post, I just told my psychiatrist, I need a couple days of mania. I love it when I can stay awake for days and have fun at home, laughing and singing to songs, and cleaning. Bad thing all good things come to an end. LOL, and then you have to deal with all the things you did when you were extremely happy and didnt care about a thing. Now that was no fun. Okay so now the social thing, how about you just be yourself. You seem like a very likeable person just the way you are. How about setting a new goal of some kind or start doing something you have always wanted to do but just haven't. On another note, please Amber do not drink with Geodon, or trileptal. Please. I take trileptal and I take seroquel. I have a small glass of white wine every once in a while and I don't take my medicine till as late as I possibly can wait. Just want you to stay safe. Our medications are nothing to mess with. Hang in there.

 

[Californiablonde]

Don't worry, Jody, I make sure I am hours worth of sober before I take my nightly dose of Geodon. I have been doing this for four years and I haven't had a single problem with it. As far finding something I've always wanted to do? Hmmmmmm....I would have to think about that one long and hard. I am simply not that creative. My hobbies are reading or watching TV and that's it. I have no idea what else to do with my time. Yes, I am THAT boring.

 

[Jody]

I have a difficult child the same age as your oldest. Having a difficult child it's just too hard to plan for retirement or think about a future other than the stinky difficult child one that you have. lol. You have about 6 more years maybe less. What are you going to do when you are free, to do as you want to do all the time. Think your bored now wait till you don't even have kids stuff anymore. What do you want to do? Oh I can't wait but then also my difficult child has matured a lot but I have been looking forward to the single life again.

 

[Californiablonde]

I haven't a clue what I will do when and "if" my kids ever move out. I'm just not that interesting. TV and a good book and that's it for me. Maybe I can take up salsa dancing? Who knows. I just through that one out there. I really haven't a clue.

 

[Jody]

Oh I think Salsa dancing sounds like great fun. I am pretty low key too. Tv or a book is not a bad thing, I know that for myself, I could never even imagine not dealing with difficult child stuff. Now I realize as my easy child has gone off, she has a life and it's a busy one with college and everything. They do leave and I hope they pursue all of their dreams. Then I realized I didn't really have any of my own, no goals, nothing other than getting the house cleaned before the weekend or not biting my nails. Seemed like nothing to look forward too. I turned 46 on Monday and I am ready to start having some fun and stop worrying so much. My friends also enjoy zumba. That might be an idea for you.

 

[Californiablonde]

I am pretty much a klutz when it comes to dancing or anything at all athletic, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to embarrass myself a little while trying to learn something new. I have no idea, other than dancing, what else there is to do. Bowling perhaps? Golf? Oh I don't know. I have quite a few years before I will have any "me time" anyway so there's plenty of time to think about it. In the meantime, how do I get rid of this numb feeling? I really feel like I'm overly medicated. Maybe I should drop the Geodon and take my chances. I have no idea what else to do.

 

[Jody]

I wouldn't discontinue any medication right now. Geodon is a hard one to get off of too. Been there. I think numb is okay. I have to say there were many times I prayed for numb, not that it is exciting or fun or glamorous, but it's stable. Talk to your Dr next time you go. Keep on plugging along one day at a time. If nothng bad happens in a day it's a great day. If I am feeling really crappy and no matter what I do for me doesn't make me feel better, I do something for someone else. It can keep you busy and take your mind off of things. If that doesn't do it for me, I veg out to a good game of Nintendo 64 Space Invaders. Can't think about anything else when you are shooting at and running from the aliens. lol. Too much fun. See how boring I am. 46 and still love video games.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Don't DROP the medications. TWEAK. Sometimes, a minor reduction in dosage does it. Or adding a wee bit of something else to counter-balance the "numb" stuff.

 

[DammitJanet]

Im so boring the only thing I do is read on the internet, do the dishes and watch tv. I barely leave the house.

 

[Californiablonde]

Tried reducing the Geodon in half but it didn't work. I have no idea what else to do. I will talk to psychiatrist about it next month when I go. Janet, you sound like my kind of woman. Internet, books, and TV are it for me. Rarely do I leave the house and when I do it's usually with my boyfriend to go out to eat with friends. Oh yes, and food. I love food. Eating is the highlight of my day. Seriously I look forward to having food as the best part of my day. Now I'm on a diet to lose 25 pounds, so I can't even enjoy that anymore. I don't get much pleasure out of having 1200 calories a day. Diets suck.

 

[InsaneCdn]

cutting in half may be too drastic - sometimes a 5% or 10% change is more than enough.

 

[Californiablonde]

Well anyway the lower dosage didn't help. I'm still blah. I can always go even lower I suppose. I really think the Geodon is too blame for all this. I'm just too damn medicated.

 

[DammitJanet]

Yeah if I cut any off my medications in half I would be in trouble. I can see a little bit of a cut. I dont know what strengths geodon comes in but say we were talking lamictal I could cut it by 100 mgs probably at my dose if I needed to go down. Right now Im thinking of asking my docs to increase my topamax to increase it to either 800 or 1000. I need something to pull me back now. Im thinking I need to make an emergency appointment next week.

 

[Californiablonde]

I started out on 80 mgs and went down to 40. I was worried I'd have a hard time sleeping at the lower dose but I've still been sleeping like a baby. My next step is to go down to 20. I don't know if I should take a chance or not. OH and I'm switching psychiatrists. My mom finally convinced me to see my stepdad's doctor. He is also bipolar. This psychiatrist of mine told me a long time ago that he has run out of tricks to try and ease my anxiety. Maybe this new psychiatrist will have some other ideas. My night time anxiety is still pretty bad.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Don't take it lower on your own. The issue could be any number of things - including interactions between what you are on. It will take a sharp psychiatrist to figure it out.