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Another day in the life
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 201157" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I used to fly across the country, drive 4 hours up a mountain and leave within 30 minutes because of the rudeness and verbal abuse. I learned to book my return flight open ended. I learned how to cry without my seatmate knowing the tears were flowing. I also learned that I had the right to be treated with respect. I didn't need to be loved, but I did need to be respected.</p><p> </p><p>The first time I got up and walked away, my daughter was shocked. She was even more shocked when the next time she heard from me was when I got back home. After a few times of leaving (I always showed up but I would leave), she did get the message and started treating me like I was human (not her mother but human) rather than something to scrape off her shoe. This took about 6 months. It took another 6 months before she acted like she had a mother.</p><p> </p><p>Do what you have to do. She may get the message that if she wants you in her life, she has to act like she does want you there. If she chooses to throw those who love her away, that's her choice and there's not a dang thing you can do about it. Sadly, while our kids are incredibly immature, they know their rights far better than most kids and use those rights to their advantage. We have little to no control over their actions and choices. All we can do is control our reactions to those choices. </p><p> </p><p>So, stay away or just leave if she begins to treat you badly. Don't go places with her. Don't take her shopping. Stay close to the group home or Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Make any activities low cost and low profile. Force her to focus on just spending time together. If she refuses to do that, then you leave until she either gets the message or you are very sure she doesn't want you in her life. Yes, it hurts and, yes, it is cruel but it may be the only way you can survive.</p><p> </p><p>I'm so very sorry she's being such a jerk. You don't deserve it. HUGS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 201157, member: 3626"] I used to fly across the country, drive 4 hours up a mountain and leave within 30 minutes because of the rudeness and verbal abuse. I learned to book my return flight open ended. I learned how to cry without my seatmate knowing the tears were flowing. I also learned that I had the right to be treated with respect. I didn't need to be loved, but I did need to be respected. The first time I got up and walked away, my daughter was shocked. She was even more shocked when the next time she heard from me was when I got back home. After a few times of leaving (I always showed up but I would leave), she did get the message and started treating me like I was human (not her mother but human) rather than something to scrape off her shoe. This took about 6 months. It took another 6 months before she acted like she had a mother. Do what you have to do. She may get the message that if she wants you in her life, she has to act like she does want you there. If she chooses to throw those who love her away, that's her choice and there's not a dang thing you can do about it. Sadly, while our kids are incredibly immature, they know their rights far better than most kids and use those rights to their advantage. We have little to no control over their actions and choices. All we can do is control our reactions to those choices. So, stay away or just leave if she begins to treat you badly. Don't go places with her. Don't take her shopping. Stay close to the group home or Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Make any activities low cost and low profile. Force her to focus on just spending time together. If she refuses to do that, then you leave until she either gets the message or you are very sure she doesn't want you in her life. Yes, it hurts and, yes, it is cruel but it may be the only way you can survive. I'm so very sorry she's being such a jerk. You don't deserve it. HUGS [/QUOTE]
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