Another day in the life of...UPDATED

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I'm exhausted from it all. difficult child is such a strange kid I don't know how much of what he does is in his control or not.

    He has really been winding up again lately (ie. the suspension last week), more arguementative, more violent. Today he came home and announced he wasn't eating what we were having for supper. I often won't fight the food battle but it was something he likes and he was only doing it to be a pain. I told him that was fine but that was all there was for dinner. He went downstairs to get his wrestling stuff for practice, came back up and kicked me. He refused to go to his room so I told him his wheels for his heeleys were gone for the rest of the month (they were already gone through the week. He was swearing at me.

    A bit later he got upset about something again (I honestly don't remember what it was). He pulled a butcher knife on me-I had been using it so it was out. husband came in the room and he aimed it at him. husband took the knife and he ended up with another consequence. Nothing seems to really matter to him.

    We thought about taking away wrestling but it would have meant me home alone with an angry difficult child because husband absolutely had to go to the wrestling meeting tonight. I went along because I was supposed to meet too.

    On the way home, totally unprovoked he slammed the car door on my foot-more being silly angry I think. Still not funny. Then once home he was mad again about something and started to kick at me. husband again came in and he turned on husband. husband carried him up to his room (not an easy task).

    What a night. The part that is so difficult is as soon as he is done he acts as if nothing happened and is totally calm. Lately any no sets him off! All of this and I feel I'm running on empty. I don't know that he is ready for hospitalization because he seems so calm (at least not violent) much of the time.

    If you have made it this far thanks for listening to my vent.

     
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sharon, even though difficult child appears calm, with this level of violence, it sounds to me as if something very wrong is going on in his head. I'd recommend a call to the psychiatrist first thing in the morning. Hugs to you.
     
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon,

    I so worry about difficult children level of aggression. I don't think it really matters if he is being deliberate or not; at this point, his aggression is scary to say the least.

    Please call psychiatrist in the morning - transport to ER. Something.

    Not to scare you but this is so very reminiscent of wm - it worries me. :rolleyes:

    Take care of yourself.
     
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Scary stuff. How long has he been this violent? Is it time for a medication check?
     
  5. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #663366">i'm sorry he seems to be so out of control right now.

    i agree with-linda. call psychiatrist ASAP or just transport him to the hospital. you can't be toleratnting violence like this. pointing a knife & you & husband is just way over the top....the kicking, the door on your foot?? way over the top.

    kris
    </span>
     
  6. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I would call psychiatrist, as well. It sounds really frightening to handle that kind of behavior, maybe more if he seems calm. Holy cow, that would terrify me. Please stay safe.
     
  7. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    First, I am sending hugs to you.

    Second, I have to agree with those who have already posted. Even though you have calm moments, the other moments are extremely concerning. If you do not know what the next moment will bring, that is scary. I speak from experience. When our difficult child is so unstable that I don't know what he might do next or when I am afraid to leave him alone for more than a few minutes, I know that something has to be done. Waving a knife around not only might injure someone else, but in anger, your difficult child might injure himself.

    Please call your psychiatrist.
     
  8. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Sharon,

    I didn't read this until after I already posted on the Good Morning thread. I agree with the others who said that difficult child needs to be hospitalized. Under no circumstances should you have to live with that kind of violence!!! I hope by the time you read this, you've already contacted difficult child's psychiatrist. If you can't reach him, I think difficult child should be taken to the emergency room.

    I'm concerned about your safety!!! Please do whatever you have to do to stay safe!!!

    I'm keeping you in my thoughts and hoping difficult child gets the help he needs ASAP!!! Sending lots of cyber hugs :flower:... WFEN
     
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wiped Out</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
    more arguementative, more violent.
    ..came back up and kicked me.
    He was swearing at me.
    He pulled a butcher knife on me-husband came in the room and he aimed it at him.
    ..he slammed the car door on my foot
    ..he was mad again about something and started to kick at me. </div></div>

    Sharon,

    I just pulled out some things from your post so you could get a different perspective.

    Look at your comments and the actual events from last night. In the course of what, a few hours, difficult child swore at you, kicked you, pulled a knife on you, banished it at husband, slammed the car door on your foot, and kicked you again.

    If another poster came on the board and listed all those things about their difficult child, what would your advise be to them?

    I feel for sure, knowing you from this board for several years, that you would suggest hospitalization. It is not the molments of calm that make our kids a difficult child, it is all the other molments.

    Please make sure that you keep yourself safe and your difficult child safe. I think it is time for the next step.

    hugs and love,
    Sharon
     
  10. jodyice

    jodyice New Member

    I'm sending hugs to you as well, I know how difficult it can be with that level of violence. Please make sure you keep yourself safe and difficult child safe as well.
     
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon,
    please update us on your conversation with psychiatrist. We are all concerned with difficult child and your family. Hugs.
    Sharon
     
  12. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Do you feel in danger? Do you think he would impulsively cut someone with a butcher's knife?
    Doesn't that make you think that you should intervene in some way?
    I'm sending you good thoughts that the level of violence decreases. It's horrid to live in a war zone and this is a war zone for your whole family.
     
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thank you everyone. I appreciate your concern more than you know. I'm sorry I couldn't update sooner but have been at work and then class.

    I did talk to psychiatrist's nurse today. They are concerned and had us start him on a clonodine patch tonight. We already had an appointment. scheduled for next Wednesday but if we have any more days or nights like last night we are to call him. They are concerned because usually difficult child doesn't take a lot out on husband and also with the suspension last week-he definitely seems to be winding up.

    When husband told him that he was going to have to wear a patch again he threw a fit. He is sleeping now and husband is going to put it on him while he is sleeping. I really didn't seem him today except for a bit this morning-he was asleep when I came home.

    Tomorrow he does have a therapy appointment. but if he isn't stable I'm not sure how much help that'll be.

    I do realize if this continues he will need to be hospitalized. Thanks for helping me realize things really are that bad. It is sometimes harder to see it when you are right in the middle of it. I keep thinking we can control things but then the least little bit goes wrong and he is like this. We can't live with this level of violence. Usually I'm able to leave home things alone when I'm at school but all day it this weighed heavily on my mind.
     
  14. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    Sharon-

    I'm glad you updated us and glad to hear that you have been in close contact with your p-doctor. You are doing all that you can to help him and try to contain him. You take careful detail in all of his outbursts and always seem to try and give him some type of consequence for his actions. I think you are doing all you can.

    I'm not sure how to say this, but each time I see you post, my heart starts beating quickly for you because I am worried about you and all of the violent and angry outbursts you have described. I am worried that one day difficult child is going to hurt you or your family. You can't live with this type of violence. I understand that so much of his behavior is totally impulsive, but what happens when he mixes the impulsivity with the anger?

    You are doing the right thing about considering hospitalization. Please don't hesitate to do this when necessary.

    Sending hugs--
     
  15. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon,

    I'm so glad that you got a hold of psychiatrist's office today! We've all been very concerned about difficult child & in turn, for you & your family.

    Keep it safe! :warrior:
     
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